Meeting the Red Dragon

I have had a lot of challenge in and with my body,
and my life on this planet.

To get on this bucking bronco of life IN my body,
and learn to ride, again;
I have been practicing Energy Healing, Reading and Teaching.

This path has served me and blessed me immeasurably.
Meanwhile, 'owning' my body and my body energy, again,
has been a very long and challenging process.

Lately, I have turned a very large corner in my relationship with my body.
I think of the song: Secret of Life: Isn't it a Lovely Ride?

It IS a LOVELY Ride.
It CAN BE a Lovely Ride, as much as I let it...
as much as I LET it...

9 years ago, I came to Seattle 'sick unto death'.
I was So broken and so stopped in my life and in my body:
I knew if I didn't change my trajectory,
I would die a protracted and painful death.

I was not slidin down, glidin down:
I was free falling... without a parachute
... and Not enjoying it.

In the last 9 years, my life and my body have changed Tremendously.
I recently started Yoga, again.
And the day before, I started Network Chiropractic.
They are each amazing, magical.

Here is one recent day of being with my body and allowing healing:

Yoga Day 5: Sunday morning - woo hoo.
It felt good to do it: I had skipped Friday morning,
I have been fighting a 'cold' and changing too quickly!

Today I had so much fear,
seen as cockroaches,
coming out of my body as I did Yoga!

I noticed this particular time, that the breathing Really brought everything to a head.
I could get through with the postures - such as they are when I do them - ha!
But in adding breath, so much came to the surface! 

The fear crescendoed about 2/3 of the way through the 70 minute class.
If felt like I would break somehow,
and I was fortunate that the Red Dragon appeared to assist me.

He is an Ascended Master who is just new to me, today.
He is not very verbal - but very Powerful.
He doesn't have "nice pictures" (happy to fry someone's ass, as needed ; )

I matched the Dragon.
He helped me to run anger.
To run kundalini.
To run red vitality, life force energy.

To throw the fear in the fire.
To own back my space.
To let go of victim pictures,
and most importantly, shift victim habits.

I moved to the hot tub where I stayed too long!
I moved off more 'not me' and gained back more of 'me'.
I owned a new way of being and made a mock-up to attract a dozen subscription clients, by the end of the year; and keep a dozen subscription clients, moving forward.

I came home to a new subscription client in my e-mail,
after showering and going to the farmer's market.
The new client is excited and scheduled:
seems like a really Good fit: YES it can be This easy...

I had the 'runs' this morning before yoga and my energy waned quickly this afternoon.
I am fighting whopping flu-like symptoms tonight
Very painful body, very low energy, sore throat, FREEZING!

I feel the energy of fear and invalidation in my muscles. 
I am running light yellows, the red is too much for now.
I am detoxing like crazy: feels like metal coming out.

I SO want to blow through all this in one fell swoop!
....everything that is in the way of my full spiritual, emotional, mental, financial, vocational and physical wellness / wholeness!

But, I KNOW from long learning the hard and painful way,
with so much unnecessary suffering:
Easy Does It: gentle and balanced is the only way forward, for me, on this road.

Like I've had on my wall for the last dozen years:
Pursue Growth with Reckless Moderation.
Challenging but useful!

May all beings enjoy nurturing support,
resting in the cupped hands of the Creator.

in Life, Wendy

The curse and blessing of Perfection

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I used to be dominated by the pressure to be perfect - i.e. to be very different, 'better!', than I was/am and different than I ever could realistically be.
In various layers of my being, consciously and not-consciously, I used to think that I had to be perfect to be loved, to be acceptable, to deserve the earth under my feet and the sun & rain on my face.
I have been allowing shift on this for many years now, layer after layer, thought after habit after emotional default after energetic attachment... shifting and allowing light and lightness. It is a blessing to allow healing and change at the deep layers.

It gave me a lever to help me free myself, when my spiritual teacher told me that there is NO perfection in this world, on the PHYSICAL it is an unobtainable ideal, so it would serve me to let it go.
At the same time. it helped me to see and expereince over and over, from a SPIRITUAL perspective, that Everything and Everyone really is perfect: right now; always have been, always will be. Everything is ALL Right. As Julian of Norwich said: 'All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.' That is the spiritual reality which I expereince, when I tune into my mystical senses.

It also helps me to notice what I think perfect is.

Is it a rigid picture of how someone or something should be, an IDEAL? This doesn't work for me, I never live up to my own or other's idealized pictures of who I should be, what I should look like, and what I should do. And nothing in this world lives up to my idealized pictures either. This is a painful way to live, and it doesn't work for me. Fortunately my spiritual practice has very useful distinctions and practices around these 'perfect pictures' that so often drive us - so I am grateful to be in the process of letting go of them, and the mechanisms behind them, deep in my psyche.

Another way to look at perfect, which I find enlivening:
The Greek word that is often translated as perfect, can also mean "having reached its end, full-grown, complete in all its parts, of full age, consummated goal, mature from going through the necessary stages to reach the end-goal, developed into a consummating completion by fulfilling the necessary process, reaching the end (aim)…"
I find this a useful way to look at 'perfection' - like an acorn that has now become a mighty oak (Dr Bruce Morgan used to say ; )
Of course, I STILL won't get there, until my life completes and I am ready to transition. But, I really like this definition of perfection: to be allowing myself be in active process of wholeness, maturity and coming to completion as MYSELF in my Unique Being and Doing in this world.

And to be clear! I do not mean coming to maturity through Striving, through Effort, though Trying to be bigger, faster, smarter, BETTER!
I mean like a child in the sandbox, playing: and while I play: learning and growing and maturing.
I mean like the beautiful tree BEING itself every day in every way: enjoying the land it is on, soaking up the rain, delighting in the sunlight, swaying in the breeze... then millimeter by millimeter = after years, or decades, or centuries of being - it comes to its fullness.
I mean a maturity that comes with being myself, creating and playing in the physical reality, trusting Spirit. I am excited about that kind of perfection!
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Allowing wholeness: letting go of eschewing pain

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In my spiritual tradition, we practice letting go of energies that no longer serve us, and this 'housecleaning' in my energy system serves me, A LOT.

AND what I have noticed is: for the 'core issues', the deep wounding:
- eschewing the pain, pictures, experiences, energy...
- wanting to turn away and not grok this dark gift, rather just let it go:
this path Does Not Work.
I notice it doesn't make the pain move out easily in my system, or my healees or students systems either. In general, I notice for our deepest wounds, something else is often needed.

What seems to work, is being present to the brokenness, betrayal... whatever it is
- being present to what happened
- being present to what I thought and felt and made it all mean
- being present to how 'what happened' affected me then and affected me throughout my life to now;
- seeing the players and the game spiritually
- and holding it all, 'being with' myself then and now, and eventually validating and loving it all.

I don't mean spending a lifetime there, or even necessarily reliving it. I do mean not continuing the lifetime habit of running away from the pain/fear/whatever, hoping to bury it so deeply that it can't hurt me anymore. Because I can never run fast enough, and the price I pay for trying is very high!

So, in my tradition we notice the energy comes 'up and out to clear', if we let it. This process can be intense for a while, and happily that intensity ends and the fruit is amazing afterward:
- we need less distraction, obsessions, addictions...
- we can stop running from that old pain/fear/whatever...
- we can Just Be in our self and in our lives, more.
And as our internal expereince changes, our external expereince usually shifts as well.

This excerpt below inspired me to share, it is a wonderful description, IMO, of someone else's process of what I am referring to as allowing wholeness: letting go of eschewing pain. I hope you are blessed.
-wendy
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As Energy Comes Home

Compacted, frozen pain energy is like a baby. As a mother does not address her fussing baby with nondual language, neither do we in the meeting with ourselves. You may know and understand a lot and be conscious, but these energies are not conscious.

You come into direct relationship with them. Direct but gentle, not piercing, not intrusive, not willpowering anything. Asking contracted energy what it needs is a lovely way of acknowledging its presence and becoming intimate with it. Everything that is not at rest wants to be acknowledged, to be received and bathed in gentleness and benevolence.

It calls for a major slowing down, to receive the old, repressed cries of pain that show up now as contractions, as bodily sensations.

The mind is conditioned to want results - the result in this case being the disappearance of the disturbance. It is very, very sweet to bypass this, allowing the body to have what it has for as long as it does. You may walk around for hours with disturbance but you can be nurturing and aware of your precious cargo. Mercy and opening.

As you become more relaxed with meeting energy in yourself, you find a natural extension of this happening with others. Pain energy in another is no different in any way from energy in your own system. It is all the same separated, totally impersonal energy seeking resolution, looking for Home. So you find yourself, if the situation is fitting, in direct, welcoming relationship with these balls of energy in another, bypassing the personality and issue and mechanisms of mind. A catalyst for the dissolution of pain in others, a totally organic movement of Love.

