The perils of so-called 'Spiritual Romance'

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Many are hungering after a spiritual partner, to Really start living their 'spiritual life'. 

Someone to 

- eat Vegetarian with, 

- partner with in daily Meditation, 

- practice Releasing ego and fear continually & consciously together

... whatever the pictures are.

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It is always tempting to WAIT 

for Something, Someone, Sometime... 

- outside of here, now, with, 

- outside of myself 

to BE/ DO my ideal concepts.

Of course the answer is: 

Start NOW.

 

We can do these things individually, 

with groups of friends, 

and in conscious connection with all our relations. 

Why wait? 

Vegetarianism, daily meditation, practicing releasing ego and fear continually, et al, 

- who can argue? let's GO!
; )

Trying to add 'romantic love' (really dependency on any other person) to the mix 

is a recipe for disaster.

It stops me from my path. 

AND 

Truth is: I need to have my act together when that Romance wave hits 

- it Really upsets the applecart, 

- and I Really need to know Who I am and What I want, 

or it is easy to be Swept Away....

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Tying one's Relationship 

to expectation or demand of some list of beliefs, ways-of-being, practices (from self and other) 

make always-changing relationships between always-growing people, even harder than they already are!

But, as a conscious practice choice of one individual, 

who is already vibrating more and more in this way, 

who desires to attract another in a love dance...

 

With someone who hopefully will at least sometimes / often? 

be in alignment with these practices, knowing sometimes they may not!!!

; ) 

This seems a more obtainable and healthy path, to me.

We attract the vibration we are, after all. 

SO being the practice, 

seems the most likely path to attract someone in alignment with the practice, seems to me...

After that, what is Absolutely Necessary for them to be/do?

For me, I Require nothing discussed above, of Them. 

What about you?

: ) W

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Being with Issues & Emotions stored in our Bodies

Photo: Anguish by Porschelinn on Flickr

Below is most of the article by Bernie Clark: Issues in our Tissues: Looking at the Emotions We Store in Our Bodies

Just as it is inappropriate and unhealthy to push past our physical edges, it is also unskillful and unhelpful to push past our emotional edges.

The first thing to recognize when strong emotions arise in our yoga practice is: “I am not alone!” Many people experience discomforting emotions and even elating emotions while doing their practice. Just being aware that others have gone through the same experience—and survived very nicely, thank you very much—helps to take the edge off the anxiety of the moment...

We all have issues in our tissues, which is to say, we store emotions in our bodies. Where else could they possible be?

Emotions are not stored out there in some cloud server on the Internet: they are not on a Google computer in hyperspace. They are within you, close at hand and ready at a moment’s notice to manifest.

The dance of yoga is one of playing our edges: we approach the point of being too deep, never actually arriving at this point, and then we back off to see if we can approach that edge again, safely. This is the art: never actually going too deep, but moving constantly towards that edge where the sensations are juicy, where there is definitely something happening, but it is not too much sensation and we are never in danger of ripping the body open.

When we think about our edges we often think in physical terms, and you may well have had such an image in your mind when you read the above words, but we have edges emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. Just as it is inappropriate and unhealthy to push past our physical edges it is also unskillful and unhelpful to push past our emotional edges. Just as we may have scar tissue in our body that prevents our full range of movement, we often have emotional scar tissue as well that can restrict our interpersonal and lifestyle ranges of movement. These stuck, contracted areas can be painful when worked into and we can only go so far in our yoga practice to really open up...

Once again the answer is to play your edge, but with enhanced awareness.

Our basic emotions exist within us to provide protection, healing and growth—they are not inherently bad: they are in fact very necessary for a whole life well lived. But sometimes emotions are evoked unskillfully and it is in these cases that we need to evaluate the raw experience of the emotion unemotionally, with dispassion.

Let’s take a real life example: let’s say that recently you have begun to experience a strong feeling of fear, desperately wanting to get out of the posture, wanting to scream like crazy, “A pressure on my chest!” as one student recently noted when she went into Straddle (Dragonfly) pose during a Yin Yoga class. She had been practicing Yin Yoga for over a year so this sudden arising of fear was surprising, perplexing and worrying. What does it mean and what should she do?

First, realize that you are not the only one. Emotions will arise at some point in your yoga journey. That is quite natural when you consider that yoga works the full body, not just the physical tissues. Next, consider the depth of the emotions and whether these feelings are limited only to your yoga practice or also arise at other times in life, because if they do, you may want to seek some professional assistance in determining what it means and how to work through the challenge. Finally, know that this is a wonderful opportunity to deepen your yoga practice, to go beyond the mere postures and into the depths of your own being.

