The perils of so-called 'Spiritual Romance'

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Many are hungering after a spiritual partner, to Really start living their 'spiritual life'. 

Someone to 

- eat Vegetarian with, 

- partner with in daily Meditation, 

- practice Releasing ego and fear continually & consciously together

... whatever the pictures are.

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It is always tempting to WAIT 

for Something, Someone, Sometime... 

- outside of here, now, with, 

- outside of myself 

to BE/ DO my ideal concepts.

Of course the answer is: 

Start NOW.

 

We can do these things individually, 

with groups of friends, 

and in conscious connection with all our relations. 

Why wait? 

Vegetarianism, daily meditation, practicing releasing ego and fear continually, et al, 

- who can argue? let's GO!
; )

Trying to add 'romantic love' (really dependency on any other person) to the mix 

is a recipe for disaster.

It stops me from my path. 

AND 

Truth is: I need to have my act together when that Romance wave hits 

- it Really upsets the applecart, 

- and I Really need to know Who I am and What I want, 

or it is easy to be Swept Away....

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Tying one's Relationship 

to expectation or demand of some list of beliefs, ways-of-being, practices (from self and other) 

make always-changing relationships between always-growing people, even harder than they already are!

But, as a conscious practice choice of one individual, 

who is already vibrating more and more in this way, 

who desires to attract another in a love dance...

 

With someone who hopefully will at least sometimes / often? 

be in alignment with these practices, knowing sometimes they may not!!!

; ) 

This seems a more obtainable and healthy path, to me.

We attract the vibration we are, after all. 

SO being the practice, 

seems the most likely path to attract someone in alignment with the practice, seems to me...

After that, what is Absolutely Necessary for them to be/do?

For me, I Require nothing discussed above, of Them. 

What about you?

: ) W

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Your Way through Darkness

You are spirit, you are precious to God and many others.
You are unstoppably on your path.
You are whole and complete, full of Light and Possibility.
Your conscious, palpable experience of this reality is growing.

You know these habits of thought and storehouses of feelings that plague you, 

are not you.

They are vestigial detritus,
the shadow that stands in the way of Light;
in the way of owning yourself, your body, your life, your world, and your amazing contribution in this reality.

You are so brave and tenacious in your healing, spiritual deepening, soul evolution;
especially as you engage in your cleansing process:

Allowing dark, ugly, heavy, viscous, vile energies/ pictures/ experiences/ identifications, habits...
- to rise from their shallow graves, as well as from from your core,
- to say hello to them, keeping your wisdom,
- to de-energize them - taking your power and efficacy back from them, and then
- to let them go: clearing them from your space forever: putting them to rest.

These dark energies and fixed way of being
have been the foundation you have been living your life upon.
But, as you move forward, your foundation is shifting.

Like Joshua, allow yourself to 

BE strong and courageous.

You are stopping being and identifying as a slave to anything and everything, inside or outside yourself.
You are stopping being and identifying as a wanderer: un-moored, impotent, disenfranchised, alien.
You are coming HOME, although you will need to Stand for it, OWN it.

You are continuing being and identifying as The Authority in your inner space: 
every step you take, owning back the land that is already yours.

You are learning and building muscle as you make war upon anything and everything that stands in your way.
Your ownership, your way, your truth, your light, your life, your reign, your dominion: 

inexorably, by any means necessary.

You are winning back your spiritual freedom, your free will, your greatest gift in this reality. 

Don Juan said:
The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior
is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge
while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.
― Carlos Castaneda

In your inner land:
Is IT happening to you, or are YOU happening to it?
This is the fundamental choice of your life, every moment.

This context is some of what supports me to keep moving
when I experience ambush 

by heavy, stuck, darkness.

Viktor Frankl pointed to this amazing truth for us humans:
we can bear any challenge, if we have meaning.

What is a big enough Truth
to hold you on your Way through darkness
until you break through to experience the reality of your Light and Life Abundant?

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The Healing Power of NO

My encouragement to a healer who can't say NO:

In my experience:

I learned NO, MINE, and BYE-BYE by the age of two 

- but I allowed myself to be socialized out of it.  

Yet, these are the energetic cornerstones of a well, whole, self-directed system: 

I must own these tools to be a well HEALER. 

Otherwise, soon I am a broken healer of no use to anyone, including myself 

... been there got the T-shirt! 

If I say NO, I make way for a bigger YES - for everyone involved. 

It helps me to TRUST Spirit, Self, Other, Life...

My compulsion to say Yes as a healer, 

tends to be a band-aid for my own experience of pain, brokenness and need, 

the 3 most likely suspects (some of the many HUGE temptations of a healer):

1) I want to focus on others healing instead of my own.

(But the secret is the more I face my self and allow myself to heal, 

the more I am a healing presence for others.)

2) I want them to love me and think I am great.

(But the secret is the more I am my real self, 

authentically shining and doing what is best for Me 

- the more I am authentically loved and appreciated by others... 

and they are inspired to live and love, and shine!)

3) I want to believe and/or I want them to believe I am SPECIAL: 

they Need ME - ha!

(But the secret is, their healing is between THEM and their bodies and Spirit... 

I am honored to assist when appropriate! 

They don't need Me, and it is beneficial for us both to keep that at the top of mind.)

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What is your experience?
Peace and Grace to you on your unique journey 

- Wendy
         

How to receive a Spiritual Reading

I just answered this question, so I thought I would share here:

What would you tell someone who was considering a Spiritual Reading?
I would tell them what I tell my readees, and my students:

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1)  When getting a reading, remembering your Free Will is key

Humans are infinitely creative!
We can keep going in the directions we have chosen in the past 

or we can change direction whenever we choose to. 

Each of us can learn and grow and heal and change - yee ha!

This can drastically alter our lives, energies, bodies, relationships, perceptions, abilities, etc. 

This has been my experience in my own life.
I have also had the privilege to watch so many others 

become more conscious of themselves as spirit and 

co-create a very different life for themselves than might have happened otherwise.

I say all this to underline why I believe in free will. 

There is a rumor going around that our free will is a gift from Spirit. 

Therefore, I suggest:

 - avoid advice 

(information is very useful, but you are an adult, you don't need to be told what to do!)

 - avoid predictions of your future 

(you choose your route, and you can shift your direction any time!)

 - basically, I am saying, avoid 'programming' 

('buying' and 'wearing' someone else's information, expectations, desires...

that do not fit you as well as your own)

This is not meant to hamper or discourage you in your questions 

or the value you will receive in a reading – just the opposite.

You can ask to look at any situation or choice that is before you 

and ask about what the energy is now – in the present - 

and the direction you are going.

This will support you to make your own choices 

and honor the gift of your own spiritual freedom.

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2) Getting a reading, can be a wonderful gift of an outside perspective, a spiritual perspective.

A reading is like what folks say about an accident at a cross-street, 

each person on a different corner, sees a different accident.

This is the gift of a reading 

- you are receiving a different perspective on yourself and your creations 

(your life, body, relationships, etc) 

that is outside your own usual consciousness. 