The Kuan Yin of your heart is awakening. You come to see that You are Home and all is invited and welcomed Here.

- Mags Deane

Relationships: GO where the JUICE is!

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A friend of mine was talking about issues around dating on FB. I started writing and i just kept writing: I kept it up for awhile ; )

Below are a few of the ideas I have about 'dating' I feel something bubbling up in my ministry in this arena: don't know how it will come out, yet... I think starting the relationship FB group is a step in that direction as well ; )

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When 'dating' I educate potential partners about who I am and where I come from, I share myself, I set Very Clear boundaries and expectations: I want this and not that, 'I want to snuggle but I don't want to be sexual tonight', for example.

I believe the most important time to be honest with myself and with another about who I really am, is in the beginning of a relationship. I put it all right out there, some would say I try to scare folks away: but what I really do is get both of us to be excited about what 'works' and realistic about what does and doesn't *fit* as Fast as possible.

It is like a job interview, many folks go on 'dates' saying: oh pick me! and then be on best behavior, and try to do and say it 'right'. I have learned as both an employee and an employer: the potential *employee's* job in an interview is to find out:
- Will I fit in here?
- Does this company and position fit my needs?
- What are they looking for and is it a good personality and skills match for me?
- What are the short and long-term goals for this job, and how does that suit my short and long-term goals? etc.

As an interviewer, if someone comes in knowing who they are and what they want and is PROACTIVE about finding out about the company and the position and what would be expected of them = pretty much always I want to hire their ass! Because they are taking responsibility for themselves and their life and their career path and it is very likely they will take responsibility for the job and the things that need done, if I hire them: this is Very Attractive, personally and professionally!!

Similar things are true for a 'dating' situation: when I GO FOR what I want, what I need, what is fun for me, what is juicy; and I am clear about MY priorities: 'yes I want sex, but I want to feel safe first', or whatever: this is extremely attractive!

So I practice being 'myself in extreme' when 'dating' - we might not end up together, but I have fun, we both get value, and they know what they are getting or not getting very clearly. I am not stuck in: are they a good fit or not? I don't go to fantasy land, thinking: Maybe I could make myself fit in their box, Maybe they could fit in my box if i saw off an arm: that is complete BS! In my way of being, If I am not jazzed about them, and them about me, what is the point of that? The end-game makes no sense, IMO. If it is not an exciting fit, I bless them and I am on to the next juicy, authentic encounter.

If I am not comfortable with anything in the dating situation, I say so, and I say what would work better for me. If I don't think it will work out, I say so ASAP, and deal with the issues. One of the best jobs I have had, I kept telling the owner: I don't think this job is a good fit because x, y, z - and he kept coming back with a new offer because he saw in me the potential to assist his business. One of the sweetest lovers I've ever had, I turned down over and over; and he kept coming back and saying no: we can work out p, d & q. I am not saying to play games, or play hard to get, or any of that BS - I am saying the opposite: PLAY YOUR OWN GAME!

The 'dating' game is not about putting on my best face, and my sexiest outfit and being as NICE and ACCOMMODATING as I can be. This leads to Very Bad results: because someone ends up buying a 'package' and eventually has to find out somewhere along the way that they got a bait-and-switch! Eventually I need to be Myself (I pray this is true!) and then what??

Meanwhile, if I am trying to be something I am not, it is a lot of work, and not a lot of fun for anyone! And i have to be hyper-vigilant. And I can't receive love, affection or validation because I am too busy being someone I am not! Their true attraction for me cannot come IN because I know their affection is for my facade, not for ME! Aye, 'what a tangled web we weave...'

Meanwhile, while I am busy trying to match this one person's pictures of a perfect mate, or whatever - I am missing the chance to be treasured by some one who is GAGA Crazy over *ME* - my real, true self! Because if I do not let MYSELF out to Play, then *I* am not available to fall in love with! On the other hand, If I let my freak-flag fly and BE ME: THAT IS *VERY* ATTRACTIVE - I am warm and loving and fun, interesting and interested in them - etc - who wouldn't want to play with me??

I have been Very fortunate to be blessed with amazing partners throughout my adulthood. I always say when I am open to a new partner: although I cannot imagine it (because my past partners were amazing) but, my next partner will be even More Amazing - and it is true!!

I have always been larger than the average woman, and I am average looking, and average in many ways - not especially brilliant, or especially interesting to most people. Meanwhile, some of my acquaintances are surprised: 'you are fat, how are you with that great guy?' I swear this is what they say!

Well, I continue to let go of the lovely pictures my family and this society gave me that say: 'you Have to be (model) beautiful to be loved'. My mother actually said this to me growing up, and she meant well: she wanted the best for me and she believed I needed to get with the 'program' if I wanted to be loved. Her pictures are that I need to be thin, and fit, and appropriate, and dress well and be sexy, and cook and clean... and accommodate a LOT.

Well, I did get with the program - but a very different program than hers! I am a great cook, but I only do it when I feel like it. I rarely wear makeup, I don't iron, I dress... uniquely ; ) I am a terrible cleaner and only do it when i feel like it: which is not a lot. I am really awful at most of the things my mom, and many other people, think I need to DO and Be, IN ORDER to be loved...

And I think my mom is still amazed that I can be my unpolished, somewhat slovenly self and have such an amazing, delightful relationship with an awesome partner. I still think after Michael and I being together for over 16 years now, that she cocks her head in wonder at me - still kinda wondering: 'how did she pull this off' ; )

I am not saying any of this to get down on my Mom, she loves me, she just has very different pictures about how to live life than i do!!

Here are some of my pictures about how life works for me:
I hold on to the love of Gd, which shines out from me.
And I allow myself to love myself, the best I can.
And I let Gd continue to teach me to let others love me: even when I don't live up to my own or society's pictures about beauty or whatever.

And, if I let go of I'M FAT and trip on it as little as possible, most people can let go of it too!! I think Guys especially get a really bad rap: 'oh, Men are bad, they only want young, thin, perfect little creatures'. Of course there are women who only want a certain body-type as well... Great they can play together and hope no one gets sick or hurt or old ; )

So, for some this is true. But for many this is absolutely Not true. Folks want a lot more in a relationship then some perfect facade.

The truth is, after a while, whomever I love is beautiful to me: regardless of the big nose or the pot belly - their bodies are absolutely precious to me. PRECIOUS.

And another fact is: humans can get used to almost anything, very quickly: SO I start dating, IDK, George Clooney or Andie McDowell tomorrow - in a couple months or years, they will be just another person to me: someone who snuggles in bed and leaves toothpaste in the sink, and who I sometimes love and sometimes hate - just normal everyday life... Not, OMG, I am sleeping with a dreamboat! Because this we can count on: we can learn to take almost anything for granted ; )

There are sweet spots, and delightful, as well as annoying, idiosyncrasies about each person - count on it - no one is a completely perfect fit - it just matters if they are annoyances that I can live with!

But, to get back to the point, if I walk around saying THEY won't love me until I am Blah, blah, blah (until I am thin with long hair - or whatever ; ) Well, then, um, they won't love me until I am thin with long hair! It is impossible for anyone to get Through that Barrier - MY BARRIER! And I am not likely to be thin with long hair any time in the next month - probably this lifetime... so until then; I might as well go play with the body I've got!!

My point is, when I get out of my own way, and start ALLOWING Love Now, then that is what I get: Love. Now.

There is spiritual work that really assists me with this. I am constantly babbling about this, so I won't add this now ; )

Anyway, here is the bottom line:
I have been a relationship coach for about 20 years, off and on, and I always tell folks: just GO where the JUICE is!
- Who are you attracted to (in whatever way, man or woman) go THERE and play!
- What situation or activities are JUICY for you - go there and play!
- and BE JUICED about it all!

While you are at it:
- BE wildly authentic.
- Allow the Universe to provide.
- Love yourself, and allow love IN.

It comes down to: FOLLOW YOUR BLISS, wherever she leads...
LIFE will open to you, Doors will open to you, Friends and Delights will open to you. Love will open to you... Bet on It!!


Happy weekend - w
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Some Fruit of Life: Beautiful & Brave

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The quote below is really one big paragraph: I formatted it for emphasis and readability:

We must assume our existence
as broadly as we in any way can;
everything, even the unheard-of, must be possible in it.
That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us:
to have courage for
the most strange,
the most singular and
the most inexplicable that we may encounter.