Photo: raganmd on Flickr

David Williams, one of the first two Americans to practice Ashtanga Yoga, once observed that the real yoga is what you can’t see. He means that the real process of yoga unfolds beneath the obvious shapes that we contort our bodies into, it involves the breath and the way we pay attention to what is happening within. This is the invitation your strong emotional response is offering you. Rather than blindly or automatically react to the emotion, cultivate an attitude of acceptance and curiosity. Ask yourself what is really going on: “What is this?”...

Poses in yoga work the body physically and energetically, stimulating the meridian lines that correspond to the major organs of the body and sometimes eliciting strong emotional responses. In the example of the woman who experienced fear while she was in Straddle Pose, she may have created a deep stress along the inner thighs, the adductor muscle group, through which the liver and kidney meridians run. This stress may be sufficient to trigger an emotional response if there is some blockage psychically or emotionally in the pertaining organs of the liver and kidneys.

Regardless of the cause of the emotional response, the prescription is the same: awareness with dispassion. Watch what is occurring without trying to change it, without running away from it, without giving into it in despair or resignation. Of course, as we have already discussed, if you really feel you are past your edge and are too deeply into an emotional state, then back off! But if the emotions are just challenging, not dangerous, stay and observe the raw experience that is occurring. This is when something interesting is about to happen. Don’t miss it!

Ask yourself constantly, “What is this?”

Note the emotions and the associated physical sensations in detail to yourself: what are you feeling, what is your breath like, your heart rate, is there increased tension in your jaw, shoulders, neck? For example, if you are feeling fear, notice what fear feels like: “my breath is shorter and choppy; my shoulders are tense; my thoughts are foggy and I can’t focus.”

Don’t judge these sensations as good or bad and don’t try to change them; just observe them as they are...

To sum up, when a strong emotion arises in the middle of a yoga practice pay attention to it. If it is too strong, back off and perhaps even stop the practice for that day. If this continues to happen to the degree that you can no longer practice skillfully, then seek help from a qualified yoga teacher or counseling. However, if the emotions are challenging but not dangerous, use this opportunity to take your yoga practice to a new level: play the edge of the emotion without going over the edge. Start to observe what is actually occurring, without adding anything to the experience and without taking anything away from it.

One last thought, and for this I will quote Rod Stryker: “If you have never laughed or cried in a yoga class, what are you waiting for?”

  Bernie Clark

The Healing Power of NO

My encouragement to a healer who can't say NO:

In my experience:

I learned NO, MINE, and BYE-BYE by the age of two 

- but I allowed myself to be socialized out of it.  

Yet, these are the energetic cornerstones of a well, whole, self-directed system: 

I must own these tools to be a well HEALER. 

Otherwise, soon I am a broken healer of no use to anyone, including myself 

... been there got the T-shirt! 

If I say NO, I make way for a bigger YES - for everyone involved. 

It helps me to TRUST Spirit, Self, Other, Life...

My compulsion to say Yes as a healer, 

tends to be a band-aid for my own experience of pain, brokenness and need, 

the 3 most likely suspects (some of the many HUGE temptations of a healer):

1) I want to focus on others healing instead of my own.

(But the secret is the more I face my self and allow myself to heal, 

the more I am a healing presence for others.)

2) I want them to love me and think I am great.

(But the secret is the more I am my real self, 

authentically shining and doing what is best for Me 

- the more I am authentically loved and appreciated by others... 

and they are inspired to live and love, and shine!)

3) I want to believe and/or I want them to believe I am SPECIAL: 

they Need ME - ha!

(But the secret is, their healing is between THEM and their bodies and Spirit... 

I am honored to assist when appropriate! 

They don't need Me, and it is beneficial for us both to keep that at the top of mind.)

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What is your experience?
Peace and Grace to you on your unique journey 

- Wendy
         

Overwhelmed by the needs in our world?

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Like many, I used to have much frustration

Sometimes I still do! 

Overwhelmed 

by all the things that I believed needed to be done in our world.

I have some ways of looking at this, I have found serve me. 

I will share some, if you are interested read on.

I believe if I find the thing(s) I am very well suited to do AND 'called' to do,

then my world will move toward wholeness - IN me AND in my World

So my job is to get quiet, listen within, and find my unique path, 

and then do that... JUST THAT.

I believe when each of us do our 'jobs' in our own little corner of the world, 

amazing things happen.

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I see it in terms of cells in a body. 

If i am a liver cell, and i do the jobs of a liver cell well, 

that is what i can do. 

If all the cells do their jobs, 

the body functions well. 

If all all the cells don't function well, 

the body does not do well. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately) 

i cannot do any other cell's job for them. 