It can be like looking in a sacred mirror, 

getting a reflection of yourself from a different angle.
This is potentially an incredible blessing!

Optimally, your reader will give you a spiritual perspective 

- neutral, amused, validating, spiritually-focused -  

this can be a wonderful healing, encouragement and inspiration to learn and grow.

If you perceive your reading as primarily physically-focused:

emotional, judgmental, invalidating, blaming... 

I would suggest wiping your feet and walking away.

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3)  Getting a reading is like a Spaghetti fight  - what sticks to you, is yours ; )

It is useful to stay neutral and amused, present and open in your reading.
Keep only what validates you, and leave the rest.

Just like the rest of life, 

YOUR information and experience is central.
Stay senior in your own space, 

and avoid allowing yourself to be 'programed' by other's perspective.

If something the reader says doesn't jive with you, 

don't let yourself get Hooked:  

I recommend letting go of judging, resisting or invalidating the information and experience.
If something seems to not fit, if it feels wrong:  

you don't have to 'buy it', letting go of the tendency to Resist! 

– just let it go.

But, as a rule: take what is said and meditate on it 

- there are probably a lot of jewels in there for you.

Even things that don't initially seem true for you, 

there May be truth in it for you – 

So, if something is bugging you, niggling at you: 

I recommend letting it sit on 'the shelf' for a few days; 

then meditate on it, ask Spirit: what is the gift for me in this information?

I encourage you to let this perspective from outside yourself, 

hopefully a spiritual perspective, 

inform your life and your living.

But, most importantly, 

I urge you to continue to develop your own spiritual 'ears', 'eyes', 'knowing' etc 

- so you can continue to deepen as the authority in your own life, the driver of your own car (life).

YMMV,
Wendy

Clearing Trauma: it takes. Minute AND its Worth our Investment

I have had the dark blessing of a long and winding way 

with much opportunity to Clear Trauma, Abuse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, emotions, habits, addictions...

Deep wounding takes more than saying a few words to clear it. 

It takes turning the ship, not 're-arranging chairs on the Titanic' ; )

As I told a healer I worked with a while ago, 

"if it was easy for me to change and let this go, I would be healed and whole years ago."

Utilizing intention, along with meditation techniques, and wise and compassionate support, 

I have cleared a large percentage of my abuse pictures/energy and all that came with it.

As well as the 'bent-ness; that perpetuated into my adult life, and which I built my self and life upon. 

And I am still fully engaged in this process, and I will be for a long time. 

It takes courage and persistence. 

And for me, as with many, it got worse (as things came up and out to clear) before it got better.

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Healing and experiencing wholeness is available to us. 

When we clean up the mess, life can be a joy: easy and fun! 

We don't have to live with PTSD or any other brokenness, 

without hope of healing and restoration. 

And, yes, I had to change!

to begin identifying with myself as spirt, 

and not with my abuse and the brokenness that I experienced from that.

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Meanwhile, with extreme issues, it is not usually as easy as 'falling off a log.' 

I believe it is absolutely necessary to have powerful energy techniques; 

and wise, compassionate support for this process. 

For some, it is a very challenging path: 

it can feel like hell, or dying, or going completely loony, or all the above!

Wise and compassionate support is essential for many, for many reasons, including:
1) It is almost impossible to face some of the worst stuff alone.
2) It is important not to 'fall off the edge.'
3) It is necessary to deal with the tremendously temptation to want to run back to living with the terrible pain and brokenness, rather than pushing through the horror, to eventual experience of freedom and lightness and wholeness.

Enough for now, I am going out to play!

Yay for wounded healers: 

may we keep healing ourselves, so we can be Well and Happy; 

and from there we can effectively assist others!

-wendy

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How can our experience of being alive, shift?

With Soul Evolution:
What might we be able to do?
How can things be different?

The leap into a spiritually-focused life can change everything.

Our new capacities that we access and build upon, shift our lives dramatically for the better, inside and out.  

Along our unique spiritual path we find support, connection and the true fulfillment of our deepest calling.  

We become more conscious, effective agents of change in our lives and in the world.

When you access the outcomes below with ease and consistency, how could it change your world?


1.  Turn glimpses of possibility and clarity into lasting change and sustained momentum

One of the universal challenges on the path of spiritual development and personal growth is converting our insights into lasting results.  

Despite hard work, glimmers of tremendous potential, and deepening awareness 

- and even periods of significant progress - 

many of us are frustrated by our tendency to slide back into old patterns.

This waning of consistency and commitment is natural.  

But when we are able to access our soul, 

we discover resources that are enduring and powerful enough to sustain our practices, 

truly embody new possibilities, 

and move us to act on what really matters to us.

Imagine tapping into a source of inspiration that so powerfully transcends the drives of our habitual self, 

that we just can't go back to the way things have been. 

With a larger perspective, and expanded internal resources, 

we become what we access in our most inspired moments. 

The result: 

an active, new-found momentum in our spiritual practices, in our lives, and in our highest aspirations in the world.

2.  Create deeper, more authentic relationships, and find community with others who share our values and aspirations

Stepping up to meaningful change in the world 

and to pioneer a new way of being human is an exciting and enlivening prospect, 

but it can also feel lonely out on the leading edge. 

When we surround ourselves with others who share a commitment to Soul Evolution, 

we can more easily overcome social gravity.

That's where evolutionary partnership with kindred spirits becomes useful. 

We can access deeply connected friendships and partnerships that serve us, and others.  

As a Soul Evolutionaries, we can both give and receive in conscious collaboration.


3.  Discover a spiritual practice that is relevant to our modern world and can be lived 24/7

Many people's spiritual longings are scarcely fulfilled by a half-hour-a-day meditation practice, 

and we wonder how to live spiritually when life's demands don't allow for extended retreats and pilgrimages.

And although traditional paths and practices have helped humans all along, 

many of us are not deeply served by them.

Soul Evolution practices are relevant to the complexities and challenges of modern life 

- an engaged, holistic approach that turns everyday life into a spiritual practice, 24/7.  

We don't sequester ourselves to prepare for a later return to living.  

It's spiritual life - in action - NOW.

When we step into Soul Evolution Practices, conscious living is part of the practice 

- how we relate to our experiences, situations, and other people. 

The result is a practical, grounded spirituality that has impact on ourselves and the world 

- and a daily life infused with meaning and purpose.

4. Learn how to defuse our physical-focus and undermining habits

Our habit of physical-focus is an obstacle 

when we are choosing to live a spiritually-focused life: 

conscious, awakened, enlightened, free.

When these unproductive habits and instincts run the show unconsciously, 

nothing really works the way we sense it could 

- not in our lives or in our world.

What's more, many spiritual and psychological disciplines have taught us that 

our human nature is fixed and must be accepted, 

offering little hope for anything more than "small change."

But the discovery of the soul self changes all that, 

offering a path beyond old patterns and ways of being,  

a path that is more direct than most of us can imagine. 

By aligning with the pure and powerful part of ourselves, 

we bypass outmoded impulses. 

We liberate ourselves from the religious and social programming of our world.