That mankind has in this sense been cowardly
has done life endless harm;
the experiences that are called "visions,"
the whole so-called "spirit-world,"
death,
all those things that are so closely akin to us,
have by daily parrying been so crowded out of life
that the senses with which we could have grasped them
are atrophied.
To say nothing of God.

But fear of the inexplicable
has not alone impoverished the existence of the individual;
the relationship between one human being and another
has also been cramped by it,
as though it had been lifted
out of the riverbed of endless possibilities
and set down in a fallow spot on the bank,
to which nothing happens.
For it is not inertia alone
that is responsible for human relationships
repeating themselves from case to case,
indescribably monotonous and unrenewed:
it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience
with which one does not think oneself able to cope.

But only someone who is ready for everything,
who excludes nothing,
not even the most enigmatical,
will live the relation to another as something alive
and will himself draw exhaustively from his own existence.

For if we think of this existence of the individual
as a larger or smaller room,
it appears evident that most people learn to know
only a corner of their room,
a place by the window,
a strip of floor on which they walk up and down.
Thus they have a certain security.

And yet that dangerous insecurity is so much more human
which drives the prisoners in Poe's stories
to feel out the shapes of their horrible dungeons
and not be strangers to the unspeakable terror of their abode.

We, however, are not prisoners.
No traps or snares are set about us,
and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us.
We are set down in life
as in the element to which we best correspond,
and over and above this we have
through thousands of years of accommodation
become so like this life,
that when we hold still we are,
through a happy mimicry,
scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us.

We have no reason to mistrust our world,
for it is not against us.
Has it terrors, they are our terrors;
has it abysses, those abuses belong to us;
are dangers at hand, we must try to love them.

And if only we arrange our life
according to that principle which counsels us
that we must always hold to the difficult,
then that which now still seems to us the most alien
will become what we most trust and find most faithful.

How should we be able to forget
those ancient myths about dragons
that at the last moment turn into princesses;
perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses
who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being
something helpless that wants help from us.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

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The Power of Play

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I just read an article that I found encouraging: Play Power: How to Turn Around Our Creativity Crisis by Laura Seargeant Richardson

This is the crux of it, IMO:

Someday, rather than measuring memorization as an indicator of progress, we will measure our children's ability to manipulate (deconstruct and hack), morph (think flexibly and be tolerant of change), and move (think "with their hands" and play productively). Standardized aptitude tests will be replaced by our abilities to see (observe and imagine), sense (have empathy and intrinsic motivation), and stretch (think abstractly and systemically). We will advance our abilities to collaborate and create.

To reap the rewards of these abilities, we must set aside the myth that play and work are two separate things. Play should be our greatest work, as it is the biggest driver of innovation.

This quote reminded me of my niece Amy.

As soon as she learns a thing, she barely has the basics and she is already running out of the 'box' with it - building on it. I live across the country and don't see her often, but this aspect of her personality is very clear (and dear) to me.

For example: I sing a lot in daily life. There was a frog in the playground, so I was singing to Amy while playing on the swings: "I'm in love with a big blue frog, a big blue for loves me... " She'd heard the song a few times and the next time I saw her, she sang it with me, most of the words anyway... And Then she immediately started making up a new song, from her Mom's POV, about her mom's relationship with her partner: "I'm in love with a big, brown worm" with half the old words and half new words - telling me why each new part was delightfully relevant to her mom's unique, loving relationship. I was blown away: first by Amy's powers of observation and ability to 'stand in someone else's shoes.' And secondly, by her drive to start improvising; WELL Before she is done (IMO) learning the original...

Another example - I used to play 'car', and 'flying angel' and 'jumping devil' with my sister, Amy's mom, when we were little (I was 6 years older): with her riding on my knees and my feet and sailing and jumping around in the air. I have played this game with Amy a few times. And again, she is barely balanced and barely safe doing the usual 'moves' - and she is off and running: improvising new maneuvers: sideways, jumping off the side, coming on and off from the bed beside us (instead of the floor), and all kinds of unplanned, unanticipated (by me) antics. I work with her on communication and safety as best I can (I am old and broken so it challenges me, and she is only 6.5 years old and doesn't yet know She can be broken) so i try to find a happy medium that is relatively safe and relatively freedom-providing for both of us... and I am amazed: she comes up with a new thing, barely gets it (IMO) and is on to the next new thing - absolutely inspirational.

It amazes me how her play is SO original: so running for the 'edge' and right on past it into amazing creativity.

Reminds me of some of the adults I know (who also happen to be ADD-labeled) and what a joy it is to interact with them, because it is fun and because it helps me learn new 'tricks'. For example, my partner Michael loves to play with words, he is very lexy. And what I have found over the course of our relationship is that first my ability to Enjoy his word-play increased and, secondly, my ability to play with words Myself is increasing as well.

Awesome note to self: playing with those who play well, increases my own creativity. Even old dogs can learn new tricks as well as rediscover lost/squashed freedom and joy!

Meanwhile, I feel frustrated about the way our systems are designed to minimize movement as well as personal creativity. Many kids are not designed to sit inside, at desks, being socialized to be still and be 'good' all day. Some adults are not designed to sit at a desk, looking at a computer screen all day. Yet, for many of us, that is the drill.

How long is Amy going to keep accessing her mind-blowing creativity when she is constantly and consistently encouraged/rewarded to sit down, shut up and stay in the box most of the time? Particularly when she is actively punished, so often, when she breaks out of that box in creative self-expression, playfulness and movement of her body, as well as her mind and spirit. Honestly, I don't know how she has kept the freedom she has for so long. Bless her, unfortunately she is showing signs of wear - tightness and holding in her body, feeling like a square-peg in a round hole, acting-out. The pressures she is under from her teachers, peers and family to conform are enormous. Most everyone who cares about her is praying that she will 'get with the program' and conform; which is completely understandable given the world in which we live, but saddening.

I do what I can to support her to continually increase her internal senses, focus and self-discipline, so she can act in increasing accord with her enlightened self interest. This way she can play her own game more, and get played by the games around her less. I pray this for all the kids I love, for all of us...

Meanwhile, I am in good company to believe that the hope for playful creativity is stifled by our current social, educational, and even religious structures: every way we turn, conformity is the name of the game. Amy's creativity will continue to be undermined... AND by grace she will keep some potion of the playfulness and joy that she is, that she has.

And fortunately, each day, each of us has a chance to open, again, to the freedom that is our birthright, as well as the hope of each new generation. We adults have choices, paths ARE open to us now, even if they were closed to us in our youth. Today, let us be the play we wish to see in the world, as we can... WE can change the quality of our lives and our world.
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The Blessing of Embodiment

Days Like This - Van Morrison

When it's not always raining there'll be days like this
When there's no one complaining there'll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry there'll be days like this
When no one's in a hurry there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss
Oh my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need an answer there'll be days like this
When you don't meet a chancer there'll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they fit
Then I must remember there'll be days like this

When everyone is up front and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When it's nobody's business the way that you wanna live
I just have to remember there'll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything is
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There'll be days like this
Oh my mama told me

this reminds me of the famus poem in Ecclesiastes, which also became many songs, this one famous

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8, YLT

To everything -- a season, and a time to every delight under the heavens:

A time to bring forth, And a time to die.
A time to plant, And a time to eradicate the planted.

A time to slay, And a time to heal,
A time to break down, And a time to build up.

A time to weep, And a time to laugh.
A time to mourn, And a time to skip.

A time to cast away stones, And a time to heap up stones.
A time to embrace, And a time to be far from embracing.

A time to seek, And a time to destroy.
A time to keep, And a time to cast away.

A time to rend, And a time to sew.
A time to be silent, And a time to speak.

A time to love, And a time to hate.
A time of war, And a time of peace.

I have been speaking to a friend quite a bit lately about how the needs and experience of the body is an important aspect of our life on this planet and our spiritual growth. 

Yes, we are spirit in a body. 

And yes, it is very important to honor our spiritual perspective, our spiritual growth, our spiritual communication, information, senses, abilities and gifts... 

to grow into our spiritual power, creativity and seniority.

In the circles I run in, the spiritual focus gets a lot of 'airtime' as well as practice and focus, as well it should! 

Because the world we live in (our families, our society, our churches, our friends, our jobs, our culture...) 

is almost 100% physically-focused, almost 100% of the time. 

It serves us  to find our spiritual center and hold it, 

which, like riding a bike, is EASY once we get it, 

and looks like falling down A LOT, until until we get it ; )

Personally, I don't know almost anyone who holds that spiritual center easily, yet. 

I am fortunate to play with folks who are, 

(as Paul of the Christian bible says) being diligent (other versions say: earnest endeavour, labour, hasten, strong desire, strive) 

"to enter into that rest".

