The perils of so-called 'Spiritual Romance'

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Many are hungering after a spiritual partner, to Really start living their 'spiritual life'. 

Someone to 

- eat Vegetarian with, 

- partner with in daily Meditation, 

- practice Releasing ego and fear continually & consciously together

... whatever the pictures are.

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It is always tempting to WAIT 

for Something, Someone, Sometime... 

- outside of here, now, with, 

- outside of myself 

to BE/ DO my ideal concepts.

Of course the answer is: 

Start NOW.

 

We can do these things individually, 

with groups of friends, 

and in conscious connection with all our relations. 

Why wait? 

Vegetarianism, daily meditation, practicing releasing ego and fear continually, et al, 

- who can argue? let's GO!
; )

Trying to add 'romantic love' (really dependency on any other person) to the mix 

is a recipe for disaster.

It stops me from my path. 

AND 

Truth is: I need to have my act together when that Romance wave hits 

- it Really upsets the applecart, 

- and I Really need to know Who I am and What I want, 

or it is easy to be Swept Away....

.
Tying one's Relationship 

to expectation or demand of some list of beliefs, ways-of-being, practices (from self and other) 

make always-changing relationships between always-growing people, even harder than they already are!

But, as a conscious practice choice of one individual, 

who is already vibrating more and more in this way, 

who desires to attract another in a love dance...

 

With someone who hopefully will at least sometimes / often? 

be in alignment with these practices, knowing sometimes they may not!!!

; ) 

This seems a more obtainable and healthy path, to me.

We attract the vibration we are, after all. 

SO being the practice, 

seems the most likely path to attract someone in alignment with the practice, seems to me...

After that, what is Absolutely Necessary for them to be/do?

For me, I Require nothing discussed above, of Them. 

What about you?

: ) W

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Heal Grow Shine: Shifted Blog & Website

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I am writing here these days: 

Heal Grow Shine: BE Your Potential

and then here: BLOOM

And this is my current website: 

BLOOM: Bring Out the Gift In You

Please come visit!

Best to you on your unique journey!
Wendy

Warrior or Victim, choose

Don Juan said:
The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior
is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge
while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.
― Carlos Castaneda

 .     For a long time I misunderstood this quote.

I thought he meant that I had to Fight everything.
I knew this was not the Way for me.
I also really appreciate perceived blessings ; )

 .     Then I resisted this teaching.

I wasn't ready to take on my life as a creator.
I believed: patiently letting life hit me as blessing and a curse was a noble thing.

I let my habit of just letting life happen to me 

- 'putting up with' people, places and things rolling over me - 

continue unexamined.

 .     Now, I appreciate this way of looking at my life, a lot.

Don Juan puts his finger right on the working edge of my expereince.

What I hear now is: Warrior or Victim, choose.
I feel encouraged to stay on this bucking-bronco that is my reality...
and when I get thrown off, to get back on.

Life is not Happening to me. 
As the co-creator of my reality:
I am happening to Life!

What is your relationship with this world-view?
- Wendy 

In relationships, there will be tears... this is par for the course

I like to say,
once in a relationship, there will almost definitely be tears:
at least one person, leaves or dies, and at least one person cries.

I don't mean to be whiny, here,
actually the opposite:
I mean to put the whining to rest.

All things in life ebb and flow,
this is the natural course of things and
there is No fighting it, in the long run.

When we play the game of Love,
we are in-for a Wild Ride!

I like to say with children,
loving them is like having pieces of our heart dancing out there in the world, without us.
Anything can happen to them, and we live the consequences!

I say this about kids, because it is SO damn obvious,
but really, this is how it is with all our relations...

.
This is just the game;
pain and loss are part of the game...
if we don't like it we shouldn't play.

.
This is how I deal with all my relations:
I know when I engage in a relationship, my heart will break open;
the more I invest, the more it will break open... in ways I enjoy and in ways that I don't.

I always like to look at the worst-case scenario,
it helps me choose, it helps me plan, it helps me consider the risk-reward...
maybe you are different, and you don't like this way of looking at relationships, that's cool.

But, this frame helps me.
It has me remember that my precious little heart, 

my precious little heart-breaks, 

my precious little feels-like-all-the-walls-of-my-life-are-all-falling-down...

this is not Sooo Special, 

but, my particular loss and pain is not Sooo Special.

It is just the game that we are All in... 

how we play it matters a lot, 

but it is still the only game in town.

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Some like to use the lever:
"I have been hurt before, 

so you have to accommodate me; 

my pain gets to run the show."

This is BS, IMO.
Everyone has been hurt before, 

no one's pain gets to run the show.

Within ourselves, and in our relationships, 

optimally, we live in freedom and joy:
our pain doesn't get to run the show.

Of course, a lot of times our pain does run the show,
THAT is what healing is For ; )

That's my opinion, YMMV,
Wendy

Too Much Spirituality?

In response to the question:

CAN THERE BE TOO MUCH SPIRITUALITY?

Spirituality is a word so broad, that it seems to have no meaning; 

unless it is the being and practice of consciously manifesting spirit in the world.

We already ARE spirit, there is no where to strive to or from. 
Our practice is only to assist us to allow us to uncover our Light, and allow it to Shine.

We do this by focusing spiritually, not physically - and there cannot be too much spiritual focus:
Being spirit in my body and acting powerfully from that place is the practice and the Being.

Meanwhile, much of what people consider spirituality, 

is actually the body trying to understand, shift and change 

to obtain some physical or allegedly spiritual result.

There is no end to our desire, physically; 

including the desire for 'spiritual' wisdom, power, results.  

THIS is where we are tempted to imbalance 

- with physical desire, even too much is never enough! 

Therefore, when my body is in charge of my spiritual experience, practice and goals 

- I am up the river, without a paddle.

Most of us start in this physically-focused place in our spiritual walk. 
But, if we allow it, we move to a move spiritually-focused place, 

in which we live in balance, freedom and affinity, 

while we learn our lessons, create/heal, serve and enjoy this earth-game.

Blessings, Wendy

Weebles wobble, but they don't stay down

I spent a lot of my adult life in depression,
or with big gnarly melancholy dominating my life on a regular basis.
Since I started my current soul work, that is all a memory.

I still go through Intense stuff, no worries!
But the challenges are from my real life, now, and handle-able.

More often and more uncomfortable 

is the stuff I am 'clearing' that feels rotten in my space.

But I Know and, by the use of my inner-tools, I ensure
that yuckiness is merely on its way up and out of my system.

The garbage truck is full of sound and fury,
sometimes it smells awful, and it is a really bad place to have a picnic! 
But unless I block/resist it, 

soon it is GONE, carrying all my rotten stuff along with it ; )

Again, this wasn't always the case!
For most of my life, all the crap was just Happening To Me! 