Maybe I can do a little more of my job, 

if other liver cells are slacking, and that may help. 

But i cannot run over and do an eye cell's job. 

This illustration assists me to 'keep my eyes on my own page': 

to do my job and not worry about if/how/when other jobs will get done.

I cannot do it all 

and I shouldn't try: 

because i cannot do it 

and because it makes me crazy to try to do it 

and even crazier to worry about it. 

It is more than enough to do my job, 

and if i do it well, others will be inspired to do their jobs well.

This is how I continually manage these issues for myself 

- i hope you find a comfortable journey around this in your life.  

Thanks for reading.
in life, wendy

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Avoiding burnout: as clergy, healers, etc

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In my spiritual tradition, we have many beliefs & practices which assist us with avoiding burnout, 

I will name 2:

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*  It is a necessity for Healers to focus on self-healing:  

It is SO MUCH easier to focus on helping others 

than to quietly face my own brokenness and pain... 

It is a mighty temptation to go around wanting to inspire and heal others, 

without first and continually allowing Gd to inspire and heal me.  

Meanwhile, if I don't allow myself to be healed, 

my unhealed areas (think 'shadow') 

are likely to come around and bite me, as well as others ; )

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* “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” - St Francis  

Similar to "Be the change you want to see in the world."

We believe the more we are consciously in alignment with Gd, 

and allowing Gd to clean out what is not in alignment with Gd, 

as well as fill us with blessings: 

it assists others to do the same. 

SO we practice quiet time with Gd every day 

and believe it is our most important work in supporting others with their own deepening in Gd. 

Every day we experience our wholeness in Gd, 

and receive our 'marching orders' regarding care of ourselves, 

as well as needed focus in our lives and our ministry.

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blessings to all who serve, may we find and keep balance,

Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine

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I have Much experience with Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine.  

It still bothers me sometimes, but SO much less than the past.  

I am attracting a lot less resistance to my path the more I own it as MINE. 

I used to feel attacked a lot - embattled and un-loved because of it. 

I feel that way less and less, and folks’ behavior toward me is now  less and less attacking or judging.

I have played the role of a square peg in a round hole a lot in my life 

(Goddess-loving, Christian, Bisexual, Polyamorous, Psychic to name a few roles I play– a lot of things for myself and others to get hooked on…).  

So I have a lot of practice! 

I have found many strategies to handle this for myself.  

I cannot address them all, 

but I will name a few internal and external things I do that work for me.

And of course this is a work in progress, I am not nearly baked.  

But I am so much more comfortable now than I used to be 

- I used to suffer a lot around these issues - now only a little ; )

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Internal: This is the most important thing – always, IMO.
I use my meditation techniques ongoingly to do things like:

* let Gd heal me

* let go of my deep, sometimes semi-conscious internal resistance and judgment of myself for being who I am and doing what I am doing (internalized homophobia, etc)

* allow in attitudes and energy of neutrality, amusement, all the gifts of the spirit…

* consciously let go of competition and judgment of self and others (i.e. I let go of judging them for judging me), resistance to their and my way of being (i.e. I let go of attachment to them liking and admiring me).

* acknowledge that I have co-created my experience and consciously create with Spirit something I prefer.

* receive, receive, receive from Gd and other spiritual Masters & Guides, as well as from the Earth: the love, validation, experience of wholeness from the inside, what I am tempted to want from others on the outside!

* be what we call in my tradition 'body of glass': 

instead of blocking / protecting / resisting / attaching to energies that I do not want in my system; 

I allow Gd to clear my space so those energies pass right through me.  

The more I allow my space to clear, the less stuff sticks to me. 

What does stick or HOOK, that is where I can allow healing to shift me - so next time I am more clear.

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As I do these kinds of things internally, I am more comfortable and happy in my own space, folks are more easeful with me, and it makes it easier for others to shift to a clearer, lighter vibration in their own space, as well. 

I remember: what I resist, persists…

This changes MY internal experience. 

This changes the kinds of energies I attract, so my external experience changes as well. 

SO, what happens is I attract 

less of the kind of people who judge me, 

the people in my life judge me less, 

and when they do judge me it bothers me less. 

What does bother me, I allow Gd to heal, 

and the cycle starts over at even a higher level.

The most important part of this cycle is for me to let go of judging and trying to change the folks in my life 

and devote all that attention and energy to my relationship with Gd and my inner healing.
Again, I am still very much in process with this, but the results so far are quite stunning.

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External: really secondary, but helpful.

I allow the changes that I have found from using my meditation techniques to seep into my physical life to change my habits of thinking, feeling, acting and reacting.

