The Healing Power of NO

My encouragement to a healer who can't say NO:

In my experience:

I learned NO, MINE, and BYE-BYE by the age of two 

- but I allowed myself to be socialized out of it.  

Yet, these are the energetic cornerstones of a well, whole, self-directed system: 

I must own these tools to be a well HEALER. 

Otherwise, soon I am a broken healer of no use to anyone, including myself 

... been there got the T-shirt! 

If I say NO, I make way for a bigger YES - for everyone involved. 

It helps me to TRUST Spirit, Self, Other, Life...

My compulsion to say Yes as a healer, 

tends to be a band-aid for my own experience of pain, brokenness and need, 

the 3 most likely suspects (some of the many HUGE temptations of a healer):

1) I want to focus on others healing instead of my own.

(But the secret is the more I face my self and allow myself to heal, 

the more I am a healing presence for others.)

2) I want them to love me and think I am great.

(But the secret is the more I am my real self, 

authentically shining and doing what is best for Me 

- the more I am authentically loved and appreciated by others... 

and they are inspired to live and love, and shine!)

3) I want to believe and/or I want them to believe I am SPECIAL: 

they Need ME - ha!

(But the secret is, their healing is between THEM and their bodies and Spirit... 

I am honored to assist when appropriate! 

They don't need Me, and it is beneficial for us both to keep that at the top of mind.)

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What is your experience?
Peace and Grace to you on your unique journey 

- Wendy
         

Clearing Trauma: it takes. Minute AND its Worth our Investment

I have had the dark blessing of a long and winding way 

with much opportunity to Clear Trauma, Abuse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, emotions, habits, addictions...

Deep wounding takes more than saying a few words to clear it. 

It takes turning the ship, not 're-arranging chairs on the Titanic' ; )

As I told a healer I worked with a while ago, 

"if it was easy for me to change and let this go, I would be healed and whole years ago."

Utilizing intention, along with meditation techniques, and wise and compassionate support, 

I have cleared a large percentage of my abuse pictures/energy and all that came with it.

As well as the 'bent-ness; that perpetuated into my adult life, and which I built my self and life upon. 

And I am still fully engaged in this process, and I will be for a long time. 

It takes courage and persistence. 

And for me, as with many, it got worse (as things came up and out to clear) before it got better.

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Healing and experiencing wholeness is available to us. 

When we clean up the mess, life can be a joy: easy and fun! 

We don't have to live with PTSD or any other brokenness, 

without hope of healing and restoration. 

And, yes, I had to change!

to begin identifying with myself as spirt, 

and not with my abuse and the brokenness that I experienced from that.

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Meanwhile, with extreme issues, it is not usually as easy as 'falling off a log.' 

I believe it is absolutely necessary to have powerful energy techniques; 

and wise, compassionate support for this process. 

For some, it is a very challenging path: 

it can feel like hell, or dying, or going completely loony, or all the above!

Wise and compassionate support is essential for many, for many reasons, including:
1) It is almost impossible to face some of the worst stuff alone.
2) It is important not to 'fall off the edge.'
3) It is necessary to deal with the tremendously temptation to want to run back to living with the terrible pain and brokenness, rather than pushing through the horror, to eventual experience of freedom and lightness and wholeness.

Enough for now, I am going out to play!

Yay for wounded healers: 

may we keep healing ourselves, so we can be Well and Happy; 

and from there we can effectively assist others!

-wendy

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When we heal ourselves, we heal the world

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."

you can some about this here

I don't practice Dr. Len's method, but I am informed by it in my own healing practice.

I shared about Dr. Len's modern application of hoʻoponopono 

with a couple of my students the other day in an advanced healing class. 

They came back reporting a shift for themselves 

by referencing/utilizing some of Dr Len's distinctions within their own spiritual healing practice.

I had shared about this tangentially, and i was excited to see this fruit.

I think each of these:
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."
can be useful doorways for healing

More usefully, from my perspective, is the KNOWing, BEing and DOing that:
what we heal inside ourselves
really does heal the world outside ourselves.