- ahhh - 

and I couldn't make it stop.

But for over a decade, I stand in a different place than I used to stand 

- this has made everything different:

I Know:
- the overwhelming emotions,
- the grinding thought patterns,
- the habits like Victim and Shy, and
- the set-points on 'low power' and 'give everything I can to others and not myself'…
no longer Dominate me, if I don't choose for them to do so.

I have experienced over and over:
I am a weeble: I wobble but I don't stay down ; )
I bounce right back up, in a minute, an hour, a day...

If it takes me longer to get up, I usually need a hand!
I Ask one of my healer friends to assist me to shift, or to hold my hand while I face my demons...
When I am Ready to Get Up, all I have to do is Ask and Receive!

This shift to Choosing My Inner Experience didn't happen because I am smart, or strong, or tenacious. 
I am blessed with those qualities, but that didn't help me for decades.

What helped me is learning and using Inner Tools, that give me leverage in my inner choices
AND learning and applying a few Distinctions (ways of seeing myself and the world) that serve me much better than my old belief-patterns.

I KNOW this soul process works when you work it.
I have seen it for myself and in so many others.

Blessings on your unique journey, Wendy

I happened to write about some of my beliefs and experience, yesterday.  I was encouraging a friend who was facing his own inner demons.  If you would like, read more here.

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Your Way through Darkness

You are spirit, you are precious to God and many others.
You are unstoppably on your path.
You are whole and complete, full of Light and Possibility.
Your conscious, palpable experience of this reality is growing.

You know these habits of thought and storehouses of feelings that plague you, 

are not you.

They are vestigial detritus,
the shadow that stands in the way of Light;
in the way of owning yourself, your body, your life, your world, and your amazing contribution in this reality.

You are so brave and tenacious in your healing, spiritual deepening, soul evolution;
especially as you engage in your cleansing process:

Allowing dark, ugly, heavy, viscous, vile energies/ pictures/ experiences/ identifications, habits...
- to rise from their shallow graves, as well as from from your core,
- to say hello to them, keeping your wisdom,
- to de-energize them - taking your power and efficacy back from them, and then
- to let them go: clearing them from your space forever: putting them to rest.

These dark energies and fixed way of being
have been the foundation you have been living your life upon.
But, as you move forward, your foundation is shifting.

Like Joshua, allow yourself to 

BE strong and courageous.

You are stopping being and identifying as a slave to anything and everything, inside or outside yourself.
You are stopping being and identifying as a wanderer: un-moored, impotent, disenfranchised, alien.
You are coming HOME, although you will need to Stand for it, OWN it.

You are continuing being and identifying as The Authority in your inner space: 
every step you take, owning back the land that is already yours.

You are learning and building muscle as you make war upon anything and everything that stands in your way.
Your ownership, your way, your truth, your light, your life, your reign, your dominion: 

inexorably, by any means necessary.

You are winning back your spiritual freedom, your free will, your greatest gift in this reality. 

Don Juan said:
The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior
is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge
while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.
― Carlos Castaneda

In your inner land:
Is IT happening to you, or are YOU happening to it?
This is the fundamental choice of your life, every moment.

This context is some of what supports me to keep moving
when I experience ambush 

by heavy, stuck, darkness.

Viktor Frankl pointed to this amazing truth for us humans:
we can bear any challenge, if we have meaning.

What is a big enough Truth
to hold you on your Way through darkness
until you break through to experience the reality of your Light and Life Abundant?

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Prices rising in September, who wants to start now?

Hello friends

Do you know someone who needs
- Deep Healing?
- Spiritual Counseling / Direction?
- Support to follow their Inner Genius?

Participants are absolutely Loving their Process AND their Results.
See here for some feedback I've recently received.

I am finally increasing my prices for one-on-one appointments, as of September 1st.
I will honor my current prices for the next year, with folks who start before the summer ends.
I sure would appreciate if you shared this opportunity.

Questions?
Folks who are already participating would be happy to share their experience, as would I.
Ask and Receive.