The drives toward survival, emotionality, stasis, 'being right', avoidance of truth and commitment... 

loose their grip on our lives. 

They don't go away, but they cease to be compelling. 

The voice of limitation no longer captures our attention; 

the temptation to play the victim loses its charge. 

With ourselves as spirit in the driver's seat, 

we are free to take creative healthy risks, 

lean into positive change, 

face truths with less resistance, and 

allow the flourishing of our highest human potential. 

5. Live our highest aspirations, wisdom and callings, even when we don't feel like it

From the soul self, we experience an un-linking of the bondage 

between our thoughts & feelings, and our choices & actions. 

We discover the liberation of our capacity to consciously align our self with Higher Consciousness.

Instead of being thrown off-course by strong feelings, 

we are informed by them and we can keep our course.  

You can give up the notion that "I couldn't help it."   

Emotions such as fear don't have to be obstacles to internal freedom and external action. 

This doesn't mean suppressing our feelings.  

We can feel all our feelings deeply - even more so - 

with an expanding care for the whole;

and still see clearly in the face of them. 

And, we learn to read our feelings more accurately 

and obtain the wisdom and data they contain... 

without getting sidetracked by them.

The result:  Better choices, commitment, and a life of integrity and presence.

Emotional and intellectual freedom 

is one of the most liberating and powerful transformations of Soul Evolution.  

Spiritual freedom is key.

6. "Draft" on the momentum and energy of evolution

When we don't seem to be getting the results our spiritual practices were intended to deliver, 

many of us begin to doubt that the ideals we once set out to manifest are even possible.  

Unfortunately, much of contemporary spiritual thought supports this reduced vision, 

suggesting we "call off the search" and accept that this is as good as it gets.  

One of the pitfalls most people don't even realize they're stuck in 

is a context for our spiritual work that's simply too small. 

An unfortunate byproduct of our individualistic culture 

is that spiritual growth is often seen as being strictly personal 

- for our own fulfillment, happiness, and enlightenment.

Entire generation has thus been earnestly working on themselves 

chiefly to obtain happier, more peaceful lives 

- and wondering why this doesn't catalyze significant change.

What if the purpose of a spiritual path includes us, but doesn't end with us? 

In Soul Evolution, we connect with the role our own progress plays in the great game of Soul Evolution 

- the way that, as evolving beings in an evolving universe, we can participate in the advancement of humanity and Consciousness itself.  

Our healing and transformation effects those around us, and beyond.

7. Find the resilience, perspective and genuine optimism to face the biggest challenges confronting humanity today

The Spiritual perspective helps us understand and navigate our problems and challenges more accurately, 

and offers a vantage-point that is the ultimate antidote to cynicism: 

we realize that everything can and will change.

The practices of Soul Evolution infuse us 

with resilience, inspiration, creativity, and energy. 

With spirit leading the charge, 

we're tapped into the limitless, positive and unstoppable momentum of the cosmos itself. 

Rather than take on issues alone, as individuals or even as a community, 

we're fueled by something much larger.

We can also take heart in the fact that by developing ourselves, 

we are "being the change" 

and doing perhaps the most important work of all:

contributing to a cultural and energetic shift 

that may ultimately instigate more improvement than tackling any one issue on its own.

-------------------------------------------

These are a few of the ways in which our experience of being alive can shift 

when we step into what is an evolutionary relationship to life 

- the fundamental shift in our orientation that is generated 

when we awaken this deeper part of our self as spirit and take the reins.

When we are able to cultivate these very real capabilities, 

we find that our deepest hopes and dreams 

for a comfortable self and a better world weren't a pipe dream after all. 

We learn that we can evolve what it is to be human 

- not modestly, but radically - 

in a way that not only better serves our work, families and lives, 

but fulfills on the highest promise of humanity's potential.

Soul Evolution, take the next step.

The Power of Play

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I just read an article that I found encouraging: Play Power: How to Turn Around Our Creativity Crisis by Laura Seargeant Richardson

This is the crux of it, IMO:

Someday, rather than measuring memorization as an indicator of progress, we will measure our children's ability to manipulate (deconstruct and hack), morph (think flexibly and be tolerant of change), and move (think "with their hands" and play productively). Standardized aptitude tests will be replaced by our abilities to see (observe and imagine), sense (have empathy and intrinsic motivation), and stretch (think abstractly and systemically). We will advance our abilities to collaborate and create.

To reap the rewards of these abilities, we must set aside the myth that play and work are two separate things. Play should be our greatest work, as it is the biggest driver of innovation.

This quote reminded me of my niece Amy.

As soon as she learns a thing, she barely has the basics and she is already running out of the 'box' with it - building on it. I live across the country and don't see her often, but this aspect of her personality is very clear (and dear) to me.

For example: I sing a lot in daily life. There was a frog in the playground, so I was singing to Amy while playing on the swings: "I'm in love with a big blue frog, a big blue for loves me... " She'd heard the song a few times and the next time I saw her, she sang it with me, most of the words anyway... And Then she immediately started making up a new song, from her Mom's POV, about her mom's relationship with her partner: "I'm in love with a big, brown worm" with half the old words and half new words - telling me why each new part was delightfully relevant to her mom's unique, loving relationship. I was blown away: first by Amy's powers of observation and ability to 'stand in someone else's shoes.' And secondly, by her drive to start improvising; WELL Before she is done (IMO) learning the original...

Another example - I used to play 'car', and 'flying angel' and 'jumping devil' with my sister, Amy's mom, when we were little (I was 6 years older): with her riding on my knees and my feet and sailing and jumping around in the air. I have played this game with Amy a few times. And again, she is barely balanced and barely safe doing the usual 'moves' - and she is off and running: improvising new maneuvers: sideways, jumping off the side, coming on and off from the bed beside us (instead of the floor), and all kinds of unplanned, unanticipated (by me) antics. I work with her on communication and safety as best I can (I am old and broken so it challenges me, and she is only 6.5 years old and doesn't yet know She can be broken) so i try to find a happy medium that is relatively safe and relatively freedom-providing for both of us... and I am amazed: she comes up with a new thing, barely gets it (IMO) and is on to the next new thing - absolutely inspirational.

It amazes me how her play is SO original: so running for the 'edge' and right on past it into amazing creativity.

Reminds me of some of the adults I know (who also happen to be ADD-labeled) and what a joy it is to interact with them, because it is fun and because it helps me learn new 'tricks'. For example, my partner Michael loves to play with words, he is very lexy. And what I have found over the course of our relationship is that first my ability to Enjoy his word-play increased and, secondly, my ability to play with words Myself is increasing as well.

Awesome note to self: playing with those who play well, increases my own creativity. Even old dogs can learn new tricks as well as rediscover lost/squashed freedom and joy!

Meanwhile, I feel frustrated about the way our systems are designed to minimize movement as well as personal creativity. Many kids are not designed to sit inside, at desks, being socialized to be still and be 'good' all day. Some adults are not designed to sit at a desk, looking at a computer screen all day. Yet, for many of us, that is the drill.