This is quite a process.
Here are a few examples of some practices I use to shift my outer life:

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* I avoid giving advice.  

My best information comes from within, and I don’t change until I am ready 

– so I mean to stay out of the way and let others have their own journey as well.  

I want all to enjoy our own and honor each other’s spiritual freedom, free will. 

When folks ask me for advice, I try to stick to speaking from my own beliefs and experience, and when appropriate (like when I am reading or sometimes when teaching) saying what I see around their situation.  

My tradition believes we teach what we need to learn, 

and any advice I give is what I need to hear myself, so I take that to heart.  

When I am compelled to give advice, I notice that is a place I need healing.  

When others are compelled to give me advice, 

I notice that perhaps it is a place they need healing, and try not to take it personally ; )

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* I enjoy my curiosity about who folks are and why they believe what they believe. 

I already know what I believe and don’t necessarily need to hear myself say it over and over. 

But, if I am interested in getting to know someone else better, then I am interested in the how, when and what of their POV.

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* I personally have found the perspective and tools on NVC: non-violent (or compassionate) communication to be extremely useful and of great service to me in my physical communication and relationships.

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* If someone is my intimate, I speak in my own voice completely authentically and they love and validate me. 

Sometimes we need to work things out, conflict and misunderstandings – but the basis of who I am and what I am up to is Not under attack, for me this is what an intimate IS.  

For non-intimates, I do my best to ‘speak into their listening’.  

I remain truthful and myself, but I make an effort to communicate in ways, with words and concepts that match their world view. 

I find this helps bridge unnecessary gaps and find common ground on which we can build. 

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* The more I let go of (non-intimate) people in my life understanding me, loving me, validating me, knowing me (I get these needs met elsewhere), 

the more I can relate to folks on the level that They feel comfortable. 

I do not have to share experiences, beliefs, myself in ways that people cannot interface with me in an enjoyable way (I polka with folks who can polka and waltz with folks who can waltz – I enjoy most 3 count dances, so what do I care? ; )

Instead of trying to get my needs met from someone who cannot meet them, or can not meet them comfortably, 

I interface with them where/how they can meet me – or avoid the encounter completely.

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* Although I am very open, I do not tell every person every thing in my life.  

They don’t really want to know.  

If they ask and I believe they will be uncomfortable with the answer, 

I sometimes ask if they really want to know; 

if yes I will prolly choose to tell them. 

Or, sometimes I will divert the conversation, 

and if they care enough to bring questions up again, then I will prolly choose to tell them.  

It always remains my choice, and the consequences are mine as well. 

Many folks in my life do not really want to know about the things in my life that bring them discomfort.  

They have learned not to press too far in certain directions because they don’t really want to encounter conflict.   

I have found their discomfort with processing or their leaning toward peaceful-seeming encounters are usually greater than their desire to connect deeply with me. 

For folks who do press through and really want to know me, I honor them, even when we disagree. 

I share with them honestly for as long as they can be respectful toward me.  

When they lose their ability to relate as adult humans, I set boundaries and hope that soon we can connect authentically with joy.

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So, that is a bit of what I do with the challenge of feeling judged. 

I hope something here assists you in your Journey.

In life, wendy

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Finding Freedom from Judgment

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I just had an ah-ha light bulb go off!

Here’s the background:

I have encountered different people and groups who don’t feel comfortable with folks who are ‘healing’. And by ‘healing’ I mean – in process: still releasing or potentially releasing all kinds of yucky stuff: hate, invalidation, competition, fear, etc

I am still in process, still healing, and there are people and groups that I feel especially uncomfortable with, because I know they perceive my brokenness / darkness / evil and I don’t feel accepted and loved because of that. In their presence I get a more intense story that I ‘should’ be better, different, healed already! I am not OK, just as I am, and just as I’m not…

Now, of course, because I am still in the healing and acceptance process, I have all these stories anyway – I want to hide under a rock and I don’t feel good about myself as I am, in some deep yucky levels of my system. This is all MY stuff.

But SOME people and groups assist me to want to hide MORE and not feel good about myself MORE. This is my reaction to THEIR stuff on top of MY stuff.