BEING the change we want to see in the world
IS the WAY

I believe Dr. Len's story is a modern example of many powerful healers through the ages 

and the shift that HAPPENS, when we shift.

I like to share it for inspiration.
Blessings, w

Overwhelmed by the needs in our world?

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Like many, I used to have much frustration

Sometimes I still do! 

Overwhelmed 

by all the things that I believed needed to be done in our world.

I have some ways of looking at this, I have found serve me. 

I will share some, if you are interested read on.

I believe if I find the thing(s) I am very well suited to do AND 'called' to do,

then my world will move toward wholeness - IN me AND in my World

So my job is to get quiet, listen within, and find my unique path, 

and then do that... JUST THAT.

I believe when each of us do our 'jobs' in our own little corner of the world, 

amazing things happen.

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I see it in terms of cells in a body. 

If i am a liver cell, and i do the jobs of a liver cell well, 

that is what i can do. 

If all the cells do their jobs, 

the body functions well. 

If all all the cells don't function well, 

the body does not do well. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately) 

i cannot do any other cell's job for them. 

Maybe I can do a little more of my job, 

if other liver cells are slacking, and that may help. 

But i cannot run over and do an eye cell's job. 

This illustration assists me to 'keep my eyes on my own page': 

to do my job and not worry about if/how/when other jobs will get done.

I cannot do it all 

and I shouldn't try: 

because i cannot do it 

and because it makes me crazy to try to do it 

and even crazier to worry about it. 

It is more than enough to do my job, 

and if i do it well, others will be inspired to do their jobs well.

This is how I continually manage these issues for myself 

- i hope you find a comfortable journey around this in your life.  

Thanks for reading.
in life, wendy

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Avoiding burnout: as clergy, healers, etc

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In my spiritual tradition, we have many beliefs & practices which assist us with avoiding burnout, 

I will name 2:

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*  It is a necessity for Healers to focus on self-healing:  

It is SO MUCH easier to focus on helping others 

than to quietly face my own brokenness and pain... 

It is a mighty temptation to go around wanting to inspire and heal others, 

without first and continually allowing Gd to inspire and heal me.  

Meanwhile, if I don't allow myself to be healed, 

my unhealed areas (think 'shadow') 

are likely to come around and bite me, as well as others ; )

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* “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” - St Francis  

Similar to "Be the change you want to see in the world."

We believe the more we are consciously in alignment with Gd, 

and allowing Gd to clean out what is not in alignment with Gd, 

as well as fill us with blessings: 

it assists others to do the same. 

SO we practice quiet time with Gd every day 

and believe it is our most important work in supporting others with their own deepening in Gd. 

Every day we experience our wholeness in Gd, 

and receive our 'marching orders' regarding care of ourselves, 

as well as needed focus in our lives and our ministry.

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blessings to all who serve, may we find and keep balance,

Finding Freedom from Judgment

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I just had an ah-ha light bulb go off!

Here’s the background:

I have encountered different people and groups who don’t feel comfortable with folks who are ‘healing’. And by ‘healing’ I mean – in process: still releasing or potentially releasing all kinds of yucky stuff: hate, invalidation, competition, fear, etc

I am still in process, still healing, and there are people and groups that I feel especially uncomfortable with, because I know they perceive my brokenness / darkness / evil and I don’t feel accepted and loved because of that. In their presence I get a more intense story that I ‘should’ be better, different, healed already! I am not OK, just as I am, and just as I’m not…

Now, of course, because I am still in the healing and acceptance process, I have all these stories anyway – I want to hide under a rock and I don’t feel good about myself as I am, in some deep yucky levels of my system. This is all MY stuff.

But SOME people and groups assist me to want to hide MORE and not feel good about myself MORE. This is my reaction to THEIR stuff on top of MY stuff.