And amoung us, it is easy to give short-shrift to our bodies; 

even as we focus on being spirit IN A BODY. 

The theory goes, we are here in a body, to learn,to grow, to evolve. 

The end of the evolution is, to become Masters (as our fore-runners, Ascended Masters like Lao-Tzu, Buddha, Jesus...). 

What is interesting to me is, we are ALL spirit, a part of Gd; 

what sets us souls apart: 

we who are still here on the Earth, 

we are not yet experiencing REST as the center of our being. 

I have noticed the Masters have ALL learned what we have not: 

to have the body in alignment - come into joyful, easful alignment with Spirit. 

Each of the Ascended Masters learned to love their embodied life and embody their spiritual path. 

 The Masters mastered the Earth game - so they are onto new games. 

(This makes them AWESOME friends, healers, guides for US, BTW ; )

I don't want to miss this point: 

We are ALREADY spirit, 

all the riches and beauty of all time and space are already ours. 

We are already ONE with Gd and with ALL. 

The POINT of the earth game is not to be spirit, or to be spiritual: 

the Point of being in a body, is to learn to be spirit in BODY. 

To comfortably master:
- surviving and thriving in this reality;
- dancing with our emotions and the flow of our sexuality;
- holding our power and directing our will;
- savoring our connection with the Earth, our relationship between us as spirit and our bodies, our connections with all our relations, our oneness with Gd, All That Is;
- creating the stories we live in and enjoying our communication with all within us and around us;
- being the Light on the Mountaintop: seeing and being seen clearly, staying with the Body as a Light in the world;

- being still here now with - and Knowing God, our Source - our truth, life, light, love, way...

and walking IN this, REALizing Spirit in our World.

.

We are not just humans learning to become Buddhas, 

but also Buddhas waking up in human form, 

learning to become fully human. 

These two tracks of development can mutually enrich each other. 

~John Welwood

About Me

.
✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨.¸¸ . ✶*¨*.

This is my intention for myself (and to support all who choose) to:

BE my True Self
SHINE my Beautiful Light
DANCE my Unique Journey
LIVE my Direct Body & Spirit Truth
CELEBRATE my Oneness with The Beloved

I am in the Healing, Learning, Creative Life Process
of Allowing internal Unfolding of BEING
and external Evolvement of CREATING.

I would love for myself (and all who choose) to play this game,
to consciously engage this Delightful and Challenging Dance
with ease, in grace, through joy...

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨.¸¸ . ✶*¨*.

I provide Support and Services for those who resonate with this trajectory.
ReNew You! is my vehicle to serve others on this path, as well as continue in my own:

Transformation of my Inner Life
and the Creativity of my Outer Life

I use the following types of Tools and Pathways in my co-creative, holistic ministry:

* Meditation Training & Coaching,

* Spiritual Direction & Counseling,

* Psychic Reading, Healing & Support,

* Clairvoyance / Intuition Development,

* as well as Body/Energy Work (Massage).

If you know anyone looking for a Spiritual Counselor, Teacher, Healer or Reader, I would appreciate the Referral.

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨.¸¸ . ✶*¨*.

Also, I have initiated this network in NJ (and intend to begin one in Seattle-area, soon): New Jersey Nexus

This is a Professional Development, Networking & Mutual Support Group AND Event Planning Organization for NJ-area Spiritual & Wellness Professionals. We desire to Serve the NJ area with Spiritual & Wellness Services AND to Grow Awareness of the value of Spiritual & Wellness services for individuals and communities.

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨.¸¸ . ✶*¨*.

Some personal info about me:

* I live in beautiful Seattle with my partner Michael. I am blessed to visit my family, friends, and students in New Jersey (mostly NJ Shore) 3 - 4 times per year (~ 1/5 of my time), and to travel to other places, where I am 'called' to teach and serve.

* I also work "fill-in coverage" in 2 positions in which I used to work every day in Seattle, WA: Operations Manager, for a small, local company; and as a Doctor's Assistant, for a Naturopathic Physician.

* I invest a lot of my energy / attention in my spiritual practice, healing & development, and relationship with the Beloved / Spirit / Gd / All-That-Is. In my ministry, I encourage folks to do the same - each in our own unique way… and provide tools and support to do so.

* Energy left? I love to play in Momma Nature!!!

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨.¸¸ . ✶*¨*.

Some FaceBook Links:

I post and interact on FB - if anyone would like to connect there as well, here is my page.

rEvolution begins Here, Now... Transformation from the Inside, Out... Let's BE the Change we wish to see in the world:  Soul rEvolution!

Share perspectives about Connection in all phases of our human experience: spiritual, physical, emotional, rational, relational, sexual... within self, as well as in relation to the Earth, with others and with Spirit:
All My Relations: Relationships & God: Communication, Intimacy, Sex, Spirit


Experiencing God directly and opening to our spiritual senses is the Way. Calling all Mystics, and Christians who are open to the Gifts of the Spirit: Seers, Psychics, Intuitives, Prophets, Healers, Contemplatives - let's play together!

Make Connections with NJ-area Spiritual &/or Wellness Service Providers. Share Spiritual &/or Wellness events, networking, biz dev: anything to encourage the growth and understanding of Spiritual &/or Wellness-related services.

referrals and networking at FB-centric Stik
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THIS is the work I want to be doing!

.
I am bursting with thrilled-ness, and want to share:

For several months now, I have been offering my services through an additional channel: subscription-based, weekly meetings with clients (in person and/or via Skype) for spiritual growth, healing, and deepening.

Depending on each client's needs in general and that week in specific, we play together for about an hour doing some combination of:
- spiritual direction and counseling,
- guided meditation & healing,
- psychic development (opening to soul-senses / spiritual abilities & gifts),
- and shared reading: each of us receiving spiritual information around their current choices and challenges.

My clients that have chosen to devote themselves to this path are really getting A LOT out of it. Each one of them has significantly quickened their inner pace of healing, growth, seniority, and spiritual deepening; and are receiving the fruit of this in their outer lives, as well. In only a couple months of working with each of them, they are doing these kinds of things in our sessions, and increasingly in their lives:
- seeing their unique Way for themselves;
- talking with Masters, as well as Angels and other spiritual guides, about their choices and challenges: to help get a spiritual perspective;
- communicating with their bodies and coming into a more comfortable balance in their physical lives;
- allowing deep healing of their 'inner child', 'core issues', 'shadow', family relationships...
- learning to be in charge of their personal space and physical creations;
- releasing darkness, heaviness and stumbling-blocks: allowing Light;
- allowing themselves to just BE here Now, more comfortably...

Yeah, yeah, this is great for Them, but I am writing to say:
This is Tremendously exciting and Fulfilling for ME:
THIS is the work I want to be doing,
with people who WANT to be doing it!!!
Hallelujah!

These Weekly Learning & Practice sessions:
- combine the intimacy and transformation of Healing/Reading Sessions,
- with the highly-fulfilling 'teach a person to fish' of the Meditation/Healing/Clairvoyant Training Sessions,
- then add the ongoing support and practice that helps to make this new, spiritually-focused 'way of Being' habituate and integrate...

I am able to encourage their spiritual deepening and healing path to become a natural and central way of life for them.
It is such a blessing For ME to be able to play with people in this holy work!
This is the Real, Life-Changing, Intense kind of Dance that I am made for (I am like a pig in mud ; )

Anyway, I just ended a session, and I am feeling so grateful!! I am impressed, especially, with this particular client's courage and willingness to face herself, to change her mind, to manage her emotions, to choose her trajectory, to shift her foundations, to DO HER WORK - it is inspiring to behold, and I am HONORED to be part of her dance with the Divine!

Gd is SO good!!
Thanks for reading my joy and self-validation, around finding this channel of service that works so well for me...
.

Spiritual Safety is a Choice

Responding to a question about About Spiritual Attack:

From my perspective, being in alignment with the needs of my body, with my self as spirit and with Gd: is a Spiritual Choice. I support and build 'muscle' around this choice with beneficial spiritual tools and I build 'muscle' by attention and practice. I handle attack from outside energies which are 'not in alignment with Gd' regularly and assist others to do so as well.

Preferably I work with folks on tools and practices to choose what effects them and what energies are allowed in their own personal space. There are Many 'hooks' that allow outside energies in: beliefs, emotions, habits... If I leave the door to my house open regularly, I am more likely to get robbed, it is like that...

Unfortunately many of our religious and spiritual traditions don't give us the tools and a beneficial place to stand when the storm comes.

The real protection is to Know my space is my own, as a gift from Gd as part of my spiritual birthright, to allow in the energies that serve me, and choose to let go of the energies that don't serve me. To Believe spiritually that my life is mine to spiritually co-create, and have the Faith to ask Gd and Masters and Angels for assistance.