I like to tell my students:

- Sometimes I walk in to a room and feel more warm, beautiful, charming and loved - YUM! This is likely energy bouncing back and forth with others and mirroring back to me things, for example, like validation from them to me (i.e. I’m ok, it’s ok)

- Sometimes I walk into a room and feel all of a sudden like a fat, stupid cow, and my Mother dresses me funny - YUCK! There are a few options about what could be going on, one is: this could be energy bouncing back and forth with others and mirroring back to me things like invalidation from them to me (i.e. I’m not ok, it’s not ok). Their invalidation bounces into MY own invalidation in my own system and hits/hurts/hooks. My own crap is mirrored back at me, seemingly from outside, and more painful because of that!  
..........- Meanwhile, the more I heal, the less this is an issue, because as I let go of invalidation in my system, their invalidation doesn’t hit/hurt/hook me – it just sails right through my system. This is part of why things like: ‘healing yourself heals the world’ and ‘be the change you want to see in the world’, and ‘don’t walk anywhere to preach unless your walking IS your preaching’ matter so much. This is part of why Spiritual Masters are such a healing influence in the world, and such a healing to be near: they don’t reflect back our shit (because they aren’t holding on to it) – it sails right through! They reflect back our Beauty and Wholeness – and so we can more easily allow our Beauty and Wholeness to BE. 
...........- AND Meanwhile, as long as I have a standard-issue human body, I am likely to have a little or a lot of invalidation 'lying around' in my space, and opportunities to let go of invalidation and many other kinds of ‘hooks’ in my system. Learning to let go of hooks will remain a game I have the opportunity to play: one of the healing games ; )

A couple interesting things to note about this illustration:

- Jesus spoke about ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ If I hold judgment (competition) in my space, I will not only judge others but also judge myself – there is no way around it. All the energy in our system, in this case judgment, is a two-way street! If I want to experience the world as safe, easy, joyful, I must let go of things like judgment, otherwise I will never allow myself to fully enjoy the grace, peace, freedom of Gd.  

- More about energy in the system being a two-way street: The more I allow the spiritual fruits into my life, and allow the intellectual and emotional and other energetic ‘garbage’ out of my system, of course it is more comfortable for me to BE myself and PLAY in the world. Also it is A LOT easier for OTHERS to be with me and play with me, as well.

These shifts may seem simple to say, and sometimes harder to do, but I believe PERCEIVING/VALIDATING where the issues are (one could call this acknowledging Truth) and CHOOSING to allow change (one could call this allowing Grace ; ) gets me a great chunk of the way there. We have a lot more power than we may think, and a lot more spiritual help than we may acknowledge! And I am blessed to utilize spiritual techniques that totally ROCK for supporting me to make these kinds of changes! 

And of course, I am still learning and growing. As I said above, sometimes I still give my power away when I experience judgment: especially with ‘very spiritual’ or ‘consciously psychic’ folks. I tell myself things like this:
- They know BETTER THAN ME who I ‘should’ be and what I ‘should’ do. I should listen to them, not myself and Gd…
- Oh, their judgment really is valid, I really DO SUCK. I should go back and hide under a rock and feel bad about myself until I am ‘fixed’… Like that’s gonna happen: acceptance and change is hard enough, doing that while beating myself up, under a rock: THAT sounds like a rock too big for Gd to move ; )

I’ve been stuck about these issues of allowing other’s judgment of me (especially ‘Authorities’ judgment... and punishment!) to be true for me, well, my whole life… But so much has shifted and changed and lightened and become easier in the last decade, this place of stuckness around judgment by ‘spiritual authorities’ has kinda stood out like a ‘sore thumb’ A place of obvious discomfort and darkness in my life; a life that I am generally allowing to be continually freer and easier…

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SO, I just had an ah-ha light bulb go off!
Tonight – AH-HA – TA-DA. I got some light on the subject, some insight, some traction! And already I experiencing shift.  
BBWWWAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA (Happy Halloween! ; )

OK, this is what happened:
Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.

Let me back up and say 2 things:
- My partner Michael is amazing and wonderful. He, and also we, are up against some incredibly challenging, fear-inducing stuff. Fear is a very valid reaction under the circumstances, and generally he is doing a really Great job with it.
- If I am ‘owning’ my fear, I can handle it in my space. If I am not ‘owning’ my fear, if it is part of my ‘shadow’, I will experience it less (maybe much less or not at all), BUT those around me will get ‘hit’ with it more – it will radiate out around me. This helps me understand some really paradoxical experiences in my life: Why do folks think I am being a bitch when I think I am being nice? Why am I afraid of some people who seem to be gentle and kind?

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OK, so, Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.

It felt very uncomfortable to me and I thought – ugh. I don’t like this, I don’t need this on top of my stuff, I want one of us to go away so I can feel better and not have to deal with all this fear… 

And Ah-ha! I got it. THAT is what is going on with these people and groups that I feel especially uncomfortable with! They are not comfortable with whatever I am experiencing, or not wanting to experience in my space: hate, invalidation, competition, fear, whatever. It is hitting them in the places they are not healed yet, either; and ‘hooking’ them. They are HOOKED, so they are not happy in themselves and they are not happy with me for ‘CAUSING’ it! This is great news: this is just regular garden variety, every-time-we-turn-around energy action-reaction described above. They are HUMAN, they are annoyed because of their hooks, their unhealed parts. That’s the whole story – hallelujah.