I like to tell my students:

- Sometimes I walk in to a room and feel more warm, beautiful, charming and loved - YUM! This is likely energy bouncing back and forth with others and mirroring back to me things, for example, like validation from them to me (i.e. I’m ok, it’s ok)

- Sometimes I walk into a room and feel all of a sudden like a fat, stupid cow, and my Mother dresses me funny - YUCK! There are a few options about what could be going on, one is: this could be energy bouncing back and forth with others and mirroring back to me things like invalidation from them to me (i.e. I’m not ok, it’s not ok). Their invalidation bounces into MY own invalidation in my own system and hits/hurts/hooks. My own crap is mirrored back at me, seemingly from outside, and more painful because of that!  
..........- Meanwhile, the more I heal, the less this is an issue, because as I let go of invalidation in my system, their invalidation doesn’t hit/hurt/hook me – it just sails right through my system. This is part of why things like: ‘healing yourself heals the world’ and ‘be the change you want to see in the world’, and ‘don’t walk anywhere to preach unless your walking IS your preaching’ matter so much. This is part of why Spiritual Masters are such a healing influence in the world, and such a healing to be near: they don’t reflect back our shit (because they aren’t holding on to it) – it sails right through! They reflect back our Beauty and Wholeness – and so we can more easily allow our Beauty and Wholeness to BE. 
...........- AND Meanwhile, as long as I have a standard-issue human body, I am likely to have a little or a lot of invalidation 'lying around' in my space, and opportunities to let go of invalidation and many other kinds of ‘hooks’ in my system. Learning to let go of hooks will remain a game I have the opportunity to play: one of the healing games ; )

A couple interesting things to note about this illustration:

- Jesus spoke about ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ If I hold judgment (competition) in my space, I will not only judge others but also judge myself – there is no way around it. All the energy in our system, in this case judgment, is a two-way street! If I want to experience the world as safe, easy, joyful, I must let go of things like judgment, otherwise I will never allow myself to fully enjoy the grace, peace, freedom of Gd.  

- More about energy in the system being a two-way street: The more I allow the spiritual fruits into my life, and allow the intellectual and emotional and other energetic ‘garbage’ out of my system, of course it is more comfortable for me to BE myself and PLAY in the world. Also it is A LOT easier for OTHERS to be with me and play with me, as well.

These shifts may seem simple to say, and sometimes harder to do, but I believe PERCEIVING/VALIDATING where the issues are (one could call this acknowledging Truth) and CHOOSING to allow change (one could call this allowing Grace ; ) gets me a great chunk of the way there. We have a lot more power than we may think, and a lot more spiritual help than we may acknowledge! And I am blessed to utilize spiritual techniques that totally ROCK for supporting me to make these kinds of changes! 

And of course, I am still learning and growing. As I said above, sometimes I still give my power away when I experience judgment: especially with ‘very spiritual’ or ‘consciously psychic’ folks. I tell myself things like this:
- They know BETTER THAN ME who I ‘should’ be and what I ‘should’ do. I should listen to them, not myself and Gd…
- Oh, their judgment really is valid, I really DO SUCK. I should go back and hide under a rock and feel bad about myself until I am ‘fixed’… Like that’s gonna happen: acceptance and change is hard enough, doing that while beating myself up, under a rock: THAT sounds like a rock too big for Gd to move ; )

I’ve been stuck about these issues of allowing other’s judgment of me (especially ‘Authorities’ judgment... and punishment!) to be true for me, well, my whole life… But so much has shifted and changed and lightened and become easier in the last decade, this place of stuckness around judgment by ‘spiritual authorities’ has kinda stood out like a ‘sore thumb’ A place of obvious discomfort and darkness in my life; a life that I am generally allowing to be continually freer and easier…

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SO, I just had an ah-ha light bulb go off!
Tonight – AH-HA – TA-DA. I got some light on the subject, some insight, some traction! And already I experiencing shift.  
BBWWWAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA (Happy Halloween! ; )

OK, this is what happened:
Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.

Let me back up and say 2 things:
- My partner Michael is amazing and wonderful. He, and also we, are up against some incredibly challenging, fear-inducing stuff. Fear is a very valid reaction under the circumstances, and generally he is doing a really Great job with it.
- If I am ‘owning’ my fear, I can handle it in my space. If I am not ‘owning’ my fear, if it is part of my ‘shadow’, I will experience it less (maybe much less or not at all), BUT those around me will get ‘hit’ with it more – it will radiate out around me. This helps me understand some really paradoxical experiences in my life: Why do folks think I am being a bitch when I think I am being nice? Why am I afraid of some people who seem to be gentle and kind?