Most of us don't operate from this spiritual perspective all the time, and are hampered by our physical focus, thoughts, ethics, emotions, etc. In that case, a human spiritual guide is very helpful and meditation tools and practices are vital. In my tradition we utilize many practices for protection and safety, such as grounding, centering, body of glass (energetically allowing non-attachment & non-resistance) etc... WAY too much to write in this little box.

BOTTOM LINE - we are spirit a part of Gd. We co-create our challenging experiences as well as our enjoyable ones. Consciously creating with Gd is the way to change our creations around our bodies and our lives. Until one is masterful in acting as spirit, spiritual practices assist us to go in our desired direction.

There is no magic bullet around this. But, if I could find one relatively simple thing to do that works for many folks; I say, try a practice that we call 'Matching'. Pick a Master that you feel comfortable with (Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Lao Tzu...) Allowing yourself to vibrate like this Master, and asking for the Master's assistance can work well for some. Ask the Master to be near, to assist in general and specifically around spiritual freedom and safety, ask for assistance to vibrate as the Master does... intend to harmonize with the Master (sympathetic resonance) and ask the Master to assist. Allow yourself to match the Master's energy system, how the Master grounds, centers, allows energy to move, allows the energy system to be safe and high-vibration... Of course, ask for Gd's help and for Gd to send angels as well...

That's a very short answer, from my experience...

&&&&&

A friend responded:

Its funny u bring up this topic of psychic attack--i was having a discussion yesterday with someone about "the evil eye"--and while its an old wives tale so to speak i can see some credence to it, like people out there looking upon you in bad ways that could send some negative energy your way that you would have to deal with

I said:

In my experience,
There is non-beneficial energy that comes at us.
We can allow it to hurt us. When we believe in its power over us. When we are full of 'hooks': resistance, hate, fear, victim-pictures, etc ad nauseum...
Or we can be high-energy, and clear, and grounded, and spiritually senior and amused at all the drama: and allow it to pass right on through.
Either way, it is our personal spiritual choice. We Can be Free, Safe and living in Ease & Power! or not ... ; )

A friend responded:

yes that i know-- i was wondering more on energy that was coming at you that you were not aware of-- like i post i am getting something and how happy i am and then next thing i know i am not getting it anymore------ can someone cause that or is that just a stretch?

I said:

From my perspective it doesn't matter a lot if I am conscious about what THEY are doing, or not: it only matters that I allow shift.

That is one of the values of practice and clearing in meditation: so in everyday life, when the 'shit hits the fan', I can clear and be in charge - instead of dancing to someone else's 'tune'

'can someone cause that'?
Yes, absolutely; and ultimately I am at cause for it, or not. Do THEY get to call the tune in my space, or do I?

If I get full of mud, maybe someone threw it at me, or maybe I fell in my own mud-puddle; but the real question is: do I choose to take a shower or not? And, do I choose to avoid the mud-puddle and possibly the habitual-mud-thrower the next time I walk down that street, or not? There are no right answers here: but lots of learning opportunities ; )

Delicious Invitation from Rumi

.

Subtle degrees
of domination and servitude
are what you know as love.

...but Love is different;
It arrives complete
just there
like the moon in the window.

like the sun
of neither east nor west
nor of anyplace.
when that Sun arrives
east and west arrive.

desire only that
of which you have no hope
seek only that
of which you have no clue.
Love is the sea of not-being
and there, intellect drowns.

this is not the Oxus River
or some little creek.
this is the shoreless sea.
here, swimming ends always in drowning.

a journey to the sea
is horses and fodder and contrivance
but at land’s end
the footsteps vanish.

you lift up your robe
so as not to wet the hem;
come! drown in this sea
a thousand times!

the moon passes over
the ocean of non-being.
droplets of spray tear loose
and fall back on the cresting waves.

a million galaxies
are a little scum
on this shoreless sea.

-Rumi

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Open to Spirit, Receive the Desires of your Heart

.

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
- Psalm 37:4

I woke up this morning with this scripture on my mind. In it, I hear:

Delighting in Gd/Spirit for me is consciously opening to the yumminess, wholeness, connection with All That Is.
This delight is always available and showering upon each of us.

I can walk around with a golf umbrella & pea coat and galoshes and resist it, eschew it
OR I can strip-off all that armor and ALLOW myself to be filled and fulfilled in this deep, spiritual relationship and energetic wholeness.

This place of delightful connection with the Universe IS the place where ALL the desires of my heart are met.
The one cannot be separated from the other.

And that is enough - way more than enough.

Meanwhile... when my needs are fulfilled within, I vibrate in a different way. 

When i have what i need within, i resonate with a new way of being 

and I attract a new life around me, as well. 

Striving, effort, trying at this outwardly focused level is counter-productive; 

but fortunately when manifesting from the inside out: 

I can let go of grasping because my needs are already met. 

At the same time, I can ALLOW the desires of my heart to come to me.

I have found this is a process that is very exciting adventure, with no end... 

with many gifts, as well as many challenges

best, 
; ) wendy

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Don't Stop, Believin'

A friend of mine just posted this quote on FaceBook:

No matter how good you are, nobody is going to come knocking at your door. 

You have to take the risk of rejection, and get that material out there. 

Assume, as much as possible, that it might get taken, not that it must be. 

Also, be aware that just because a piece is rejected, it does not necessarily mean that the idea or writing is bad… 

- Elizabeth Berg, Escaping into the Open

It reminded me of a book I recently finished by Piers Anthony: Hasan.
Anthony added a postscript about how the book was conceived, researched, written and sold.
(Honestly, I enjoyed the Author's Note more than the book ; )

He wrote in some detail about how no one would publish the book,
but he believed in it and kept pushing,
and found several innovative ways to get interest in and sale of the book.

After all was said and done, over many years, he tallied the results, he says:

which concludes the most remarkable of my marketing histories: fourteen bounces, five sales, and the first sale the result of a fanzine review of the unsold manuscript. 

The lesson here, I believe is never give up hope. 

My success, in this and in general, owes as much to determination as to talent.

I was encouraged by this - for myself and for all of us.
The work we do, what we creatively birth into the world,
may not be easily recognized by others as the gift that it is.

But when we keep on doing it and sharing it, and shining our Light:
we Will find our audience, our place, our own personal success.

It is vital, for ourselves and the world, that we trust and believe
in ourselves, our calling, and our creations / art / service:
whatever our gifts are. We CAN allow ourselves to Keep Going:

- keep Being who we are,
- keep following our unique path,
- keep opening to our special brand of creativity,
- keep sharing the fruit.

(fill in the blanks, for yourself ; )
No one can sing like you can sing, so Sing Loud!
No one can write like you can write, so Write Often!
No one can love like you can love, so Love Deeply!
No one can live like you can live, so Live Well!

Amen. So Be it.

Overwhelmed by the needs in our world?

.

Like many, I used to have much frustration

Sometimes I still do! 

Overwhelmed 

by all the things that I believed needed to be done in our world.

I have some ways of looking at this, I have found serve me. 

I will share some, if you are interested read on.

I believe if I find the thing(s) I am very well suited to do AND 'called' to do,

then my world will move toward wholeness - IN me AND in my World

So my job is to get quiet, listen within, and find my unique path, 

and then do that... JUST THAT.

I believe when each of us do our 'jobs' in our own little corner of the world, 

amazing things happen.

.
I see it in terms of cells in a body. 

If i am a liver cell, and i do the jobs of a liver cell well, 

that is what i can do. 

If all the cells do their jobs, 

the body functions well. 

If all all the cells don't function well, 

the body does not do well. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately) 

i cannot do any other cell's job for them. 

Maybe I can do a little more of my job, 

if other liver cells are slacking, and that may help. 

But i cannot run over and do an eye cell's job. 

This illustration assists me to 'keep my eyes on my own page': 

to do my job and not worry about if/how/when other jobs will get done.

I cannot do it all 

and I shouldn't try: 

because i cannot do it 

and because it makes me crazy to try to do it 

and even crazier to worry about it. 

It is more than enough to do my job, 

and if i do it well, others will be inspired to do their jobs well.

This is how I continually manage these issues for myself 

- i hope you find a comfortable journey around this in your life.  

Thanks for reading.
in life, wendy

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Avoiding burnout: as clergy, healers, etc

.

In my spiritual tradition, we have many beliefs & practices which assist us with avoiding burnout, 

I will name 2:

.
*  It is a necessity for Healers to focus on self-healing:  

It is SO MUCH easier to focus on helping others 

than to quietly face my own brokenness and pain... 

