Warrior or Victim, choose

Don Juan said:
The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior
is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge
while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.
― Carlos Castaneda

 .     For a long time I misunderstood this quote.

I thought he meant that I had to Fight everything.
I knew this was not the Way for me.
I also really appreciate perceived blessings ; )

 .     Then I resisted this teaching.

I wasn't ready to take on my life as a creator.
I believed: patiently letting life hit me as blessing and a curse was a noble thing.

I let my habit of just letting life happen to me 

- 'putting up with' people, places and things rolling over me - 

continue unexamined.

 .     Now, I appreciate this way of looking at my life, a lot.

Don Juan puts his finger right on the working edge of my expereince.

What I hear now is: Warrior or Victim, choose.
I feel encouraged to stay on this bucking-bronco that is my reality...
and when I get thrown off, to get back on.

Life is not Happening to me. 
As the co-creator of my reality:
I am happening to Life!

What is your relationship with this world-view?
- Wendy 

In relationships, there will be tears... this is par for the course

I like to say,
once in a relationship, there will almost definitely be tears:
at least one person, leaves or dies, and at least one person cries.

I don't mean to be whiny, here,
actually the opposite:
I mean to put the whining to rest.

All things in life ebb and flow,
this is the natural course of things and
there is No fighting it, in the long run.

When we play the game of Love,
we are in-for a Wild Ride!

I like to say with children,
loving them is like having pieces of our heart dancing out there in the world, without us.
Anything can happen to them, and we live the consequences!

I say this about kids, because it is SO damn obvious,
but really, this is how it is with all our relations...

.
This is just the game;
pain and loss are part of the game...
if we don't like it we shouldn't play.

.
This is how I deal with all my relations:
I know when I engage in a relationship, my heart will break open;
the more I invest, the more it will break open... in ways I enjoy and in ways that I don't.

I always like to look at the worst-case scenario,
it helps me choose, it helps me plan, it helps me consider the risk-reward...
maybe you are different, and you don't like this way of looking at relationships, that's cool.

But, this frame helps me.
It has me remember that my precious little heart, 

my precious little heart-breaks, 

my precious little feels-like-all-the-walls-of-my-life-are-all-falling-down...

this is not Sooo Special, 

but, my particular loss and pain is not Sooo Special.

It is just the game that we are All in... 

how we play it matters a lot, 

but it is still the only game in town.

.
Some like to use the lever:
"I have been hurt before, 

so you have to accommodate me; 

my pain gets to run the show."

This is BS, IMO.
Everyone has been hurt before, 

no one's pain gets to run the show.

Within ourselves, and in our relationships, 

optimally, we live in freedom and joy:
our pain doesn't get to run the show.

Of course, a lot of times our pain does run the show,
THAT is what healing is For ; )

That's my opinion, YMMV,
Wendy

Too Much Spirituality?

In response to the question:

CAN THERE BE TOO MUCH SPIRITUALITY?

Spirituality is a word so broad, that it seems to have no meaning; 

unless it is the being and practice of consciously manifesting spirit in the world.

We already ARE spirit, there is no where to strive to or from. 
Our practice is only to assist us to allow us to uncover our Light, and allow it to Shine.

We do this by focusing spiritually, not physically - and there cannot be too much spiritual focus:
Being spirit in my body and acting powerfully from that place is the practice and the Being.

Meanwhile, much of what people consider spirituality, 

is actually the body trying to understand, shift and change 

to obtain some physical or allegedly spiritual result.

There is no end to our desire, physically; 

including the desire for 'spiritual' wisdom, power, results.  

THIS is where we are tempted to imbalance 

- with physical desire, even too much is never enough! 

Therefore, when my body is in charge of my spiritual experience, practice and goals 

- I am up the river, without a paddle.

Most of us start in this physically-focused place in our spiritual walk. 
But, if we allow it, we move to a move spiritually-focused place, 

in which we live in balance, freedom and affinity, 

while we learn our lessons, create/heal, serve and enjoy this earth-game.

Blessings, Wendy