happy summer!!
Wendy

~~~~~~~~~~

Spiritual Direction, Soul Counseling, Personal Instruction and Spiritual Healing by appointment.

$250 for 2 hour session. (currently $200)

OR

$500/month (currently $400) for Soul Evolution Members. Members choose any or all of these possibilities:

• You receive private sessions for 4 - 6 hours per month, to facilitate your Soul Evolution.
• You are supported by limited phone and e-mail interaction, as needed.
• You participate in workshops and classes, in person, via internet, and archived training.

    Available regularly in Seattle,
    about 6 weeks per year at the Jersey Shore,
    and at your location.
    Also work powerfully with individuals and small groups through Skype.

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The 'curse' becomes Blessing

Every 'curse' that affects me
is one to which I spiritually consent.

I have learned to be glad of these challenges,
because without them,
I would Never have gotten where I am,
or where i am going.

The 'curse' becomes Blessing
as it 'encourages' me back into alignment,
with myself, my path, my God.

May we all find our Way, Truth, Life,
in our own unique alignment,
as quickly and comfortably as possible.

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All Manner of Things Shall be Well

On a forest road, off of Mountain Loop Highway:
my favorite Mountain area near Seattle,
a quick and easy connection to Momma Nature,

I got stuck in the snow, in my friend's RV.

I had been on this road, near its singular entrance, for 27 hours,
and had only seen one truck come and go.
I was now near the top of one of 3 branches of this road.

I tried many ways to release the RV from the snow:
digging,
rocking,
wedging branches behind the tires
… repeat.

The snow was like a sno-cone,
packed down hard after much thawing, freezing,
so that my big-self on my little-feet barely sank-in.

Which was convenient for walking around,
not so convenient for getting the RV free.
I grumbled to myself: 'Darn this front-wheel-drive RV, with it's weight is over the back tires!'

After the RV was not immediately released,
I had offered a quick mock-up (prayer), that I would shift out of this with ease,
and set restfully to work, without haste, without fear, without concern:

All will be well...
All is well.

This is just an adventure, of many adventures.

I met my friend David, about a dozen years ago, in Baja.
He loved to say at the time:
Adventures start when breakdowns occur.

Of course, he is right. 
And what a blessing to stand in that place.  A place of serendipity.
Life, God breaks-through and breathes new direction into my well-laid plans.

It is a joy to have the luxury of time.

So that a breakdown has the time/space/energy to be a joy, a blessing;
not a time to hold my breath while I am knocked off-kilter.

Usually my life feels like there is never! enough! time/space/energy,
and of course that is tied directly to money.
Breakdowns usually seem to mean a cascade of frustrations and disappointments.

In my life, I think this is one of the most undermining cycles that I get caught in:
the lie that there is not enough time/space/energy/money.
and that the answer is to rush! to try! harder!

As if scurrying and effort actually get me anywhere...

It was Wednesday afternoon in late-May, the least traveled time of the week in a National Forest,
at a time of year unpopular for summer-activities, as well as waning interest in winter-activities.
It crossed my mind that another vehicle may not come way up here, until the weekend.

I had plenty of supplies, so my only real concern was the cold,
for the RV was resting on and surrounded by snow.
I knew I could handle the cold, with the resources I had... possibly even comfortably.

Or... I could walk the many miles down to the 'main' road,
although it would be near the edge of my endurance.

So, I went about, doing what I could do,
working/playing with snow and the RV:
in peace, in contentment, in play and in comfortable challenge.

And a half-hour after I got stuck,
long before I was out of schemes to disengage myself from this rut I got myself into,
up the road came a truck.

I was pleasantly surprised!
And as I walked up to the truck and the party unfolded before me,
I knew that God was taking amazing care of me.

This 4-wheel drive truck had a sweet man driving,
with his wife sitting beside,
with two dogs romping out of the back,
and next a babe-in-arms emerging out of the cab.

I knew I was ok.
Even if it had been 4 guys in the truck, drinking beer and toting rifles (a more likely option out here).
I knew I was ok.

But my body/thoughts/emotions were a lot happier with this rescue party
I now found frolicking around me.
A family who lived 50 miles away, and hadn't been up here in months...

The guy had a four wheel drive,
a heavy-duty web that easily hooked to our vehicles,
and he did all the work.

It took no time,
and when we were done,
he would take no money, or food, or anything I offered.

It was a joy though, to repay the debt,
when (you can't make this stuff up) they got stuck in the same snow I did,
and I was right there to pull them out. 

Ha. God is Good.

God is so good to me! and
I rest in the gentle arms of Momma Nature.
This is always true, but often I don't notice.

Jesus said: 'when your eye is single, your whole body also is full of light.'
One of the things I love about being out in Momma Nature:
life is so simple, uncomplicated, singular, of human-scale.

I sleep.  I eat.  I do nothing.
I read.  I write.  I play with quotes.
I hike.  I play in a creek.  I lay on stones in the sun.

I daydream.  I vision.  I meditate.
I play with Spirit.  I savor Momma Nature.
I just be, I am.

In day-to-day life, there are so many layers of challenge.

As we all do, I have so many piles of to-dos,
so many people/places/things to manage.
I am a good juggler and yet, life is intense.

I enjoy being in Momma Nature
where I can let that all stand aside:
challenges are straightforward, uncomplicated, solvable.

In this scenario,
a need for a bit more friction under the front wheels,
or a little help from a gracious stranger.

Less then an hour after getting stuck in the snow,
I was off on a hike up the road through which I couldn't drive.
With my snowshoes on my back.

Slipping snowshoes on and off, as needed;
I climbed the gorgeous, increasingly snow-packed road for an hour,
all the way to its amazing end.

Enjoying the view.
Savoring the challenge.
Knowing more deeply that God is with me.

Knowing All is Well…
All Manner of Things Shall be Well.

When have you known God was taking really sweet care of you?  How has that changed your life?

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Finding Balance: let the waves come, let them go

I allow balance to come to me:
Balance happens
when I do not attach to being perfectly balanced,
and I let go of fighting to stay balanced.

It is only fighting the waves that keeps me out of balance:
When I let go, I slosh back and forth for awhile;
but roaring waves rather quickly settle to ripples,
when I allow them to resolve naturally.

I allow balance to come to me,
when I let go of judging, of attaching to, of resisting
the waves of intensity, of dichotomies, of extremes that pull me off center;
I settle into a dynamic centeredness.

It is only fighting the waves that keeps me out of balance!
As I practice letting go,
I find myself comfortably floating,
swaying around center,

I allow balance to come to me.
It is only fighting the waves that keeps me out of balance.
This is a picture, a practice I received from Lao Tzu.
I have profited from his insight, for awhile now.

.
.
and associated post with Lao Tzu:
Mountains are not better than valleys. Valleys are not better than mountains.

Magick

We are spirit, a spark of Divinity, in this physical world.
As spirit in bodies, we have great influence in this physical reality.
And it helps everyone, when we consciously choose to exercise it.

Magick is our will as soul, levered into this physical world.
When we consciously act as spirit in the world, in that spark of co-creation,
our spiritual intention shifts the physical world from its inertial course.

Magic is not a thing; it is a behavior, a practice, a choice.
It is not physical, it is not merely spiritual,
it is the intersection of both: where we fully engage; 

we play as spirit in sandbox earth.

Magick is a practice: a school, a gym, a playground
in which we Become Ourselves, we Become Powerfully Whole,
we Become the Mature spiritual Adults who shift Heaven and Earth.

Being Magick (growing into our capacity as spirit, to act in the world),