It is a mighty temptation to go around wanting to inspire and heal others, 

without first and continually allowing Gd to inspire and heal me.  

Meanwhile, if I don't allow myself to be healed, 

my unhealed areas (think 'shadow') 

are likely to come around and bite me, as well as others ; )

.
* “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” - St Francis  

Similar to "Be the change you want to see in the world."

We believe the more we are consciously in alignment with Gd, 

and allowing Gd to clean out what is not in alignment with Gd, 

as well as fill us with blessings: 

it assists others to do the same. 

SO we practice quiet time with Gd every day 

and believe it is our most important work in supporting others with their own deepening in Gd. 

Every day we experience our wholeness in Gd, 

and receive our 'marching orders' regarding care of ourselves, 

as well as needed focus in our lives and our ministry.

.
blessings to all who serve, may we find and keep balance,

Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine

.

I have Much experience with Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine.  

It still bothers me sometimes, but SO much less than the past.  

I am attracting a lot less resistance to my path the more I own it as MINE. 

I used to feel attacked a lot - embattled and un-loved because of it. 

I feel that way less and less, and folks’ behavior toward me is now  less and less attacking or judging.

I have played the role of a square peg in a round hole a lot in my life 

(Goddess-loving, Christian, Bisexual, Polyamorous, Psychic to name a few roles I play– a lot of things for myself and others to get hooked on…).  

So I have a lot of practice! 

I have found many strategies to handle this for myself.  

I cannot address them all, 

but I will name a few internal and external things I do that work for me.

And of course this is a work in progress, I am not nearly baked.  

But I am so much more comfortable now than I used to be 

- I used to suffer a lot around these issues - now only a little ; )

.
Internal: This is the most important thing – always, IMO.
I use my meditation techniques ongoingly to do things like:

* let Gd heal me

* let go of my deep, sometimes semi-conscious internal resistance and judgment of myself for being who I am and doing what I am doing (internalized homophobia, etc)

* allow in attitudes and energy of neutrality, amusement, all the gifts of the spirit…

* consciously let go of competition and judgment of self and others (i.e. I let go of judging them for judging me), resistance to their and my way of being (i.e. I let go of attachment to them liking and admiring me).

* acknowledge that I have co-created my experience and consciously create with Spirit something I prefer.

* receive, receive, receive from Gd and other spiritual Masters & Guides, as well as from the Earth: the love, validation, experience of wholeness from the inside, what I am tempted to want from others on the outside!

* be what we call in my tradition 'body of glass': 

instead of blocking / protecting / resisting / attaching to energies that I do not want in my system; 

I allow Gd to clear my space so those energies pass right through me.  

The more I allow my space to clear, the less stuff sticks to me. 

What does stick or HOOK, that is where I can allow healing to shift me - so next time I am more clear.

.
As I do these kinds of things internally, I am more comfortable and happy in my own space, folks are more easeful with me, and it makes it easier for others to shift to a clearer, lighter vibration in their own space, as well. 

I remember: what I resist, persists…

This changes MY internal experience. 

This changes the kinds of energies I attract, so my external experience changes as well. 

SO, what happens is I attract 

less of the kind of people who judge me, 

the people in my life judge me less, 

and when they do judge me it bothers me less. 

What does bother me, I allow Gd to heal, 

and the cycle starts over at even a higher level.

The most important part of this cycle is for me to let go of judging and trying to change the folks in my life 

and devote all that attention and energy to my relationship with Gd and my inner healing.
Again, I am still very much in process with this, but the results so far are quite stunning.

.
External: really secondary, but helpful.

I allow the changes that I have found from using my meditation techniques to seep into my physical life to change my habits of thinking, feeling, acting and reacting.

This is quite a process.
Here are a few examples of some practices I use to shift my outer life:

.
* I avoid giving advice.  

My best information comes from within, and I don’t change until I am ready 

– so I mean to stay out of the way and let others have their own journey as well.  

I want all to enjoy our own and honor each other’s spiritual freedom, free will. 

When folks ask me for advice, I try to stick to speaking from my own beliefs and experience, and when appropriate (like when I am reading or sometimes when teaching) saying what I see around their situation.  

My tradition believes we teach what we need to learn, 

and any advice I give is what I need to hear myself, so I take that to heart.  

When I am compelled to give advice, I notice that is a place I need healing.  

When others are compelled to give me advice, 

I notice that perhaps it is a place they need healing, and try not to take it personally ; )

.
* I enjoy my curiosity about who folks are and why they believe what they believe. 

I already know what I believe and don’t necessarily need to hear myself say it over and over. 

But, if I am interested in getting to know someone else better, then I am interested in the how, when and what of their POV.

.
* I personally have found the perspective and tools on NVC: non-violent (or compassionate) communication to be extremely useful and of great service to me in my physical communication and relationships.

.
* If someone is my intimate, I speak in my own voice completely authentically and they love and validate me. 

Sometimes we need to work things out, conflict and misunderstandings – but the basis of who I am and what I am up to is Not under attack, for me this is what an intimate IS.  

For non-intimates, I do my best to ‘speak into their listening’.  

I remain truthful and myself, but I make an effort to communicate in ways, with words and concepts that match their world view. 

I find this helps bridge unnecessary gaps and find common ground on which we can build. 

.
* The more I let go of (non-intimate) people in my life understanding me, loving me, validating me, knowing me (I get these needs met elsewhere), 

the more I can relate to folks on the level that They feel comfortable. 

I do not have to share experiences, beliefs, myself in ways that people cannot interface with me in an enjoyable way (I polka with folks who can polka and waltz with folks who can waltz – I enjoy most 3 count dances, so what do I care? ; )

Instead of trying to get my needs met from someone who cannot meet them, or can not meet them comfortably, 

I interface with them where/how they can meet me – or avoid the encounter completely.

.
* Although I am very open, I do not tell every person every thing in my life.  

They don’t really want to know.  

If they ask and I believe they will be uncomfortable with the answer, 

I sometimes ask if they really want to know; 

if yes I will prolly choose to tell them. 

Or, sometimes I will divert the conversation, 

and if they care enough to bring questions up again, then I will prolly choose to tell them.  

It always remains my choice, and the consequences are mine as well. 

Many folks in my life do not really want to know about the things in my life that bring them discomfort.  

They have learned not to press too far in certain directions because they don’t really want to encounter conflict.   

I have found their discomfort with processing or their leaning toward peaceful-seeming encounters are usually greater than their desire to connect deeply with me. 

For folks who do press through and really want to know me, I honor them, even when we disagree. 

I share with them honestly for as long as they can be respectful toward me.  

When they lose their ability to relate as adult humans, I set boundaries and hope that soon we can connect authentically with joy.

.
So, that is a bit of what I do with the challenge of feeling judged. 

I hope something here assists you in your Journey.

In life, wendy

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the Power of Acceptance

.

"

It's difficult to try to be what you are not. 

Being what you are doesn't require any effort. 

When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are, 

and the complete acceptance of yourself 

becomes the complete acceptance of everyone else.

"
- don Miguel Ruiz

some will say

"accepting unacceptable things about either oneself or the people you interact with is not always a good notion"

On the physical level, what you say makes sense, and many of us are trained to believe such things.

I have found it does not work. 

I have found that I can, and others can, tweak the outside, try harder for limited periods of time, etc. 

But I have found this method doesn't work for me on the inside, or in the long run, or for anything that is a Core issue for me.

.

From my experience:

Unless I can BE with what is 

Unless I can stop Resisting 

Nothing Changes 

IF I really do choose change, 

It serves me to let go, accept what IS. 

then 

Say 'hello' deep inside, and attend to that.

Allow the shifts to flower from within.

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Some will say: 

"we are responsible for the people we become"

"Honesty in looking at ourselves and realizing that if we are less than we choose to be"

"it is within our power to become the best we can be"

"we are not "stuck" with ourselves" 

AMEN

The question is HOW? 

IN what Context?

Through what Process.

It is obvious that one can change the facade, paint the walls, and change the curtains easily enough. 

In my spiritual tradition, we find that Effort works on the physical, but not on the spiritual level. 

I have found to truly realign the foundation and change the structure of my being, it takes a New way of BEing.

Of course, many people don't believe we CAN realign the foundation and change the structure of our being, 

so the process of acceptance/non-judgment and ease/no-effort may seem superfluous 

- but I don't believe so...

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Allowing Ease, not Effort
Finding Freedom from Judgment
What We Resist, Persists...

Is a fruitful journey.

For me, 

- Beating myself (and others) up for where I am. 

- Eschewing what is Real.

- Effort & Striving ... merely looking the part...

Works Not At ALL :)

Acceptance, etc 

actually Does Work, in my experience!

