Desire & Fear

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

When I was meditating last night,
I was working with Buddha in a way we often do together:
in a flow of 'Supreme Being' Energy,
utilizing a meditation technique my tradition calls 'body of glass' (consciously letting go / being willing to release and asking / allowing my attachments and resistances to wash away – which in the language of this prayer below, are closely related to desire and fear : )

This prayer below was brought to mind. I meant to look it up today, but ended up 'coincidentally' stumbling upon it. I plan to use it in my meditations today; it covers several areas in which I still have plenty of ‘sticky points’.

I enjoyed a Really blessed meditation last night (not Always the case ; )
Then spoke briefly with my close friend Scott on the phone, in a very self-validating place.

Lately, my spiritual work has been focused a lot around trusting Gd, trusting the Universe, trusting Life...

I am noticing a marked difference in myself in this trip. From my perspective, this process of trusting Gd more deeply is effecting my NJ trip very positively:
- with less need for control,
- and a deeper ability to let go of 'perfect pictures' (having to live up to certain ideals, ethics, using a lot of effort to try to be ‘perfect'! ; )
- so I can go with the flow more – which is more comfortable and efficacious and fun for me and everyone around me ; )

This course of events, put me in an optimal place to handle the challenges that came next, gracefully - I received a couple of e-mails that occur as ‘bumps in the road’ in my ministry. Feels good when I am 'in the flow' - I may not Like everything that happens, but it feels peaceful and solid to Trust the process...

Blessings, and the gift of trusting God more and more deeply to all!

Deliver me, O Jesus:

From the desire of being loved,

From the desire of being extolled,

From the desire of being honored,

From the desire of being praised,

From the desire of being preferred,

From the desire of being consulted,

From the desire of being approved,

From the desire of being popular,

From the fear of being humiliated,

From the fear of being despised,

From the fear of suffering rebuked,

From the fear of being calumniated,

From the fear of being forgotten,

From the fear of being wronged,

From the fear of being ridiculed,

From the fear of being suspected.

- Mother Teresa, in `Mother Teresa, A Simple Path'

This prayer has been associated with Mother Teresa, because it was a prayer she utilized regularly. But, it was written by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930), the secretary of state for Pope Saint Pius X.

(btw, calumniate - To make maliciously or knowingly false statements about.)