aligned with Source and our Unique soul path,
we mature, and inspire others to mature, come to fruition.

As my favorite Christian teacher, Dr Bruce Morgan, used to say:
"We are becoming who we are going to be for all eternity."
Let's keep at it.
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Being with Issues & Emotions stored in our Bodies

Photo: Anguish by Porschelinn on Flickr

Below is most of the article by Bernie Clark: Issues in our Tissues: Looking at the Emotions We Store in Our Bodies

Just as it is inappropriate and unhealthy to push past our physical edges, it is also unskillful and unhelpful to push past our emotional edges.

The first thing to recognize when strong emotions arise in our yoga practice is: “I am not alone!” Many people experience discomforting emotions and even elating emotions while doing their practice. Just being aware that others have gone through the same experience—and survived very nicely, thank you very much—helps to take the edge off the anxiety of the moment...

We all have issues in our tissues, which is to say, we store emotions in our bodies. Where else could they possible be?

Emotions are not stored out there in some cloud server on the Internet: they are not on a Google computer in hyperspace. They are within you, close at hand and ready at a moment’s notice to manifest.

The dance of yoga is one of playing our edges: we approach the point of being too deep, never actually arriving at this point, and then we back off to see if we can approach that edge again, safely. This is the art: never actually going too deep, but moving constantly towards that edge where the sensations are juicy, where there is definitely something happening, but it is not too much sensation and we are never in danger of ripping the body open.

When we think about our edges we often think in physical terms, and you may well have had such an image in your mind when you read the above words, but we have edges emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. Just as it is inappropriate and unhealthy to push past our physical edges it is also unskillful and unhelpful to push past our emotional edges. Just as we may have scar tissue in our body that prevents our full range of movement, we often have emotional scar tissue as well that can restrict our interpersonal and lifestyle ranges of movement. These stuck, contracted areas can be painful when worked into and we can only go so far in our yoga practice to really open up...

Once again the answer is to play your edge, but with enhanced awareness.

Our basic emotions exist within us to provide protection, healing and growth—they are not inherently bad: they are in fact very necessary for a whole life well lived. But sometimes emotions are evoked unskillfully and it is in these cases that we need to evaluate the raw experience of the emotion unemotionally, with dispassion.

Let’s take a real life example: let’s say that recently you have begun to experience a strong feeling of fear, desperately wanting to get out of the posture, wanting to scream like crazy, “A pressure on my chest!” as one student recently noted when she went into Straddle (Dragonfly) pose during a Yin Yoga class. She had been practicing Yin Yoga for over a year so this sudden arising of fear was surprising, perplexing and worrying. What does it mean and what should she do?

First, realize that you are not the only one. Emotions will arise at some point in your yoga journey. That is quite natural when you consider that yoga works the full body, not just the physical tissues. Next, consider the depth of the emotions and whether these feelings are limited only to your yoga practice or also arise at other times in life, because if they do, you may want to seek some professional assistance in determining what it means and how to work through the challenge. Finally, know that this is a wonderful opportunity to deepen your yoga practice, to go beyond the mere postures and into the depths of your own being.

Photo: raganmd on Flickr

David Williams, one of the first two Americans to practice Ashtanga Yoga, once observed that the real yoga is what you can’t see. He means that the real process of yoga unfolds beneath the obvious shapes that we contort our bodies into, it involves the breath and the way we pay attention to what is happening within. This is the invitation your strong emotional response is offering you. Rather than blindly or automatically react to the emotion, cultivate an attitude of acceptance and curiosity. Ask yourself what is really going on: “What is this?”...

Poses in yoga work the body physically and energetically, stimulating the meridian lines that correspond to the major organs of the body and sometimes eliciting strong emotional responses. In the example of the woman who experienced fear while she was in Straddle Pose, she may have created a deep stress along the inner thighs, the adductor muscle group, through which the liver and kidney meridians run. This stress may be sufficient to trigger an emotional response if there is some blockage psychically or emotionally in the pertaining organs of the liver and kidneys.

Regardless of the cause of the emotional response, the prescription is the same: awareness with dispassion. Watch what is occurring without trying to change it, without running away from it, without giving into it in despair or resignation. Of course, as we have already discussed, if you really feel you are past your edge and are too deeply into an emotional state, then back off! But if the emotions are just challenging, not dangerous, stay and observe the raw experience that is occurring. This is when something interesting is about to happen. Don’t miss it!

Ask yourself constantly, “What is this?”

Note the emotions and the associated physical sensations in detail to yourself: what are you feeling, what is your breath like, your heart rate, is there increased tension in your jaw, shoulders, neck? For example, if you are feeling fear, notice what fear feels like: “my breath is shorter and choppy; my shoulders are tense; my thoughts are foggy and I can’t focus.”

Don’t judge these sensations as good or bad and don’t try to change them; just observe them as they are...

To sum up, when a strong emotion arises in the middle of a yoga practice pay attention to it. If it is too strong, back off and perhaps even stop the practice for that day. If this continues to happen to the degree that you can no longer practice skillfully, then seek help from a qualified yoga teacher or counseling. However, if the emotions are challenging but not dangerous, use this opportunity to take your yoga practice to a new level: play the edge of the emotion without going over the edge. Start to observe what is actually occurring, without adding anything to the experience and without taking anything away from it.

One last thought, and for this I will quote Rod Stryker: “If you have never laughed or cried in a yoga class, what are you waiting for?”

  Bernie Clark

The Healing Power of NO

My encouragement to a healer who can't say NO:

In my experience:

I learned NO, MINE, and BYE-BYE by the age of two 

- but I allowed myself to be socialized out of it.  

Yet, these are the energetic cornerstones of a well, whole, self-directed system: 

I must own these tools to be a well HEALER. 

Otherwise, soon I am a broken healer of no use to anyone, including myself 

... been there got the T-shirt! 

If I say NO, I make way for a bigger YES - for everyone involved. 

It helps me to TRUST Spirit, Self, Other, Life...

My compulsion to say Yes as a healer, 

tends to be a band-aid for my own experience of pain, brokenness and need, 

the 3 most likely suspects (some of the many HUGE temptations of a healer):

1) I want to focus on others healing instead of my own.

(But the secret is the more I face my self and allow myself to heal, 

the more I am a healing presence for others.)

2) I want them to love me and think I am great.

(But the secret is the more I am my real self, 

authentically shining and doing what is best for Me 

- the more I am authentically loved and appreciated by others... 

and they are inspired to live and love, and shine!)

3) I want to believe and/or I want them to believe I am SPECIAL: 

they Need ME - ha!

(But the secret is, their healing is between THEM and their bodies and Spirit... 

I am honored to assist when appropriate! 

They don't need Me, and it is beneficial for us both to keep that at the top of mind.)

.

What is your experience?
Peace and Grace to you on your unique journey 

- Wendy
         

How to receive a Spiritual Reading