How long is Amy going to keep accessing her mind-blowing creativity when she is constantly and consistently encouraged/rewarded to sit down, shut up and stay in the box most of the time? Particularly when she is actively punished, so often, when she breaks out of that box in creative self-expression, playfulness and movement of her body, as well as her mind and spirit. Honestly, I don't know how she has kept the freedom she has for so long. Bless her, unfortunately she is showing signs of wear - tightness and holding in her body, feeling like a square-peg in a round hole, acting-out. The pressures she is under from her teachers, peers and family to conform are enormous. Most everyone who cares about her is praying that she will 'get with the program' and conform; which is completely understandable given the world in which we live, but saddening.

I do what I can to support her to continually increase her internal senses, focus and self-discipline, so she can act in increasing accord with her enlightened self interest. This way she can play her own game more, and get played by the games around her less. I pray this for all the kids I love, for all of us...

Meanwhile, I am in good company to believe that the hope for playful creativity is stifled by our current social, educational, and even religious structures: every way we turn, conformity is the name of the game. Amy's creativity will continue to be undermined... AND by grace she will keep some potion of the playfulness and joy that she is, that she has.

And fortunately, each day, each of us has a chance to open, again, to the freedom that is our birthright, as well as the hope of each new generation. We adults have choices, paths ARE open to us now, even if they were closed to us in our youth. Today, let us be the play we wish to see in the world, as we can... WE can change the quality of our lives and our world.
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Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine

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I have Much experience with Dancing judgment - theirs, and mine.  

It still bothers me sometimes, but SO much less than the past.  

I am attracting a lot less resistance to my path the more I own it as MINE. 

I used to feel attacked a lot - embattled and un-loved because of it. 

I feel that way less and less, and folks’ behavior toward me is now  less and less attacking or judging.

I have played the role of a square peg in a round hole a lot in my life 

(Goddess-loving, Christian, Bisexual, Polyamorous, Psychic to name a few roles I play– a lot of things for myself and others to get hooked on…).  

So I have a lot of practice! 

I have found many strategies to handle this for myself.  

I cannot address them all, 

but I will name a few internal and external things I do that work for me.

And of course this is a work in progress, I am not nearly baked.  

But I am so much more comfortable now than I used to be 

- I used to suffer a lot around these issues - now only a little ; )

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Internal: This is the most important thing – always, IMO.
I use my meditation techniques ongoingly to do things like:

* let Gd heal me

* let go of my deep, sometimes semi-conscious internal resistance and judgment of myself for being who I am and doing what I am doing (internalized homophobia, etc)

* allow in attitudes and energy of neutrality, amusement, all the gifts of the spirit…

* consciously let go of competition and judgment of self and others (i.e. I let go of judging them for judging me), resistance to their and my way of being (i.e. I let go of attachment to them liking and admiring me).

* acknowledge that I have co-created my experience and consciously create with Spirit something I prefer.

* receive, receive, receive from Gd and other spiritual Masters & Guides, as well as from the Earth: the love, validation, experience of wholeness from the inside, what I am tempted to want from others on the outside!

* be what we call in my tradition 'body of glass': 

instead of blocking / protecting / resisting / attaching to energies that I do not want in my system; 

I allow Gd to clear my space so those energies pass right through me.  

The more I allow my space to clear, the less stuff sticks to me. 

What does stick or HOOK, that is where I can allow healing to shift me - so next time I am more clear.

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As I do these kinds of things internally, I am more comfortable and happy in my own space, folks are more easeful with me, and it makes it easier for others to shift to a clearer, lighter vibration in their own space, as well. 

I remember: what I resist, persists…

This changes MY internal experience. 

This changes the kinds of energies I attract, so my external experience changes as well. 

SO, what happens is I attract 

less of the kind of people who judge me, 

the people in my life judge me less, 

and when they do judge me it bothers me less. 

What does bother me, I allow Gd to heal, 

and the cycle starts over at even a higher level.

The most important part of this cycle is for me to let go of judging and trying to change the folks in my life 

and devote all that attention and energy to my relationship with Gd and my inner healing.
Again, I am still very much in process with this, but the results so far are quite stunning.

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External: really secondary, but helpful.

I allow the changes that I have found from using my meditation techniques to seep into my physical life to change my habits of thinking, feeling, acting and reacting.

This is quite a process.
Here are a few examples of some practices I use to shift my outer life:

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* I avoid giving advice.  

My best information comes from within, and I don’t change until I am ready 

– so I mean to stay out of the way and let others have their own journey as well.  

I want all to enjoy our own and honor each other’s spiritual freedom, free will. 

When folks ask me for advice, I try to stick to speaking from my own beliefs and experience, and when appropriate (like when I am reading or sometimes when teaching) saying what I see around their situation.  

My tradition believes we teach what we need to learn, 

and any advice I give is what I need to hear myself, so I take that to heart.  

When I am compelled to give advice, I notice that is a place I need healing.  

When others are compelled to give me advice, 

I notice that perhaps it is a place they need healing, and try not to take it personally ; )

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* I enjoy my curiosity about who folks are and why they believe what they believe. 

I already know what I believe and don’t necessarily need to hear myself say it over and over. 

But, if I am interested in getting to know someone else better, then I am interested in the how, when and what of their POV.

.
* I personally have found the perspective and tools on NVC: non-violent (or compassionate) communication to be extremely useful and of great service to me in my physical communication and relationships.

.
* If someone is my intimate, I speak in my own voice completely authentically and they love and validate me. 

Sometimes we need to work things out, conflict and misunderstandings – but the basis of who I am and what I am up to is Not under attack, for me this is what an intimate IS.  

For non-intimates, I do my best to ‘speak into their listening’.  

I remain truthful and myself, but I make an effort to communicate in ways, with words and concepts that match their world view. 

I find this helps bridge unnecessary gaps and find common ground on which we can build. 

.
* The more I let go of (non-intimate) people in my life understanding me, loving me, validating me, knowing me (I get these needs met elsewhere), 

the more I can relate to folks on the level that They feel comfortable. 

I do not have to share experiences, beliefs, myself in ways that people cannot interface with me in an enjoyable way (I polka with folks who can polka and waltz with folks who can waltz – I enjoy most 3 count dances, so what do I care? ; )

Instead of trying to get my needs met from someone who cannot meet them, or can not meet them comfortably, 

I interface with them where/how they can meet me – or avoid the encounter completely.

.
* Although I am very open, I do not tell every person every thing in my life.  

They don’t really want to know.  

If they ask and I believe they will be uncomfortable with the answer, 

I sometimes ask if they really want to know; 

if yes I will prolly choose to tell them. 

Or, sometimes I will divert the conversation, 

and if they care enough to bring questions up again, then I will prolly choose to tell them.  

It always remains my choice, and the consequences are mine as well. 

Many folks in my life do not really want to know about the things in my life that bring them discomfort.  

They have learned not to press too far in certain directions because they don’t really want to encounter conflict.   

I have found their discomfort with processing or their leaning toward peaceful-seeming encounters are usually greater than their desire to connect deeply with me. 

For folks who do press through and really want to know me, I honor them, even when we disagree. 