For myself and with others. 

Sometimes the mere release of my judgment and resistance 

and things miraculously shift. 

After all, I am HOLDING in place with my NO!

Some say:

Acceptance Produces Change.

It makes sense, because 

Acceptance removes One of the Forces in Play

after that, shift happens, finding a New Balance. 

So, I just get to keep practicing Acceptance 

- a Powerful blessing of: Truth and Miracles

Being with what IS. 

Releasing the judgment and resistance. 

Easier said than done - and the fruit is Delicious!

: )Wendy 

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Challenge & Opportunity: Winter Solstice, 2012

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I still remain agnostic about the whole 2012 thing. Meanwhile, I experience the vibration on the planet continuing to rise, changes coming faster - physically and spiritually. When I look at it, I can see something is happening, transformation IS upon us... in very significant/explosive ways!

I very much appreciate this article (below) which claims to represent perspectives directly from Mayan elders.

1) It puts the 2012 hoo-ha, woo-woo, crazy-ass hype into physical and energetic terms that make sense to me. I am not saying I 'buy it' or don't 'buy it' in general or in specifics; I am saying, from my world-view, I can see how their world-view makes sense... and it aligns with some (many?) ways in which I grok the world, myself.

2) More importantly, regardless of the historical/scientific veracity of their point of view: I find basic wisdom and priorities written here, with which I am VERY much in alignment. I, also, believe it is essential for us to awaken and mature. I appreciate that they are from a different POV from my own, and pointing in the same direction that I believe serves us all on our journey.

So, I am resisting the urge to edit this piece; or to pull-out or to bold just a few awesome quotes. Instead I am leaving it whole, for you to eat the fruit and spit out the pits, as you see fit.

Peace in all, through all,
Wendy

What the Mayan Elders are Saying About 2012
by Carlos Barrios

Carlos Barrios, Mayan elder and Ajq'ij (is a ceremonial priest and spiritual guide) of the Eagle Clan. Carlos initiated an investigation into the different Mayan calendars circulating. Carlos along with his brother Gerardo studied with many teachers and interviewed nearly 600 traditional Mayan elders to widen their scope of knowledge.

Carlos found out quickly there were several conflicting interpretations of Mayan hieroglyphs, petroglyphs, Sacred Books of 'Chilam Balam' and various ancient text. Carlos found some strong words for those who may have contributed to the confusion:

Carlos Barrios: "Anthropologists visit the temple sites and read the inscriptions and make up stories about the Maya, but they do not read the signs correctly. It's just their imagination. Other people write about prophecy in the name of the Maya. They say that the world will end in December 2012. The Mayan elders are angry with this. The world will not end. It will be transformed."

"We are no longer in the World of the Fourth Sun, but we are not yet in the World of the Fifth Sun. This is the time in-between, the time of transition. As we pass through transition there is a colossal, global convergence of environmental destruction, social chaos, war, and ongoing Earth Changes."

He continues: "Humanity will continue, but in a different way. Material structures will change. From this we will have the opportunity to be more human. We are living in the most important era of the Mayan calendars and prophecies. All the prophecies of the world, all the traditions are converging now. There is no time for games. The spiritual ideal of this era is action."

Carlos tells us: "The indigenous have the calendars and know how to accurately interpret it -- not others. The Mayan Calendars comprehension of time, seasons, and cycles has proven itself to be vast and sophisticated. The Maya understand 17 different calendars such as the Tzolk'in or Cholq'ij, some of them charting time accurately over a span of more than ten million years.

"All was predicted by the mathematical cycles of the Mayan calendars. -- It will change --everything will change. Mayan Day-keepers view the Dec. 21, 2012 date as a rebirth, the start of the World of the Fifth Sun. It will be the start of a new era resulting from and signified by the solar meridian crossing the galactic equator and the Earth aligning itself with the center of the galaxy."

At sunrise on December 21, 2012 for the first time in 26,000 years the Sun rises to conjunct the intersection of the Milky Way and the plane of the ecliptic. This cosmic cross is considered to be an embodiment of the Sacred Tree, The Tree of Life, a tree remembered in all the world's spiritual traditions.

Some observers say this alignment with the heart of the galaxy in 2012 will open a channel for cosmic energy to flow through the Earth, cleansing it and all that dwells upon it, raising all to a higher level of vibration. Carlos reminds us: "This process has already begun. Change is accelerating now and it will continue to accelerate.

If the people of the Earth can get to this 2012 date in good shape without having destroyed too much of the Earth, we will rise to a new, higher level. But to get there we must transform enormously powerful forces that seek to block the way."

The date specified in the calendar Winter Solstice in the year 2012 does not mark the end of the world. Many outside people writing about the Mayan calendar sensationalize this date, but they do not know. The ones who know are the indigenous elders who are entrusted with keeping the tradition.

Carlos tells us: "The economy now is a fiction. The first five-year stretch of transition from August 1987 to August 1992 was the beginning of the destruction of the material world. We have progressed ten years deeper into the transition phase by now, and many of the so-called sources of financial stability are in fact hollow. The banks are weak. This is a delicate moment for them. They could crash globally, if we don't pay attention. Now, people are paying attention."

The North and South Poles are both breaking up. The level of the water in the oceans is going to rise. But at the same time land in the ocean, especially near Cuba, is also going to rise. Carlos tells a story about the most recent Mayan New Year ceremonies in Guatemala. He said that one respected Mam elder, who lives all year in a solitary mountain cave, journeyed to Chichicastenango to speak with the people at the ceremony. The elder delivered a simple, direct message. He called for human beings to come together in support of life and light.

"Right now each person and group is going his or her own way. The elder of the mountains said there is hope if the people of the light can come together and unite in some way. We live in a world of polarity -- day and night, man and woman, positive and negative. Light and darkness need each other. They are a balance."
"Just now the dark side is very strong, and very clear about what they want. They have their vision and their priorities clearly held, and also their hierarchy. They are working in many ways so that we will be unable to connect with the spiral Fifth World in 2012."

"On the light side everyone thinks they are the most important, that their own understandings, or their group's understandings, are the key. There's a diversity of cultures and opinions, so there is competition, diffusion, and no single focus."

Carlos believes the dark side works to block unity through denial and materialism. It also works to destroy those who are working with the light to get the Earth to a higher level. They like the energy of the old, declining Fourth World, the materialism. They do not want it to change. They do not want unity. They want to stay at this level, and are afraid of the next level.

The dark power of the declining Fourth World cannot be destroyed or overpowered. It's too strong and clear for that, and that is the wrong strategy. The dark can only be transformed when confronted with simplicity and open-heartedness. This is what leads to unity, a key concept for the World of the Fifth Sun.

Carlos said the emerging era of the Fifth Sun will call attention to a much-overlooked element. Whereas the four traditional elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water have dominated various epochs in the past, there will be a fifth element to reckon with in the time of the Fifth Sun --- that element is 'ETHER'.

The dictionary defines Ether as a "hypothetical substance supposed to occupy all space, postulated to account for the propagation of electromagnetic radiation through space." Perhaps it could be defined as the "space between space". I would suggest it could be manifest as the alignment of charged particles from our solar system (Sun), and our galaxy (Milky Way) surge. The Ether element represents spiritual energy.

"The element of the Fifth Sun is celestial. Within the context of Ether there can be a joining of the polarities. No more darkness or light in the people, but an uplifted unity. But right now the realm of darkness is not interested in this. They are organized to block it. They seek to unbalance the Earth and its environment so we will be unready for the alignment in 2012."

"We need to work together for peace, and balance with the other side. We need to take care of the Earth that feeds and shelters us. We need to put our entire mind and heart into pursuing unity and unity now, to confront the other side and preserve life."
"We are disturbed -- we can't play anymore. Our planet can be renewed or ravaged. Now is the time to awaken and take action. Everyone is needed. You are not here for no reason. Everyone who is here now has an important purpose. This is a hard but a special time. We have the opportunity for growth, but we must be ready for this moment in history."

Carlos says: "The prophesied changes are going to happen, but our attitude and actions determine how harsh or mild they are. We need to act, to make changes, and to elect people to represent us who understand and who will take political action to respect the Earth."

"Meditation and spiritual practice are good, but also action. It's very important to be clear about who you are, and also about your relation to the Earth. Develop yourself according to your own tradition and the call of your heart. But remember to respect differences, and strive for unity. Eat wisely --- a lot of food is corrupt in either subtle or gross ways. Pay attention to what you are taking into your body. Learn to preserve food, and to conserve energy. Learn some good breathing techniques, so you have mastery of your breath. Be clear. Follow a tradition with great roots. It is not important what tradition, your heart will tell you, but it must have great roots."