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OK, so, Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.

It felt very uncomfortable to me and I thought – ugh. I don’t like this, I don’t need this on top of my stuff, I want one of us to go away so I can feel better and not have to deal with all this fear… 

And Ah-ha! I got it. THAT is what is going on with these people and groups that I feel especially uncomfortable with! They are not comfortable with whatever I am experiencing, or not wanting to experience in my space: hate, invalidation, competition, fear, whatever. It is hitting them in the places they are not healed yet, either; and ‘hooking’ them. They are HOOKED, so they are not happy in themselves and they are not happy with me for ‘CAUSING’ it! This is great news: this is just regular garden variety, every-time-we-turn-around energy action-reaction described above. They are HUMAN, they are annoyed because of their hooks, their unhealed parts. That’s the whole story – hallelujah.

I erroneously had it in my head, in my heart, that since these people and groups were ‘spiritually advanced’ therefore, the ‘problem’ couldn’t be THEM it must be ME! If they were annoyed I must be very, very bad and I better run to find my rock to hide under. But all of a sudden I could acknowledge that they are annoyed because of their own hooks. If they weren’t hooked, they wouldn’t be annoyed!!  

I have to say that one again: If they weren’t hooked, they wouldn’t be annoyed!! I am not especially BAD, I am just a normal human being filled with all kinds of energies, including hate, invalidation, competition, and fear – JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN – each in our own unique measures. Oh, what a relief!

This allows me to let go of loads of pressure that I have been carrying! It doesn’t matter who this person is who is judging me, it doesn’t matter how ‘spiritually evolved’ they seem, or how ‘spiritually capable’ they are. If they are judging me, it is their ‘problem’, not mine! Interaction with me is lighting up for them something they can allow Gd to heal, if they so choose. And if they don’t choose to let it go, it’s NOT MY FAULT. If they are suffering about their reaction to my energies, it is between them and Gd – it is not something for ME to suffer about!

And of course I don’t like uncomfortable reactions to me, but heck, I have tools for this! This is garden-variety, this is just more healing, like I am doing every day – I can handle this! When I don’t take it personally, when I don’t make up stories that I am ridiculously rotten, THEN I can get un-hooked quite easily. I can just ‘Let Go and Let God’!

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So, to finish the story…
One More Time: 
Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.
It felt very uncomfortable to me and I thought – ugh. I don’t like this, I don’t need this on top of my stuff, I want one of us to go away so I can feel better and not have to deal with all this fear… 
Then I had an Ah-HA moment, which as these things do, took a micro-second ; )
And because of that insight, I easily and almost immediately STOPPED resisting and judging him for his experience, and how he was not ‘owning’ his experience and therefore spewing FEAR ‘all over me’. And started releasing my own fear, and allowing love and acceptance instead. Again, almost immediately, my very uncomfortable reaction to his fear went away. And then, almost immediately, his fear stopped spewing out. It was that easy and that fast: healing happened in a few seconds… and he and I get to live in a different world than we had been living in before.

Hallelujah and Amen!

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Lastly, I find this interesting: a couple days ago, I had a cool interaction on FB which started with the Jung quote which begins: ‘We cannot change anything unless we accept it.’ (Posted below) Then, a friend brought up 'The Paradoxical Theory of Change':'When you hate something and you try to change it, it will never change. When you accept what you hate, change occurs spontaneously.' This reminded me of what I have been hearing from many folks since I was a teenager: ‘What we Resist, Persists’.

‘What we Resist, Persists’ is a principle which many have found to be true and useful, including myself. But I haven’t really understood WHY it is so? As I finish writing this sharing, I am finding that much of what I have written here seems to address this very issue: some of the reasons why judgment (competition), resistance, fear, hate, etc., directly block shift, change and healing from occurring in ourselves and others; and why letting go of these energies encourages healing and change, within and in the world.

Again: 
Hallelujah and Amen!


Peace, Love and Understanding, 
; ) w