I share with them honestly for as long as they can be respectful toward me.  

When they lose their ability to relate as adult humans, I set boundaries and hope that soon we can connect authentically with joy.

.
So, that is a bit of what I do with the challenge of feeling judged. 

I hope something here assists you in your Journey.

In life, wendy

.

the Power of Acceptance

.

"

It's difficult to try to be what you are not. 

Being what you are doesn't require any effort. 

When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are, 

and the complete acceptance of yourself 

becomes the complete acceptance of everyone else.

"
- don Miguel Ruiz

some will say

"accepting unacceptable things about either oneself or the people you interact with is not always a good notion"

On the physical level, what you say makes sense, and many of us are trained to believe such things.

I have found it does not work. 

I have found that I can, and others can, tweak the outside, try harder for limited periods of time, etc. 

But I have found this method doesn't work for me on the inside, or in the long run, or for anything that is a Core issue for me.

.

From my experience:

Unless I can BE with what is 

Unless I can stop Resisting 

Nothing Changes 

IF I really do choose change, 

It serves me to let go, accept what IS. 

then 

Say 'hello' deep inside, and attend to that.

Allow the shifts to flower from within.

.

Some will say: 

"we are responsible for the people we become"

"Honesty in looking at ourselves and realizing that if we are less than we choose to be"

"it is within our power to become the best we can be"

"we are not "stuck" with ourselves" 

AMEN

The question is HOW? 

IN what Context?

Through what Process.

It is obvious that one can change the facade, paint the walls, and change the curtains easily enough. 

In my spiritual tradition, we find that Effort works on the physical, but not on the spiritual level. 

I have found to truly realign the foundation and change the structure of my being, it takes a New way of BEing.

Of course, many people don't believe we CAN realign the foundation and change the structure of our being, 

so the process of acceptance/non-judgment and ease/no-effort may seem superfluous 

- but I don't believe so...

.
Allowing Ease, not Effort
Finding Freedom from Judgment
What We Resist, Persists...

Is a fruitful journey.

For me, 

- Beating myself (and others) up for where I am. 

- Eschewing what is Real.

- Effort & Striving ... merely looking the part...

Works Not At ALL :)

Acceptance, etc 

actually Does Work, in my experience!

For myself and with others. 

Sometimes the mere release of my judgment and resistance 

and things miraculously shift. 

After all, I am HOLDING in place with my NO!

Some say:

Acceptance Produces Change.

It makes sense, because 

Acceptance removes One of the Forces in Play

after that, shift happens, finding a New Balance. 

So, I just get to keep practicing Acceptance 

- a Powerful blessing of: Truth and Miracles

Being with what IS. 

Releasing the judgment and resistance. 

Easier said than done - and the fruit is Delicious!

: )Wendy 

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The only choice we get is what to worship

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This is the quote that led me on this journey:

...in the day-to-day trenches of adult life,
there is actually no such thing as atheism.
There is no such thing as not worshiping.
Everybody worships.
The only choice we get is what to worship.
-David Foster Wallace.

I recommend the entire speech, here:
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE's commencement address, Kenyon College, 2005.

Here are some excerpts:

The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way...

and:

As I'm sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotised by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now). Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about "the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master"...

lastly:

If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.

Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it.

This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship--be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles--is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.

They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.

And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the centre of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving.... The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death.

It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over...

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now.

I wish you way more than luck.

This path is spiritual, not religious

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I found this to be a wonderful essay from Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche. It was posted on Huffington Post, August 6, 2010.
This is written to Buddhist practitioners, but i believe it has more universal usefulness. I bolded a couple sentences which I found especially exciting...

Is Buddhism a Religion?

We often talk about Siddhartha, the young man who became known as the Buddha, as if he were a god. The fact is that he was just a simple Indian guy, a human being like you and me. We think of him as some kind of super-genius for having attained complete spiritual awakening, but in fact his real genius was in showing how any one of us can attain the same awakening as he did. We describe him as a prince and a member of the elite royalty of his time, and we think that must have given him an advantage over us — but the reality is that most of us today are probably better off, in material terms, than Siddhartha was.

We talk about his kingdom and so forth, but what the prince Siddhartha had was really no more than what you might find in any middle-class American household. He might have had more wives, but you’ve got more gadgets, more technologies and comforts and conveniences. Siddhartha didn’t have a refrigerator, and you do. He didn’t have WiFi, or a blog, or Facebook or Twitter. He might have had more houses and land, but you’ve got a more comfortable bed than he had. Maybe you even have one of those new, space-age Tempur-Pedic beds. Think of how much time you spend in bed, and how important your bed is. I guarantee that Siddhartha had a worse bed than you have.

The point is, we shouldn’t mythologize Siddhartha’s life and think that his spiritual awakening was due to his special circumstances. Most of us today actually live in conditions very similar to Siddhartha’s, in terms of our material situation.

Siddhartha was a truth seeker, nothing more. He wasn’t looking for religion, as such — he wasn’t particularly interested in religion. He was searching for the truth. He was looking for a genuine path to freedom from suffering. Aren’t all of us searching for the same thing? If we look at the life of Siddhartha, we can see that he found the truth and freedom he was seeking only after he abandoned religious practices. Isn’t that significant? The one who became the Buddha, the “Awakened One,” didn’t find enlightenment through religion — he found it when he began to leave religion behind.

The Lure of Religious Trappings

A lot of people prefer to think of Buddhism as a religion. It’s easy to see why, when Buddhism abounds with religious trappings: the rituals and the chants and the golden statues sitting on the shrine. Buddha himself never wanted to be deified in any kind of icons; at the beginning, he told his students no icons, no worshiping. But it’s said that he had a very devoted student who kept pestering him, requesting his permission to make a statue of him, until finally the Buddha gave up and allowed the first image to be made. And now we have all these elaborate golden icons that look like they were dug out of an Egyptian pyramid. It’s nice to have these reminders, but we must remember that’s what they are: reminders of something, an example to be followed, not idols to be worshiped.

If our goal is to turn Buddhism into a religion, that’s fine — in America we have freedom of speech and the Bill of Rights. We can make Buddhism into a religion, or a branch of psychology, or a self-help program, or whatever we want. But if we’re looking for enlightenment, we won’t find it through relating to the Buddha as a religious idol. Like Siddhartha, we’ll find real spiritual awakening only when we begin to leave behind our fixed ideas about religious practice. Seeing the Buddha as an example and following his example — recreating, in our own lives, his pursuit of truth, his courage and his open mind — that’s the real power of Buddhism beyond religion.

Truth Has No Religion

Siddhartha actually became the Buddha through his failure at religion. He saw that the ascetic practices he’d been engaged in were not leading him to true liberation, and so he left them behind. But he had five colleagues who continued their religious practices of asceticism, and they regarded Siddhartha as a failure. From their point of view, he just couldn’t hack it, and that’s why he gave up. Later, after he attained enlightenment and became known as the Buddha, they became his first five disciples; but at the time when he left behind their religious program, they regarded him as a failure. I find that very encouraging. As spiritual practitioners, we should be open to being a failure. We can take heart in the fact that Siddhartha found enlightenment not through his great success at religious practices, but through his failures.