I erroneously had it in my head, in my heart, that since these people and groups were ‘spiritually advanced’ therefore, the ‘problem’ couldn’t be THEM it must be ME! If they were annoyed I must be very, very bad and I better run to find my rock to hide under. But all of a sudden I could acknowledge that they are annoyed because of their own hooks. If they weren’t hooked, they wouldn’t be annoyed!!  

I have to say that one again: If they weren’t hooked, they wouldn’t be annoyed!! I am not especially BAD, I am just a normal human being filled with all kinds of energies, including hate, invalidation, competition, and fear – JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN – each in our own unique measures. Oh, what a relief!

This allows me to let go of loads of pressure that I have been carrying! It doesn’t matter who this person is who is judging me, it doesn’t matter how ‘spiritually evolved’ they seem, or how ‘spiritually capable’ they are. If they are judging me, it is their ‘problem’, not mine! Interaction with me is lighting up for them something they can allow Gd to heal, if they so choose. And if they don’t choose to let it go, it’s NOT MY FAULT. If they are suffering about their reaction to my energies, it is between them and Gd – it is not something for ME to suffer about!

And of course I don’t like uncomfortable reactions to me, but heck, I have tools for this! This is garden-variety, this is just more healing, like I am doing every day – I can handle this! When I don’t take it personally, when I don’t make up stories that I am ridiculously rotten, THEN I can get un-hooked quite easily. I can just ‘Let Go and Let God’!

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So, to finish the story…
One More Time: 
Michael came out of his office radiating FEAR.
It felt very uncomfortable to me and I thought – ugh. I don’t like this, I don’t need this on top of my stuff, I want one of us to go away so I can feel better and not have to deal with all this fear… 
Then I had an Ah-HA moment, which as these things do, took a micro-second ; )
And because of that insight, I easily and almost immediately STOPPED resisting and judging him for his experience, and how he was not ‘owning’ his experience and therefore spewing FEAR ‘all over me’. And started releasing my own fear, and allowing love and acceptance instead. Again, almost immediately, my very uncomfortable reaction to his fear went away. And then, almost immediately, his fear stopped spewing out. It was that easy and that fast: healing happened in a few seconds… and he and I get to live in a different world than we had been living in before.

Hallelujah and Amen!

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Lastly, I find this interesting: a couple days ago, I had a cool interaction on FB which started with the Jung quote which begins: ‘We cannot change anything unless we accept it.’ (Posted below) Then, a friend brought up 'The Paradoxical Theory of Change':'When you hate something and you try to change it, it will never change. When you accept what you hate, change occurs spontaneously.' This reminded me of what I have been hearing from many folks since I was a teenager: ‘What we Resist, Persists’.

‘What we Resist, Persists’ is a principle which many have found to be true and useful, including myself. But I haven’t really understood WHY it is so? As I finish writing this sharing, I am finding that much of what I have written here seems to address this very issue: some of the reasons why judgment (competition), resistance, fear, hate, etc., directly block shift, change and healing from occurring in ourselves and others; and why letting go of these energies encourages healing and change, within and in the world.

Again: 
Hallelujah and Amen!


Peace, Love and Understanding, 
; ) w

is 'service' spirituality?

I participate in a 'spiritual list'. Currently there is a big conversation going on about the importance of ‘service’ in our spiritual life – here is what I posted:

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I completely hear you about the value of loving in palpable ways – in my tradition, love is defined through:

• reality (real on the physical, in ways that are real for the body)

• affinity (an experience of our actual spiritual oneness) and

• communication.

Love is not about concepts, thoughts, especially not about feelings, or sex!


I am in agreement that service and giving are fruits (end products) of our spiritually-focused life – although what service looks like may not Always live up to expectations.

Although I appreciate posts reminding us of the value of love/service/giving/etc as priorities in the spiritual life, I am not in agreement.

I used to believe in the centrality of these activities.

I no longer see them as spiritual behavior per se (in themselves)

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I see spiritual behavior as (non-exclusively, but fundamentally)

1) spiritually receiving information and energy from Gd.

2) being/doing in the direction of my true self, in alignment with Gd – both within my own system and in my interaction with the world.


I believe the Spiritual Masters did/do this.

I am on my path to do this and I encourage my students to do this.

Doing this is More than enough to fill my plate!