I just answered this question, so I thought I would share here:

What would you tell someone who was considering a Spiritual Reading?
I would tell them what I tell my readees, and my students:

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1)  When getting a reading, remembering your Free Will is key

Humans are infinitely creative!
We can keep going in the directions we have chosen in the past 

or we can change direction whenever we choose to. 

Each of us can learn and grow and heal and change - yee ha!

This can drastically alter our lives, energies, bodies, relationships, perceptions, abilities, etc. 

This has been my experience in my own life.
I have also had the privilege to watch so many others 

become more conscious of themselves as spirit and 

co-create a very different life for themselves than might have happened otherwise.

I say all this to underline why I believe in free will. 

There is a rumor going around that our free will is a gift from Spirit. 

Therefore, I suggest:

 - avoid advice 

(information is very useful, but you are an adult, you don't need to be told what to do!)

 - avoid predictions of your future 

(you choose your route, and you can shift your direction any time!)

 - basically, I am saying, avoid 'programming' 

('buying' and 'wearing' someone else's information, expectations, desires...

that do not fit you as well as your own)

This is not meant to hamper or discourage you in your questions 

or the value you will receive in a reading – just the opposite.

You can ask to look at any situation or choice that is before you 

and ask about what the energy is now – in the present - 

and the direction you are going.

This will support you to make your own choices 

and honor the gift of your own spiritual freedom.

.
2) Getting a reading, can be a wonderful gift of an outside perspective, a spiritual perspective.

A reading is like what folks say about an accident at a cross-street, 

each person on a different corner, sees a different accident.

This is the gift of a reading 

- you are receiving a different perspective on yourself and your creations 

(your life, body, relationships, etc) 

that is outside your own usual consciousness. 

It can be like looking in a sacred mirror, 

getting a reflection of yourself from a different angle.
This is potentially an incredible blessing!

Optimally, your reader will give you a spiritual perspective 

- neutral, amused, validating, spiritually-focused -  

this can be a wonderful healing, encouragement and inspiration to learn and grow.

If you perceive your reading as primarily physically-focused:

emotional, judgmental, invalidating, blaming... 

I would suggest wiping your feet and walking away.

.
3)  Getting a reading is like a Spaghetti fight  - what sticks to you, is yours ; )

It is useful to stay neutral and amused, present and open in your reading.
Keep only what validates you, and leave the rest.

Just like the rest of life, 

YOUR information and experience is central.
Stay senior in your own space, 

and avoid allowing yourself to be 'programed' by other's perspective.

If something the reader says doesn't jive with you, 

don't let yourself get Hooked:  

I recommend letting go of judging, resisting or invalidating the information and experience.
If something seems to not fit, if it feels wrong:  

you don't have to 'buy it', letting go of the tendency to Resist! 

– just let it go.

But, as a rule: take what is said and meditate on it 

- there are probably a lot of jewels in there for you.

Even things that don't initially seem true for you, 

there May be truth in it for you – 

So, if something is bugging you, niggling at you: 

I recommend letting it sit on 'the shelf' for a few days; 

then meditate on it, ask Spirit: what is the gift for me in this information?

I encourage you to let this perspective from outside yourself, 

hopefully a spiritual perspective, 

inform your life and your living.

But, most importantly, 

I urge you to continue to develop your own spiritual 'ears', 'eyes', 'knowing' etc 

- so you can continue to deepen as the authority in your own life, the driver of your own car (life).

YMMV,
Wendy

Clearing Trauma: it takes. Minute AND its Worth our Investment

I have had the dark blessing of a long and winding way 

with much opportunity to Clear Trauma, Abuse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, emotions, habits, addictions...

Deep wounding takes more than saying a few words to clear it. 

It takes turning the ship, not 're-arranging chairs on the Titanic' ; )

As I told a healer I worked with a while ago, 

"if it was easy for me to change and let this go, I would be healed and whole years ago."

Utilizing intention, along with meditation techniques, and wise and compassionate support, 

I have cleared a large percentage of my abuse pictures/energy and all that came with it.

As well as the 'bent-ness; that perpetuated into my adult life, and which I built my self and life upon. 

And I am still fully engaged in this process, and I will be for a long time. 

It takes courage and persistence. 

And for me, as with many, it got worse (as things came up and out to clear) before it got better.

.
Healing and experiencing wholeness is available to us. 

When we clean up the mess, life can be a joy: easy and fun! 

We don't have to live with PTSD or any other brokenness, 

without hope of healing and restoration. 

And, yes, I had to change!

to begin identifying with myself as spirt, 

and not with my abuse and the brokenness that I experienced from that.

.
Meanwhile, with extreme issues, it is not usually as easy as 'falling off a log.' 

I believe it is absolutely necessary to have powerful energy techniques; 

and wise, compassionate support for this process. 

For some, it is a very challenging path: 

it can feel like hell, or dying, or going completely loony, or all the above!

Wise and compassionate support is essential for many, for many reasons, including:
1) It is almost impossible to face some of the worst stuff alone.
2) It is important not to 'fall off the edge.'
3) It is necessary to deal with the tremendously temptation to want to run back to living with the terrible pain and brokenness, rather than pushing through the horror, to eventual experience of freedom and lightness and wholeness.

Enough for now, I am going out to play!

Yay for wounded healers: 

may we keep healing ourselves, so we can be Well and Happy; 

and from there we can effectively assist others!

-wendy

.

spiritual senses

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Do We Have The Ability To Feel Others? www.youtube.com
- Prof. Ervin Laszlo talks with Rav Laitman about how feeling others is the mark of a higher consciousness that we need to achieve.


Wendy R Wolf
Yes, I agree, in addition to physical senses and abilities are spiritual senses and abilities. I find it encouraging to have these validated by folks from different backgrounds and religions.

In my tradition, we distinguish between different spiritual senses, including: spiritual physical feeling (including pressure, taste and touch); spiritual emotional and sexual information - where resides sympathy for example; spiritual affinity (experience of oneness) - where resides compassion and empathy; spiritual hearing and other communication information; spiritual sight; spiritual knowing.

We have distinguished, as we go along this list, information becomes more neutral, less body-focused & more spiritually-focused (for example, seeing spiritually can help me have more clear, neutral information about a relationship than perhaps utilizing my spiritual emotional or sexual information). So we practice the 'higher' senses, to access and enjoy clearer information, as well as clearer connection with God.

.

When we heal ourselves, we heal the world

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."

you can some about this here

I don't practice Dr. Len's method, but I am informed by it in my own healing practice.

I shared about Dr. Len's modern application of hoʻoponopono 

with a couple of my students the other day in an advanced healing class. 

They came back reporting a shift for themselves 

by referencing/utilizing some of Dr Len's distinctions within their own spiritual healing practice.

I had shared about this tangentially, and i was excited to see this fruit.

I think each of these:
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."
can be useful doorways for healing

More usefully, from my perspective, is the KNOWing, BEing and DOing that:
what we heal inside ourselves
