In relationships, there will be tears... this is par for the course

I like to say,
once in a relationship, there will almost definitely be tears:
at least one person, leaves or dies, and at least one person cries.

I don't mean to be whiny, here,
actually the opposite:
I mean to put the whining to rest.

All things in life ebb and flow,
this is the natural course of things and
there is No fighting it, in the long run.

When we play the game of Love,
we are in-for a Wild Ride!

I like to say with children,
loving them is like having pieces of our heart dancing out there in the world, without us.
Anything can happen to them, and we live the consequences!

I say this about kids, because it is SO damn obvious,
but really, this is how it is with all our relations...

.
This is just the game;
pain and loss are part of the game...
if we don't like it we shouldn't play.

.
This is how I deal with all my relations:
I know when I engage in a relationship, my heart will break open;
the more I invest, the more it will break open... in ways I enjoy and in ways that I don't.

I always like to look at the worst-case scenario,
it helps me choose, it helps me plan, it helps me consider the risk-reward...
maybe you are different, and you don't like this way of looking at relationships, that's cool.

But, this frame helps me.
It has me remember that my precious little heart, 

my precious little heart-breaks, 

my precious little feels-like-all-the-walls-of-my-life-are-all-falling-down...

this is not Sooo Special, 

but, my particular loss and pain is not Sooo Special.

It is just the game that we are All in... 

how we play it matters a lot, 

but it is still the only game in town.

.
Some like to use the lever:
"I have been hurt before, 

so you have to accommodate me; 

my pain gets to run the show."

This is BS, IMO.
Everyone has been hurt before, 

no one's pain gets to run the show.

Within ourselves, and in our relationships, 

optimally, we live in freedom and joy:
our pain doesn't get to run the show.

Of course, a lot of times our pain does run the show,
THAT is what healing is For ; )

That's my opinion, YMMV,
Wendy