Sometimes it may look like serving the poor, or serving the rich, or serving myself…

Sometimes this may be on another continent, or in the wild places, or in the city, or in my own family (ug!)…

Sometimes it may look like a perfectly ‘normal’ life, or living as a hermit, or as a ‘star’, or as an impoverished wanderer…


An example, Jesus referenced in Luke 7 (YLT) different ways one can be led to live a dedicated spiritual life, and how this often jives (not!) with social/religious expectations (requirements!):

And the Lord said, 'To what, then, shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like? they are like to children, to those sitting in a market-place, and calling one to another, and saying, We piped to you, and ye did not dance, we mourned to you, and ye did not weep! 'For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and ye say, He hath a demon; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and ye say, Lo, a man, a glutton, and a wine drinker, a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners…

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I invest a good deal of my time with my students to assist them to see and release ‘nice pictures’ and ‘ethics’ as well as ‘religious programming’ – and other concepts/beliefs/attachments/energy of that ilk – the kinds of ‘pictures’ that encourage the love/service/giving/etc we are talking about.

From my perspective, these concepts serve us on the physical level – they help the body be comfortable with others, grease the wheels of society and political systems, etc

But, from my perspective, they do not serve us spiritually.

I will say again, IMO, as a rule: being Nice, following morals and ethics, as well as general religious information do not serve us spiritually.

From my perspective, it is our job as spirit to listen (spiritually hear, see, know, whatever) to the ‘still, small voice’ which says ‘this is the way, walk ye in it’


Sometimes the voice will say go left, sometimes right.

Sometimes we will be called to do/be what others (and ourselves) agree with (oh, you are so, wise, smart, loving, caring, giving, etc).

Sometimes disagree with (oh you are such a sinner, evil, rotten, selfish, etc)

Doesn’t matter.


Sure our bodies don’t usually like going against our social and religious programming.

But we take care of our bodies, love them, retrain them – they learn to enjoy and profit from going the way of Gd instead of the way of the world… by and large…

In the old days, following our spiritual information could get us dead, imprisoned, etc – and there are times and places it still can – but usually not.

Often it leads us to the dreaded Social Ostracizing – which Feels like potential death for many of us – and most of us try to avoid this like the plague!

(in my tradition we call these ‘death pictures’, they are very valid experiences in our space – and they can be seen and released… yes, there is a theme here ; )


Our spiritual freedom is a gift from Gd.

It is a gift that our society tries to steal (pretty much) every minute of every day.

It is a gift, IMO/E, I do best to re-own and hold onto with both hands – so I am free to be my unique self in the world, and to follow my unique spiritual path. In this way I best love and serve Gd and best love and serve my neighbor, as well best love and serve my self.

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In my tradition, On A Spiritual Level, we believe strongly in personal responsibility. Not as a punishment or competition - but as a gift! (free will, always, and again)

I Cannot do stuff for anyone else (helping them) on the spiritual level, although I can assist if they choose to do it themselves.

I Cannot heal anyone but myself (of course together with Gd, and the mighty spiritual forces I am aligned with), although I can assist if they choose to do it themselves.

(Trying to do these things For others is a great way for me to lose energy, health, joy, life… and make a very small difference in the world - > been there, got the T-shirt ; )


But, the up side is: the more I allow Gd to heal Me, the higher I allow my vibration to go, the more I learn to own my space, my path, my power, my spiritual abilities, my relationship with Gd and the many spiritual friends available… The more others around me do these same things for themselves.

I learn new tricks, it is easier for them to learn new tricks…

This is not just theory to me – I have watched it happen, over and over and over.

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I invested my 20’s working in non-profits. I have seen first hand so many examples of how ‘good’ is done with the right hand, while ‘evil’ is done with the left.

I have spent a lot of time with spiritual people and do-gooders (as I am one myself!) And it is interesting to watch our shadows playing in our ‘good works’ (we see it on this spiritual board with almost every post, except our own!)


One of my dearest and longest friends, as an example, is the most sweet, caring, giving, loving, spiritual people one would ever want to meet. She does many good works and makes my life and many lives around her So much better. And at the same time, she has a big streak of meanness/hate/cruelty running right down the middle. She doesn’t see it, most folks don’t see it – but it creeps out and does ‘evil’ – like the snap of a whip.

I am not bringing this up to judge my friend (and I have similar shadow stuff myself, of course!), but to point to the absolute necessity of allowing Gd to heal us, deeper and deeper. This is of primary importance before going out to ‘save the world’, IMO. Because if we don’t, the ‘good’ we mean to do, can sometimes (often?) come in a dung wrapper.