really does heal the world outside ourselves.

BEING the change we want to see in the world
IS the WAY

I believe Dr. Len's story is a modern example of many powerful healers through the ages 

and the shift that HAPPENS, when we shift.

I like to share it for inspiration.
Blessings, w

How can our experience of being alive, shift?

With Soul Evolution:
What might we be able to do?
How can things be different?

The leap into a spiritually-focused life can change everything.

Our new capacities that we access and build upon, shift our lives dramatically for the better, inside and out.  

Along our unique spiritual path we find support, connection and the true fulfillment of our deepest calling.  

We become more conscious, effective agents of change in our lives and in the world.

When you access the outcomes below with ease and consistency, how could it change your world?


1.  Turn glimpses of possibility and clarity into lasting change and sustained momentum

One of the universal challenges on the path of spiritual development and personal growth is converting our insights into lasting results.  

Despite hard work, glimmers of tremendous potential, and deepening awareness 

- and even periods of significant progress - 

many of us are frustrated by our tendency to slide back into old patterns.

This waning of consistency and commitment is natural.  

But when we are able to access our soul, 

we discover resources that are enduring and powerful enough to sustain our practices, 

truly embody new possibilities, 

and move us to act on what really matters to us.

Imagine tapping into a source of inspiration that so powerfully transcends the drives of our habitual self, 

that we just can't go back to the way things have been. 

With a larger perspective, and expanded internal resources, 

we become what we access in our most inspired moments. 

The result: 

an active, new-found momentum in our spiritual practices, in our lives, and in our highest aspirations in the world.

2.  Create deeper, more authentic relationships, and find community with others who share our values and aspirations

Stepping up to meaningful change in the world 

and to pioneer a new way of being human is an exciting and enlivening prospect, 

but it can also feel lonely out on the leading edge. 

When we surround ourselves with others who share a commitment to Soul Evolution, 

we can more easily overcome social gravity.

That's where evolutionary partnership with kindred spirits becomes useful. 

We can access deeply connected friendships and partnerships that serve us, and others.  

As a Soul Evolutionaries, we can both give and receive in conscious collaboration.


3.  Discover a spiritual practice that is relevant to our modern world and can be lived 24/7

Many people's spiritual longings are scarcely fulfilled by a half-hour-a-day meditation practice, 

and we wonder how to live spiritually when life's demands don't allow for extended retreats and pilgrimages.

And although traditional paths and practices have helped humans all along, 

many of us are not deeply served by them.

Soul Evolution practices are relevant to the complexities and challenges of modern life 

- an engaged, holistic approach that turns everyday life into a spiritual practice, 24/7.  

We don't sequester ourselves to prepare for a later return to living.  

It's spiritual life - in action - NOW.

When we step into Soul Evolution Practices, conscious living is part of the practice 

- how we relate to our experiences, situations, and other people. 

The result is a practical, grounded spirituality that has impact on ourselves and the world 

- and a daily life infused with meaning and purpose.

4. Learn how to defuse our physical-focus and undermining habits

Our habit of physical-focus is an obstacle 

when we are choosing to live a spiritually-focused life: 

conscious, awakened, enlightened, free.

When these unproductive habits and instincts run the show unconsciously, 

nothing really works the way we sense it could 

- not in our lives or in our world.

What's more, many spiritual and psychological disciplines have taught us that 

our human nature is fixed and must be accepted, 

offering little hope for anything more than "small change."

But the discovery of the soul self changes all that, 

offering a path beyond old patterns and ways of being,  

a path that is more direct than most of us can imagine. 

By aligning with the pure and powerful part of ourselves, 

we bypass outmoded impulses. 

We liberate ourselves from the religious and social programming of our world.

The drives toward survival, emotionality, stasis, 'being right', avoidance of truth and commitment... 

loose their grip on our lives. 

They don't go away, but they cease to be compelling. 

The voice of limitation no longer captures our attention; 

the temptation to play the victim loses its charge. 

With ourselves as spirit in the driver's seat, 

we are free to take creative healthy risks, 

lean into positive change, 

face truths with less resistance, and 

allow the flourishing of our highest human potential. 

5. Live our highest aspirations, wisdom and callings, even when we don't feel like it

From the soul self, we experience an un-linking of the bondage 

between our thoughts & feelings, and our choices & actions. 

We discover the liberation of our capacity to consciously align our self with Higher Consciousness.

Instead of being thrown off-course by strong feelings, 

we are informed by them and we can keep our course.  

You can give up the notion that "I couldn't help it."   

Emotions such as fear don't have to be obstacles to internal freedom and external action. 

This doesn't mean suppressing our feelings.  

We can feel all our feelings deeply - even more so - 

with an expanding care for the whole;

and still see clearly in the face of them. 

And, we learn to read our feelings more accurately 

and obtain the wisdom and data they contain... 

without getting sidetracked by them.

The result:  Better choices, commitment, and a life of integrity and presence.

Emotional and intellectual freedom 

is one of the most liberating and powerful transformations of Soul Evolution.  

Spiritual freedom is key.

6. "Draft" on the momentum and energy of evolution

When we don't seem to be getting the results our spiritual practices were intended to deliver, 

many of us begin to doubt that the ideals we once set out to manifest are even possible.  

Unfortunately, much of contemporary spiritual thought supports this reduced vision, 

suggesting we "call off the search" and accept that this is as good as it gets.  

One of the pitfalls most people don't even realize they're stuck in 

is a context for our spiritual work that's simply too small. 

An unfortunate byproduct of our individualistic culture 

is that spiritual growth is often seen as being strictly personal 

- for our own fulfillment, happiness, and enlightenment.

Entire generation has thus been earnestly working on themselves 

chiefly to obtain happier, more peaceful lives 

- and wondering why this doesn't catalyze significant change.

What if the purpose of a spiritual path includes us, but doesn't end with us? 

In Soul Evolution, we connect with the role our own progress plays in the great game of Soul Evolution 

- the way that, as evolving beings in an evolving universe, we can participate in the advancement of humanity and Consciousness itself.  

Our healing and transformation effects those around us, and beyond.

7. Find the resilience, perspective and genuine optimism to face the biggest challenges confronting humanity today

The Spiritual perspective helps us understand and navigate our problems and challenges more accurately, 

and offers a vantage-point that is the ultimate antidote to cynicism: 

we realize that everything can and will change.

The practices of Soul Evolution infuse us 

with resilience, inspiration, creativity, and energy. 

With spirit leading the charge, 

we're tapped into the limitless, positive and unstoppable momentum of the cosmos itself. 

Rather than take on issues alone, as individuals or even as a community, 

we're fueled by something much larger.

We can also take heart in the fact that by developing ourselves, 

we are "being the change" 

and doing perhaps the most important work of all:

contributing to a cultural and energetic shift 

that may ultimately instigate more improvement than tackling any one issue on its own.

-------------------------------------------

These are a few of the ways in which our experience of being alive can shift 