As Buddhists, Siddhartha’s example is the most important one for us to follow. He was a great explorer of mind and its limits. He was open-minded, seeking truth, with no preconceived agenda. He thought, “Okay, I’ll do these religious practices and see if I can find the truth that way.” He did the practices, he didn’t find the truth, and so he left the religion. Like Siddhartha, if we really want spiritual enlightenment we have to go beyond religiosity. We have to let go of clinging to preconceived religious forms and ideas and practices.

Religion, if we don’t relate to it skillfully, can trap us in another set of rules. On top of all the ordinary rules we are already stuck with in this world, we pile on a second set of religious rules. I’m not saying there is anything bad about religion or rules, but you should be clear about what you’re seeking. Do you want religion and a set of rules to follow, or do you want truth? Truth has no religion, no culture, no language, no head or tail. As Gandhi said, “God has no religion.” The truth is just the truth.

If you are interested in “meeting the Buddha” and following his example, then you should realize that the path the Buddha taught is primarily a study of your own mind and a system for training your mind. This path is spiritual, not religious. Its goal is self-knowledge, not salvation; freedom, not heaven. And it is deeply personal. Without your curiosity and questions and your open mind, there is no spiritual path, no journey to be taken, even if you adopt all the forms of the tradition.

Divine Love

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A GOLDEN COMPASS, Hafiz: 

Forget every idea of right and wrong 

Any classroom ever taught you 

Because An empty heart, a tormented mind, Unkindness, jealousy and fear 

Are always the testimony 

You have been completely fooled! 

Turn your back on those 

Who would imprison your wondrous spirit 

With deceit and lies. 

Come, join the honest company Of the King's beggars – 

Those gamblers, scoundrels and divine clowns 

And those astonishing fair courtesans 

Who need Divine Love every night. 

Come, join the courageous 

Who have no choice 

But to bet their entire world 

That indeed, Indeed, God is Real. 

I will lead you into the Circle Of the Beloved's cunning thieves, 

Those playful royal rogues 

– The ones you can trust for true guidance – 

Who can aid you In this Blessed Calamity of life. 

Hafiz, Look at the Perfect One At the Circle's Center: 

He Spins and Whirls like a Golden Compass, 

Beyond all that is Rational, 

To show this dear world 

That Everything, Everything in Existence 

Does point to God.

is 'service' spirituality?

I participate in a 'spiritual list'. Currently there is a big conversation going on about the importance of ‘service’ in our spiritual life – here is what I posted:

*******

I completely hear you about the value of loving in palpable ways – in my tradition, love is defined through:

• reality (real on the physical, in ways that are real for the body)

• affinity (an experience of our actual spiritual oneness) and

• communication.

Love is not about concepts, thoughts, especially not about feelings, or sex!


I am in agreement that service and giving are fruits (end products) of our spiritually-focused life – although what service looks like may not Always live up to expectations.

Although I appreciate posts reminding us of the value of love/service/giving/etc as priorities in the spiritual life, I am not in agreement.

I used to believe in the centrality of these activities.

I no longer see them as spiritual behavior per se (in themselves)

*

I see spiritual behavior as (non-exclusively, but fundamentally)

1) spiritually receiving information and energy from Gd.

2) being/doing in the direction of my true self, in alignment with Gd – both within my own system and in my interaction with the world.


I believe the Spiritual Masters did/do this.

I am on my path to do this and I encourage my students to do this.

Doing this is More than enough to fill my plate!


Sometimes it may look like serving the poor, or serving the rich, or serving myself…

Sometimes this may be on another continent, or in the wild places, or in the city, or in my own family (ug!)…

Sometimes it may look like a perfectly ‘normal’ life, or living as a hermit, or as a ‘star’, or as an impoverished wanderer…


An example, Jesus referenced in Luke 7 (YLT) different ways one can be led to live a dedicated spiritual life, and how this often jives (not!) with social/religious expectations (requirements!):

And the Lord said, 'To what, then, shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like? they are like to children, to those sitting in a market-place, and calling one to another, and saying, We piped to you, and ye did not dance, we mourned to you, and ye did not weep! 'For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and ye say, He hath a demon; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and ye say, Lo, a man, a glutton, and a wine drinker, a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners…

*

I invest a good deal of my time with my students to assist them to see and release ‘nice pictures’ and ‘ethics’ as well as ‘religious programming’ – and other concepts/beliefs/attachments/energy of that ilk – the kinds of ‘pictures’ that encourage the love/service/giving/etc we are talking about.

From my perspective, these concepts serve us on the physical level – they help the body be comfortable with others, grease the wheels of society and political systems, etc

But, from my perspective, they do not serve us spiritually.

I will say again, IMO, as a rule: being Nice, following morals and ethics, as well as general religious information do not serve us spiritually.

From my perspective, it is our job as spirit to listen (spiritually hear, see, know, whatever) to the ‘still, small voice’ which says ‘this is the way, walk ye in it’


Sometimes the voice will say go left, sometimes right.

Sometimes we will be called to do/be what others (and ourselves) agree with (oh, you are so, wise, smart, loving, caring, giving, etc).

Sometimes disagree with (oh you are such a sinner, evil, rotten, selfish, etc)

Doesn’t matter.


Sure our bodies don’t usually like going against our social and religious programming.

But we take care of our bodies, love them, retrain them – they learn to enjoy and profit from going the way of Gd instead of the way of the world… by and large…

In the old days, following our spiritual information could get us dead, imprisoned, etc – and there are times and places it still can – but usually not.

Often it leads us to the dreaded Social Ostracizing – which Feels like potential death for many of us – and most of us try to avoid this like the plague!

(in my tradition we call these ‘death pictures’, they are very valid experiences in our space – and they can be seen and released… yes, there is a theme here ; )


Our spiritual freedom is a gift from Gd.

It is a gift that our society tries to steal (pretty much) every minute of every day.

It is a gift, IMO/E, I do best to re-own and hold onto with both hands – so I am free to be my unique self in the world, and to follow my unique spiritual path. In this way I best love and serve Gd and best love and serve my neighbor, as well best love and serve my self.

*

In my tradition, On A Spiritual Level, we believe strongly in personal responsibility. Not as a punishment or competition - but as a gift! (free will, always, and again)

I Cannot do stuff for anyone else (helping them) on the spiritual level, although I can assist if they choose to do it themselves.

I Cannot heal anyone but myself (of course together with Gd, and the mighty spiritual forces I am aligned with), although I can assist if they choose to do it themselves.

(Trying to do these things For others is a great way for me to lose energy, health, joy, life… and make a very small difference in the world - > been there, got the T-shirt ; )


But, the up side is: the more I allow Gd to heal Me, the higher I allow my vibration to go, the more I learn to own my space, my path, my power, my spiritual abilities, my relationship with Gd and the many spiritual friends available… The more others around me do these same things for themselves.

I learn new tricks, it is easier for them to learn new tricks…

This is not just theory to me – I have watched it happen, over and over and over.