"We live in a world of energy. An important task at this time is to learn to sense or see the energy of everyone and everything -- people, plants, animals. This becomes increasingly important as we draw close to the World of the Fifth Sun, for it is associated with the element 'ether' -- the realm where energy lives and weaves. Go to the sacred places of the Earth to pray for peace, and have respect for the Earth which gives us our food, clothing, and shelter. We need to reactivate the energy of these sacred places. That is our work."

"One simple but effective prayer technique is to light white or baby-blue colored candles. Think of a moment in peace. Speak your intention to the flame and send the light of it on to the leaders who have the power to make war or peace."
Carlos reminds us this is a crucially important moment for humanity and for Earth. Each person is important.

He said the elders have opened the doors so that other races can come to the Mayan world to receive the tradition. "The Maya have long appreciated and respected that there are other colors, other races, and other spiritual systems. They know that the destiny of the Mayan world is related to the destiny of the whole world."

"The greatest wisdom is in simplicity. Love, respect, tolerance, sharing, gratitude, forgiveness. It's not complex or elaborate. The real knowledge is free. It's encoded in your DNA. All you need is within you. Great teachers have said that from the beginning. Find your heart, and you will find your way."

PS - UPDATE

Yes, I am agnostic about these things - until I experience... 

My ass totally got kicked by this 2012 energy, 

from mid-December 2012 for several months 

- I was teakettle over head - churned in the wave 

LOL

It was real : ) 

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The Power of Uncertainty

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Conditional vs. Absolute Learning: The Power of Uncertainty
I recommend this whole webpage by Richard Powers - some very useful information about social dancing and life ; )
Here are four long excerpts from the article linked above:

1)

New research shows that when we're presented with any facts as absolute truths, even math and science, we tend to use them thoughtlessly, often making bad, inappropriate or limited decisions. But when we're presented with the same information in a conditional way ("Maybe it's so, but maybe it's also this other way."), we process the information, and we use the information, in smarter, more effective, and more creative ways.

Someone may reasonably argue, "Sure I can be flexible later, after I learn the basics of a dance. But in that first learning, I want to do it the one correct way, with all of the precise details."

And this is where Langer and others most strongly disagree. Optionality in that first exposure is especially important.

2)

This is Ellen J. Langer of the Harvard University Department of Psychology. She specializes in the science and psychology of learning. Here are some paraphrased excerpts from her work (quoted with her permission).

Whenever we attempt to learn something, we rely on ways of learning that typically work to our detriment and virtually prevent the very goals we are trying to accomplish. The mind-sets we hold regarding learning more often than not encourage mindlessness, although learning requires mindful engagement with the material in question.

Mindfulness, as we use the term, is a flexible state of mind in which we are actively engaged in the present, noticing new things and sensitive to context. When we are in a state of mindlessness, we act like automatons who have been programmed to act according to the sense our behavior made in the past, rather than the present. Instead of actively drawing new distinctions, noticing new things, as we do when we are mindful, when we are mindless we are stuck in a single, fixed perspective, and we are often oblivious to alternative ways of knowing. When we are mindless, our behavior is rule and routine governed.

Experimental research, conducted over 25 years, reveals that the costs of mindlessness, and the benefits of mindfulness, are vast and often profound. Mindfulness results in an increase in competence; a decrease in accidents; an increase in memory, creativity, a decrease in stress; and an increase in health and longevity, to name a few of the benefits. And as will become clear, there is power in uncertainty, yet most of us mistakenly seek certainty.

3)

I've always presented social dance as, "This can work, but another way can also work," because that's the essential truth. The lesson I give my students in their very first week is, "If it doesn't work out one way, it will work out some other way." It's only recently that I've come across Langer's research that shows that conditional teaching also helps people learn better, use information more effectively, and creatively, with fewer mistakes, and enjoy it more.

...as opposed to what they want...

Langer points out that many people don't like not knowing with certainty. All of their school-learning has trained them to expect certainty, and to be told what the facts mean. So people are often affronted if they don't get the pre-digested form they expect.

4)

It's not hard to retrain ourselves to welcome chance intrusions into our expectations. It also makes us more creative, and much happier.

And beyond dancing, wanting life to go exactly as you wish it, and wanting people to behave just as you want them to, is violating a basic tenet of life. If you have that response, you will find yourself fighting losing battles all of your life. People are going to be the way they are. Do you want to spend your life fighting that? Or you can find ways to appreciate and enjoy the great varieties that people present to you.

Use It or Lose It

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Use It or Lose It: Dancing Makes You Smarter.
I recommend this whole webpage by Richard Powers - some very useful information about social dancing and life ; )
Here are some excerpts from the article linked above:

"Randomly dying brain cells are like stepping stones being removed one by one. Those who had only one well-worn path of stones are completely blocked when some are removed. But those who spent their lives trying different mental routes each time, creating a myriad of possible paths, still have several paths left."

"The essence of intelligence is making decisions. And the concluding advice, when it comes to improving your mental acuity, is to involve yourself in activities which require split-second rapid-fire decision making, as opposed to rote memory (retracing the same well-worn paths), or just working on your physical style."

"Dancing integrates several brain functions at once, increasing connectivity. Dancing simultaneously involves kinesthetic, rational, musical and emotional processes."

"Jean Piaget suggested that intelligence is what we use when we don't already know what to do."

"freestyle social dancing isn't that simple! It requires a lot of split-second decision-making, in both the lead and follow roles."

To Fully Show Up in All our Glory & Darkness

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To fully show up in the face of others, in all our glory and all our darkness, is a courageous choice to make.

I live in marriage beyond my wildest dreams. Not that it is always pink and frilly and happy-ever-after, no, it is utterly fulfilling for a whole other reason.

To fully show up in the face of others, in all our glory and all our darkness, is a courageous choice to make. The arena in which the depths of this challenge most reveals itself to us is perhaps that of our intimate relationships.

I was only sixteen the first time I made a desperate decision never to involve myself in a relationship again. I was determined to avoid the pain of a broken heart; I decided to be a nun. This lasted a month, until another prince came along and I was back on the merry-go-round of romantic highs and lows, happily oblivious to the errors of the past. Of course, I crashed again. And again.

My attempt to take the spiritual escape route was not very successful either. Although I enjoyed being alone and meditating, basking in silence, life constantly nudged me toward relating to other people. It became clear to me that I needed to find a way to merge relationship and spirituality instead of holding them as opposites.

Because most of our spiritual role models have been men who lived more or less reclusively, away from family and sexuality, it has been all too easy to conclude that we all should strive for a similar lifestyle to find spiritual freedom. Our attraction to relationship has been looked on as a weakness and a distraction.

Now that the awakening feminine is emerging in our lives again, we see a shift of paradigm. The feminine is naturally drawn to relating and to community and sees no intrinsic contradiction between spiritual realization and full involvement in life. On the contrary, it is in areas of relationship, sexuality, and family that she may find her deepest expression of the sacred.

- Awakening Women Institute

Fervor, freedom and leisure - from that comes the artist

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I hope this is useful encouragement for 'artists' as well as all for whom life is a creative act:

I just read an inspiring story in our local paper: Neighborhood Gems: Joe Reno.
This man found his passion, which is indistinguishable from his service / contribution to the world;
and has been doing it steadily for most of his life.

Here is some of his wisdom:

Upon his return to Seattle shortly thereafter, Reno started painting night and day, delivering art to the community and the nation in vast numbers.

Heger said Reno’s works lean toward the tail end of mystique’s tradition.

Reno’s works show mystical leanings because he believes in supernatural powers emanating from our natural surroundings, which is why he loves the Northwest so much.

“Nature is key,” he said. “Composition and character are the most important things in fine arts but you can not teach them, you have to be born with it. You have to grow up with people that are wholesome and develop character in nature, out in the woods.”

Reno said sprawl, environmental destruction and wars are making fine art disappear.

Fine art is crucial because it’s the breeding ground for creative thinking and science, Reno said, pointing out Leonardo Da Vinci who was both, a great fine artist and scientist.

“Fervor, freedom and leisure - from that comes the artist,” he said. “Computers are a depletion of your contact with your natural ways. Genius comes from beaches, beautiful parks and all sorts of creatures. The Northwest is one of the strongest breeding grounds for genius.”...

Reno never married and sees his art as his offspring and the world as his stage.

“Each human being on this planet is my audience. When I paint, I’m writing a letter to every human being telling them to be happy and not be evil...” he said.

Brown said that while you need a whole community to keep fine art alive, Reno is certainly doing his bit.

“He’s the most industrious artist around. You won’t find anyone like him. For him it’s 24 hours a day,” he said.

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