when we step into what is an evolutionary relationship to life 

- the fundamental shift in our orientation that is generated 

when we awaken this deeper part of our self as spirit and take the reins.

When we are able to cultivate these very real capabilities, 

we find that our deepest hopes and dreams 

for a comfortable self and a better world weren't a pipe dream after all. 

We learn that we can evolve what it is to be human 

- not modestly, but radically - 

in a way that not only better serves our work, families and lives, 

but fulfills on the highest promise of humanity's potential.

Soul Evolution, take the next step.

My Spiritual & Psychic Journey

.
One of the ways to introduce myself, is by sharing the highlights of my Psychic journey, as someone who Loves God.

I always remember experiencing strong clairsentience (spiritual feeling) & some claircognizance (spiritual knowingness). Growing up in an abusive household, I used that to help "protect" me (It didn’t really help, in retrospect, but I had an illusion of some control at least ; )

I grew up Catholic. I can point to my first conscious mystical encounter, when I experienced Mary while doing rosary in my room, a few weeks before Confirmation - so i was IDK 12-ish? That was Awesome.

What was Not awesome, was my actual Confirmation experience: where i watched the Bishop having behavior that pretended to be spiritual, but had no 'magic' in it… it was just words and waving of arms, but nothing real occurred as happening. I was afraid of him, yes, and the prospect of being called to account, and being terribly shy, and such. But, I was actively NOT Awed… in retrospect, i was actively disappointed by the lack of Actual spiritual experience. What a shame to have the shell of the experience left as a ritual, but the experience itself be empty, hollow. Confirmation is intended to be a turn farther INTO the church, but for me, it ended up being a turn away… I know now, that If I want to experience God in church, I gotta 'bring God with me', but I remember my Confirmation as one of the 2 significant disappointments with my Catholic church experience.

The other big disappointment in my Catholicism, I was IDK 15, and I had been agnostic for a couple years. I finally told my folks, and they were UPSET, as were many of my family and friends. My mom dragged me off to the priest to FIX me: aye… He said things that make sense to me Now, about his personal experience of God. But at the time, the interaction just fed my belief that these religious people are, um, let's say intellectually challenged ; )

I found the whole 'coming out as agnostic' experience very strange, because, except for Sunday mornings and holidays, their belief in God seemed to make no noticeable difference in the life of my friends and family. But, most of them were UPSET about my agnosticism. I couldn't understand that, I still don't, really...

I spent the bulk of my teens as an agnostic. And, I continue to believe that the intellect cannot understand God or spiritual reality very well (if at all) and has very different values and priorities; and therefore the intellect doesn't have good reason to believe in God, IMO. In retrospect, I also see my agnosticism as an important and necessary stage in my spiritual journey.

Another important stage was being 'born again Christian' in a house church. I opened to this expereince becasue of the palpable Love of these people for each other and for God. I opened and I became willing to experience something awesome, a spiritual experience that could be named experiencing 'God' *directly*. It was in part an emotional experience, and yet also spiritually true. So, no matter where I have been since, I cannot deny this spiritual experience - this is a touchstone for me, which has been really helpful along the way. Reminds me of what Amy Grant says in her song: 1974:
As the years go by
How I need to see
That's still me


My clairaudience (spiritual hearing) came on strong after a Christian ‘baptism in the Spirit’ right after being 'born again' when I was 17. I was 'on fire' with God for a couple years, after that the honeymoon was over, but real 'married life' had begun, in earnest...

As I said, my relationship with God was really delicious for at least a year or two, but then, the intellect I purposefully 'gave to God' when i was 'born again' was overtly given back to me: it was time for me to grow up, spiritually. I did have and I do have real spiritual experience: I had to learn to reconcile that with competing thoughts, beliefs, emotions, influences and experiences in my life. That process has been extremely challenging and rewarding beyond measure.

I spent most of my 20's struggling with intellectual issues around God, and then also struggling with allowing my perceptions and relationship with God to shift: again and again. I opened to different spiritual paths and ways of experiencing God, outside of the Christian paradigm. I resisted a lot, so it was painful and slow... I can see now that spiritually I was being pushed out of the 'nest': to learn, to grow, to change, to experience many different pathways to The One.

At 29, my clairvoyance (spiritual seeing) came ON very strongly in a life-changing interaction with (what occurred to me as) ‘Goddess’ while driving alone across the Delaware Memorial Bridge (of all places!) on my way to a weekend alone, beach camping. I went 'out of time' for what seemed like a really long time, but really was just the time it took to cross the bridge...

The one I related to as Goddess turned out to be like a Guardian Angel, but she was the primary 'face of God' that I related to for about 10 years. This Goddess experience and my spiritual visual senses turning way UP was not consciously asked for, and stood my world on-end! I am grateful And it was very challenging to deal with at the time. I had no conscious control over my clairvoyance - visions would come when they came… my clairaudience was turned way down for awhile, which encouraged my clairvoyance to develop; but this was disconcerting, since I was used to HEARING God. I was used to talking with God and now, instead, I was being encouraged to visually relate to Goddess instead… I had related to many different concepts and faces of God through my 20's, but I was encouraged to let them go and interact primarily with this Goddess face of God - this was truly a Delight, but strange and unnerving as well. I was grok-ing the world very differently, I was opening to new and very challenging paradigms. This was a time of Huge shift, uncomfortable and exciting.

Also, my healing abilities really started waking up, ~8 months later, when I turned 30, I was ‘called’ as a healer (“You are a Healer becoming”)

This is when I started getting into Real Trouble.

On a minor level, from the time my clairvoyance opened, I started experiencing energetic ‘attacks’ that were uncomfortable and confusing, sometimes disturbing and scary. (the worst was experiencing ‘entities’ coming into my space in uncomfortable and invasive ways)

More detrimental to my wellness, I started using my abilities in healing relationships (I became a massage therapist) I was very good at it, but ended up drained, and sick, eventually bed-ridden for years because Energetically I had terrible boundaries – I was inclined to take on other’s energy to try to heal them and transmute their negative energies. I ended up getting almost every injury and illness, as well as emotional challenge, that my clients experienced – ugh. For Me this was a difficult, painful, dangerous road!

Eventually after many years of churning and suffering (and RESISTING), I dedicated myself to an intense psychic training program. Because of my 'religious programming' against psychics AND my fear of being 'seen' and judged; as well as avoidance of getting down to my Real Healing (which has been Intense) - I avoided this for many years.

I was very ill and headed down fast, I believe if I hadn’t finally been willing to take this road, to repent (change direction), I would be dead by now... This lever of extreme illness Forced me to shift and take on my own psychic healing and development; I wasn't willing to LET GO, to shift my concept of God and myself and the world, except under these most dire of circumstances!

I learned to utilize techniques that really serve me energetically, to co-create healing for myself and others. I learned to be safe & comfortable, to own my space, and be in charge of my abilities. Practicing daily meditation and regularly ‘reading’ and ‘healing’ and 'teaching' in safe, structured ways have served me greatly in the process of my physical, emotional, relational and spiritual wellness. And of course made a huge difference in my ability to serve others, as well. I was in an intense healing & training program for 4 years, and since then I have been healing and serving on my own.