*

I invested my 20’s working in non-profits. I have seen first hand so many examples of how ‘good’ is done with the right hand, while ‘evil’ is done with the left.

I have spent a lot of time with spiritual people and do-gooders (as I am one myself!) And it is interesting to watch our shadows playing in our ‘good works’ (we see it on this spiritual board with almost every post, except our own!)


One of my dearest and longest friends, as an example, is the most sweet, caring, giving, loving, spiritual people one would ever want to meet. She does many good works and makes my life and many lives around her So much better. And at the same time, she has a big streak of meanness/hate/cruelty running right down the middle. She doesn’t see it, most folks don’t see it – but it creeps out and does ‘evil’ – like the snap of a whip.

I am not bringing this up to judge my friend (and I have similar shadow stuff myself, of course!), but to point to the absolute necessity of allowing Gd to heal us, deeper and deeper. This is of primary importance before going out to ‘save the world’, IMO. Because if we don’t, the ‘good’ we mean to do, can sometimes (often?) come in a dung wrapper.

*

If I am doing stuff, even obviously ‘good’ stuff, but I am doing it because I think it is a good idea, or the ethics I was trained in says it is a good idea, or I am compulsively trying to look or be good, or earn karma-points, etc (anything other than: Gd told me to do it, here, now).

Then there is a chance that my ‘helping’ could be hurting.

There is a very good chance that my ‘helping’ isn’t helping.

There is an almost definite chance that I am diverting time/energy from the unique contribution I could be making, that possibly only *I* could be making, that it is my blessed opportunity to be doing in the world right now.

I am missing that opportunity and the huge and multiplied effect that my service may have in the world for others…

*

That’s enough
Random thoughts, quickly typed, full of holes
But meant to point in a direction, which I hope can be of service to some.
Thanks for ‘listening’.

**********************

a further conversation about service and spirituality:
(questions in italics, my responses follow)


*

Now whether you agree/disagree with what my premise is (service to others is true love manifestation) ... that’s an entirely different conversation and one that I would like to have.

Generally, and on an everyday level, I agree that there is a high correlation between what looks like ‘service’ and ‘true love manifestation’. But I believe sometimes ‘true love manifestation’ may sometimes not look like ‘service’ to some, maybe many.

Jesus cleared the temple, he verbally chewed up Pharisees and spit them out (and that is putting it very kindly), I believe this was ‘true love manifestation’. Does it look like service to you? Did it look like service to them?

Many times ‘true love manifestation’ looks to me like leaving someone alone. Not helping. This is a very hard thing to do. Does that look like service to you? Does it feel like service to them?
(Believe me I am a big ol’ healer / helper – please let me help! Leaving them alone is ‘service’ in my book ; )

IMO, it is best, on a spiritual level to un-collapse these two ideas, so I can be free of my concepts (baggage/compulsions) about what love is, and what service looks like. And therefore act in what (according to my spiritual information) seems to be a beneficial way.

*

You are not in agreement that service/giving are priorities in a spiritual life. Do you mean that they are not "the" priority? Or do you mean that they aren't any priority whether it be a small or big one?

Thanks allowing me to clarify, from my perspective – service is the fruit, not the sunshine, water, dirt.

Service comes out of our spiritual life – it is the cart not the horse, imo.

AND, service may not even look like service to most folks, although often it will...

*

I understand that we each go thru personal spiritual development and what’s true for me is not true for you (i.e. we are each on our own path).

Agreed.

*
Some are messengers, some are teachers, some are masters, some are students ... and all of these individuals have great purpose.

Agreed

*

But if we're talking about truly living in spirit ... being one with light ... having Christ consciousness ... reaching love manifestation ... what do you think the characteristics of such individuals are/have been?

I believe each Master has a very unique manifestation, focus and energies – as we each do.

And of course they share things in common.

*

What are their priorities?

Oh, that is like a whole book, if I try to think about it…

I ask God and I see a picture that looks like: being one with the Light, like being in a waterfall of light, very bright – aligned with Source, as well as grounded in the physical world.

From my perspective, How that manifests on the physical, again, is completely unique, to each of them, and for each of us…


On a spiritual level, I see how it manifests; it spiritually looks like clouds, or waves, billowing out from the Master, in all directions (when the waterfall hits bottom it plumes out...). From my perspective, it is the energy billowing out that matters most, Not any particular way it looks on the physical…

On the physical - Peach trees make peaches, plum tress make plums. They just do it , no effort, no shoulds, no agenda, no try. It is like falling off a log – and there is fruit ; )

*

Christ taught, he spoke, he did miracles. In teaching he filled the hearts of many. In speaking he brought hope to many. In performing miracles he was an example of breaking the shackles of this world to many. But it was in his actions with the poor, the sick, the helpless and the discarded ... did he show the many.

Jesus, from my perspective, did a whole lot of NONE of that for ~ 30 years.
Three decades is a Very Long Time.
He was Jesus the Christ and he did relatively nothing of note for ~10/11ths of his whole entire human life!

I believe out of (from, because of) his quiet, non-obviously miraculous/healing/serving/inspirational/freedom-producing/demon-casting/etc 30 years, he was ready for public ministry.
Before that, not-so-much…

He did his work, deepened in himself and in the Father, increased in Knowledge and Power, etc.
He was centered in who he was and what God had him to do. Then and only then did he go out to serve… as he was led/called to do, not just any ol' thing!

Even then, in the last ~ 3 years of his life, he was constantly moving away from the crowds. He consistently sought out the quiet, if he had to at night, to be with the Father, to do his spiritual work – or else he couldn’t have done what he did.

Great fruit. Amazing fruit. Fruit comes in its season, not before.

*

That’s my opinion – thanks for asking!
; ) w

My Ordination Speech

.
Hi Friends,

Yesterday I enjoyed another ordination day at CDM. I couldn't believe it has been 6 months since I was up there on stage. Last Spring, I was chosen to speak for my class on Ordination day (after 2 year Clairvoyant training program) and I did it kicking and screaming - but in the end it was a healing and a blessing. I had wanted to share my speech, as a way to give a glimpse of why I am out here in Seattle and how I am investing my life these days. But, my life has been pretty intense since May, mostly for personal/relational reasons, so I didn't get a round tuit.

But, I feel inspired to share it now. The speech is below, if you are interested. I use a lot of lingo, because most everyone I was speaking to uses it - but most of what I say is generally understandable, I think. It was more animated, fun and interesting in person and in context of the whole ceremony - but, hey it is what it is ; )

Since I finished Seminary, I had several weeks off from official training at CDM, then I started the Teaching program in mid-August - where I am continuing my growth and healing, learning to present spiritual information and energetic techniques with neutrality, compassion and amusement, and assistant teaching our basic mediation and healing classes. I expect to be certified to teach our 4 basic classes this June or next January - depending on my work schedule and such - it is usually a 14 month program ; )

Enjoyable blessings in the New Year!
In life, Wendy


Wendy's Ordination Speech for June 26, 2005


Spiritual Freedom

I have been asked to say a few words about being a CDM minister.