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If I am doing stuff, even obviously ‘good’ stuff, but I am doing it because I think it is a good idea, or the ethics I was trained in says it is a good idea, or I am compulsively trying to look or be good, or earn karma-points, etc (anything other than: Gd told me to do it, here, now).

Then there is a chance that my ‘helping’ could be hurting.

There is a very good chance that my ‘helping’ isn’t helping.

There is an almost definite chance that I am diverting time/energy from the unique contribution I could be making, that possibly only *I* could be making, that it is my blessed opportunity to be doing in the world right now.

I am missing that opportunity and the huge and multiplied effect that my service may have in the world for others…

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That’s enough
Random thoughts, quickly typed, full of holes
But meant to point in a direction, which I hope can be of service to some.
Thanks for ‘listening’.

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a further conversation about service and spirituality:
(questions in italics, my responses follow)


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Now whether you agree/disagree with what my premise is (service to others is true love manifestation) ... that’s an entirely different conversation and one that I would like to have.

Generally, and on an everyday level, I agree that there is a high correlation between what looks like ‘service’ and ‘true love manifestation’. But I believe sometimes ‘true love manifestation’ may sometimes not look like ‘service’ to some, maybe many.

Jesus cleared the temple, he verbally chewed up Pharisees and spit them out (and that is putting it very kindly), I believe this was ‘true love manifestation’. Does it look like service to you? Did it look like service to them?

Many times ‘true love manifestation’ looks to me like leaving someone alone. Not helping. This is a very hard thing to do. Does that look like service to you? Does it feel like service to them?
(Believe me I am a big ol’ healer / helper – please let me help! Leaving them alone is ‘service’ in my book ; )

IMO, it is best, on a spiritual level to un-collapse these two ideas, so I can be free of my concepts (baggage/compulsions) about what love is, and what service looks like. And therefore act in what (according to my spiritual information) seems to be a beneficial way.

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You are not in agreement that service/giving are priorities in a spiritual life. Do you mean that they are not "the" priority? Or do you mean that they aren't any priority whether it be a small or big one?

Thanks allowing me to clarify, from my perspective – service is the fruit, not the sunshine, water, dirt.

Service comes out of our spiritual life – it is the cart not the horse, imo.

AND, service may not even look like service to most folks, although often it will...

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I understand that we each go thru personal spiritual development and what’s true for me is not true for you (i.e. we are each on our own path).

Agreed.

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Some are messengers, some are teachers, some are masters, some are students ... and all of these individuals have great purpose.

Agreed

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But if we're talking about truly living in spirit ... being one with light ... having Christ consciousness ... reaching love manifestation ... what do you think the characteristics of such individuals are/have been?

I believe each Master has a very unique manifestation, focus and energies – as we each do.

And of course they share things in common.

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What are their priorities?

Oh, that is like a whole book, if I try to think about it…

I ask God and I see a picture that looks like: being one with the Light, like being in a waterfall of light, very bright – aligned with Source, as well as grounded in the physical world.

From my perspective, How that manifests on the physical, again, is completely unique, to each of them, and for each of us…


On a spiritual level, I see how it manifests; it spiritually looks like clouds, or waves, billowing out from the Master, in all directions (when the waterfall hits bottom it plumes out...). From my perspective, it is the energy billowing out that matters most, Not any particular way it looks on the physical…

On the physical - Peach trees make peaches, plum tress make plums. They just do it , no effort, no shoulds, no agenda, no try. It is like falling off a log – and there is fruit ; )

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Christ taught, he spoke, he did miracles. In teaching he filled the hearts of many. In speaking he brought hope to many. In performing miracles he was an example of breaking the shackles of this world to many. But it was in his actions with the poor, the sick, the helpless and the discarded ... did he show the many.

Jesus, from my perspective, did a whole lot of NONE of that for ~ 30 years.
Three decades is a Very Long Time.
He was Jesus the Christ and he did relatively nothing of note for ~10/11ths of his whole entire human life!

I believe out of (from, because of) his quiet, non-obviously miraculous/healing/serving/inspirational/freedom-producing/demon-casting/etc 30 years, he was ready for public ministry.
Before that, not-so-much…

He did his work, deepened in himself and in the Father, increased in Knowledge and Power, etc.
He was centered in who he was and what God had him to do. Then and only then did he go out to serve… as he was led/called to do, not just any ol' thing!

Even then, in the last ~ 3 years of his life, he was constantly moving away from the crowds. He consistently sought out the quiet, if he had to at night, to be with the Father, to do his spiritual work – or else he couldn’t have done what he did.

Great fruit. Amazing fruit. Fruit comes in its season, not before.

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That’s my opinion – thanks for asking!
; ) w