Now, defining what it is to be a CDM minister doesn't seem to be a simple thing, so let me start with what it is not. A teacher (Dr Bruce Morgan) who influenced me a lot before coming to CDM, used to say that "Most churches want to make us into cookie-cutter-Christians, who all look alike, talk alike, act alike, and if they have to cut off your arms and legs to fit in the mold - so be it"

Well, thank Gd, here at CDM we are committed to spiritual freedom - I've kind of become attached to my arms and legs, thank you very much. We don't always do it perfectly, but spiritual freedom is our stated goal and direction as a community and individually. This is a huge and wonderful, and usually challenging goal. But the rewards are sweet.

But this made it a challenge for me when asked to say a few words about what it is to be a CDM minister. We are all so different, unique - and that IS the point. So what is it to be a CDM minister?

This was annoying for my analyzer, I will tell you. But, eventually I had to look at the question as spirit - foreign concept, I know. And this is what I noticed about CDM ministers.

We are Spirit

We have a profound experience of ourselves as spirit and others as spirit over an extended period of time. An experience of being responsible for owning and managing our own energy systems, an experience of our connection with the Gd of our heart, an experience of consciously co-creating in our own lives - and watching others do the same.

We actively participate in a process - over an extended period of time - in which we receive all kinds of information and support and modeling and then the opportunity to practice, practice, practice.

Reading

One of the main practices is doing psychic readings.

Now, I did not come to CDM to become a psychic reader - I came to heal.
But, I knew the CDM Clairvoyant program was where I needed to do that - so, I did readings.

I will tell you plainly that I hated it - I really hated it.
I had so much invalidation and doubt and self-judgment and perfect pictures, etc in my space that it was a real drag. I couldn't stand attention - any attention - I was not ok, how I looked was not ok, what I did was not ok. Reading felt like being put in the spotlight - I had to start saying what I saw. How could what I had to say have any value for people? Not fun for Wendy, I'll tell you.

And although, over time, I cleared (and continue to clear) the pain and programming, the invalidation and doubt, the competition and lack of seniority in my own space, the resistance and many other things that made reading so challenging for me, it remained a challenge until almost the end
of the program. People would say, oh you are a great reader, and believe me it helped - but I really didn't believe it. And over time, the joy and energy and healing, the giving and receiving I experienced in readings started to slowly become larger than all the discomfort.

It was sometime the beginning of this year that I started looking forward to reading. For other people I understand this happens A LOT sooner, but it wasn't until my final quarter - almost 2 years into the program - that I really WANTED to read. NOW I understand why people come here to read WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO.

Reading is magic. I walk in an ordinary person and get to participate in a sacred dance - in which everyone there is validated and healed - everyone walks out changed. It is an incredible experience - some readings are more exciting or mundane, confronting or fun than others - but it is an incredible gift to be a part of them now.

And now I love doing student readings, I especially love being a center chair. This is funny because I was so afraid to be center chair - I felt like it was too much responsibility, I wasn't powerful enough or good enough to do it. Every step along the way I fought and resisted - I assumed everything would keep getting harder - who needed that aggravation?

But, now I can tell you it is an honor and a blessing to be center chair. I really enjoy having seniority in the room, making sure it is safe and high energy for everyone. Knowing more and more what is going on in that room and with everyone in it, and increasingly owning my power in a way that makes a positive difference there. I love playing and learning and healing with my side chairs, and enjoying their process and progress along with my own. I won't say I never get nervous or self-conscious anymore, but it is no longer my primary experience - in readings, or in my life.
That's huge.

Practice

So, as CDM ministers, we have the incredible opportunity to look at hundreds of different people over an extended period of time, to validate them as spirit, validate their co-creations and assist them change. We get to see the uniqueness of each spirit and the journey we are each choosing. We also get to see how many things we have in common as humans together on this planet.

As CDM ministers we have the experience of owning healing and change for ourselves and assisting many, many others in their healing journeys, over an extended period of time. We get to practice having our own space while we assist others healing.

When people become black belts or pilots or massage therapists, they have a lot of information and a lot of experience - this is a great accomplishment and some see them as having arrived. But the masters know, they are being validated for mastering the basics and they are getting a license to
continue learning - an opportunity to go out and practice.

Becoming a CDM minister seems similar. We receive an over-abundance of information, support, modeling and a whole lot of opportunity to practice.  We do this over an extended period of time - until it changes our habits, our abilities, our way of seeing and interacting with the world. For
myself, I can say "I am Spirit - a part of Gd, I have a body and I have co-creations in the world" and believe it and act in accordance with that, more and more.

So, as CDM ministers we have been changed over time. We become ministers and enter the next phase of our spiritual journey, like so many before us.  And, every day, every moment we have the choice whether or not to consciously manifest as spirit in the world - as does everyone. That is the whole game. We manifest as spirit in the world. By doing this, we change, the world changes. That is what it means to me to be a CDM minister. Maybe it is simple after all.

Personal Healing

To be more personal, there was some personal healing I absolutely needed in my life. I looked high and low, all over the country for a place to heal myself. When I finally found CDM, it felt like home.  There were 5 things I consciously wanted out of my Seminary experience. There isn't enough time to tell you about these things in depth, but I did want to validate - and I got them and so much more:
* I wanted personal healing, on all levels;
* I wanted to become a healer with good boundaries;
* I wanted to learn to own my own power in a positive way;
* I wanted to receive validation and learn to self-validate;
* and I wanted to increase my havingness and learn to consciously co-create good things in my life.

I have received these things and, of course it is a P word - a process, but the process is in motion and I am proud of the progress.

Being an Adult

Besides the 5 things I consciously wanted out of my seminary experience, I have received so many other gifts and insights and growth and change - I can't begin to tell you.

I can say that for me, going through this program has been about becoming an adult:
* Being able to stand on my own two feet,
* To own my own space and my own reality,
* To appreciate this great body I have and this amazing opportunity for life on this planet,
* to own the life I have co-created and know that I have the opportunity to co-create my future as spirit.

I now have a way of seeing and understanding my life and the world that works for me. This is huge. I have a useful place to stand, to know who I am and what is important in this world is something I always wanted and needed - but never found for any significant period of time. I made myself
miserable in my early life yearning for and searching for the meaning of life and how best to live it. I lived with this lack of useful, cogent world-view for a long time and then learned to live without it. But now, my life makes sense, the world makes sense, my experiences make sense. I have a very firm rock on which to build my life, this is a great comfort and joy.

I wish similar gifts for anyone who wants them, I highly recommend CDM as a path to Center.

Thanks for all the Fish

And so it is with profound gratefulness that I stand before you today as a member of the Church of Divine Man.

On behalf of myself and all the seminary students I would like to thank the board, the staff, the members, and everyone who walks through the door, for everything we have had the opportunity to give and receive here.

I would like to thank my fellow students, past and present, for who you are, and who you are to me, and who you let me be for you.

I would like to thank my partner, my friends and my family for who you are and your love and support of me above and beyond the call of duty.

I would like to thank Gd, as well as myself, for showing up and playing the game.
Blessed Be.