I enjoy my abilities very much, and I allow them to continue opening/increasing. I believe we are all spirit, and we all have these spiritual senses and abilities, it is a matter of allowing them to open (or re-open) in safe and comfortable ways that I believe is most important.

I continue to deepen in my spiritual path, relationship with God, Angels, Ascended Masters and Healing Guides. I work with others to assist them on their own unique journey.

I am so glad for my challenges, they have led me to an Incredible, Exciting, Fruitful life in God and in service to other's spiritual deepening.

So that is my spiritual and psychic journey, in a *relatively* small nutshell

thank you for your attention,
-wendy
.

Meeting the Red Dragon

I have had a lot of challenge in and with my body,
and my life on this planet.

To get on this bucking bronco of life IN my body,
and learn to ride, again;
I have been practicing Energy Healing, Reading and Teaching.

This path has served me and blessed me immeasurably.
Meanwhile, 'owning' my body and my body energy, again,
has been a very long and challenging process.

Lately, I have turned a very large corner in my relationship with my body.
I think of the song: Secret of Life: Isn't it a Lovely Ride?

It IS a LOVELY Ride.
It CAN BE a Lovely Ride, as much as I let it...
as much as I LET it...

9 years ago, I came to Seattle 'sick unto death'.
I was So broken and so stopped in my life and in my body:
I knew if I didn't change my trajectory,
I would die a protracted and painful death.

I was not slidin down, glidin down:
I was free falling... without a parachute
... and Not enjoying it.

In the last 9 years, my life and my body have changed Tremendously.
I recently started Yoga, again.
And the day before, I started Network Chiropractic.
They are each amazing, magical.

Here is one recent day of being with my body and allowing healing:

Yoga Day 5: Sunday morning - woo hoo.
It felt good to do it: I had skipped Friday morning,
I have been fighting a 'cold' and changing too quickly!

Today I had so much fear,
seen as cockroaches,
coming out of my body as I did Yoga!

I noticed this particular time, that the breathing Really brought everything to a head.
I could get through with the postures - such as they are when I do them - ha!
But in adding breath, so much came to the surface! 

The fear crescendoed about 2/3 of the way through the 70 minute class.
If felt like I would break somehow,
and I was fortunate that the Red Dragon appeared to assist me.

He is an Ascended Master who is just new to me, today.
He is not very verbal - but very Powerful.
He doesn't have "nice pictures" (happy to fry someone's ass, as needed ; )

I matched the Dragon.
He helped me to run anger.
To run kundalini.
To run red vitality, life force energy.

To throw the fear in the fire.
To own back my space.
To let go of victim pictures,
and most importantly, shift victim habits.

I moved to the hot tub where I stayed too long!
I moved off more 'not me' and gained back more of 'me'.
I owned a new way of being and made a mock-up to attract a dozen subscription clients, by the end of the year; and keep a dozen subscription clients, moving forward.

I came home to a new subscription client in my e-mail,
after showering and going to the farmer's market.
The new client is excited and scheduled:
seems like a really Good fit: YES it can be This easy...

I had the 'runs' this morning before yoga and my energy waned quickly this afternoon.
I am fighting whopping flu-like symptoms tonight
Very painful body, very low energy, sore throat, FREEZING!

I feel the energy of fear and invalidation in my muscles. 
I am running light yellows, the red is too much for now.
I am detoxing like crazy: feels like metal coming out.

I SO want to blow through all this in one fell swoop!
....everything that is in the way of my full spiritual, emotional, mental, financial, vocational and physical wellness / wholeness!

But, I KNOW from long learning the hard and painful way,
with so much unnecessary suffering:
Easy Does It: gentle and balanced is the only way forward, for me, on this road.

Like I've had on my wall for the last dozen years:
Pursue Growth with Reckless Moderation.
Challenging but useful!

May all beings enjoy nurturing support,
resting in the cupped hands of the Creator.

in Life, Wendy

The curse and blessing of Perfection

.
I used to be dominated by the pressure to be perfect - i.e. to be very different, 'better!', than I was/am and different than I ever could realistically be.
In various layers of my being, consciously and not-consciously, I used to think that I had to be perfect to be loved, to be acceptable, to deserve the earth under my feet and the sun & rain on my face.
I have been allowing shift on this for many years now, layer after layer, thought after habit after emotional default after energetic attachment... shifting and allowing light and lightness. It is a blessing to allow healing and change at the deep layers.

It gave me a lever to help me free myself, when my spiritual teacher told me that there is NO perfection in this world, on the PHYSICAL it is an unobtainable ideal, so it would serve me to let it go.
At the same time. it helped me to see and expereince over and over, from a SPIRITUAL perspective, that Everything and Everyone really is perfect: right now; always have been, always will be. Everything is ALL Right. As Julian of Norwich said: 'All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.' That is the spiritual reality which I expereince, when I tune into my mystical senses.

It also helps me to notice what I think perfect is.

Is it a rigid picture of how someone or something should be, an IDEAL? This doesn't work for me, I never live up to my own or other's idealized pictures of who I should be, what I should look like, and what I should do. And nothing in this world lives up to my idealized pictures either. This is a painful way to live, and it doesn't work for me. Fortunately my spiritual practice has very useful distinctions and practices around these 'perfect pictures' that so often drive us - so I am grateful to be in the process of letting go of them, and the mechanisms behind them, deep in my psyche.

Another way to look at perfect, which I find enlivening:
The Greek word that is often translated as perfect, can also mean "having reached its end, full-grown, complete in all its parts, of full age, consummated goal, mature from going through the necessary stages to reach the end-goal, developed into a consummating completion by fulfilling the necessary process, reaching the end (aim)…"
I find this a useful way to look at 'perfection' - like an acorn that has now become a mighty oak (Dr Bruce Morgan used to say ; )
Of course, I STILL won't get there, until my life completes and I am ready to transition. But, I really like this definition of perfection: to be allowing myself be in active process of wholeness, maturity and coming to completion as MYSELF in my Unique Being and Doing in this world.

And to be clear! I do not mean coming to maturity through Striving, through Effort, though Trying to be bigger, faster, smarter, BETTER!
I mean like a child in the sandbox, playing: and while I play: learning and growing and maturing.
I mean like the beautiful tree BEING itself every day in every way: enjoying the land it is on, soaking up the rain, delighting in the sunlight, swaying in the breeze... then millimeter by millimeter = after years, or decades, or centuries of being - it comes to its fullness.
I mean a maturity that comes with being myself, creating and playing in the physical reality, trusting Spirit. I am excited about that kind of perfection!
.

Allowing wholeness: letting go of eschewing pain

.
In my spiritual tradition, we practice letting go of energies that no longer serve us, and this 'housecleaning' in my energy system serves me, A LOT.

AND what I have noticed is: for the 'core issues', the deep wounding:
- eschewing the pain, pictures, experiences, energy...
- wanting to turn away and not grok this dark gift, rather just let it go:
this path Does Not Work.
I notice it doesn't make the pain move out easily in my system, or my healees or students systems either. In general, I notice for our deepest wounds, something else is often needed.

What seems to work, is being present to the brokenness, betrayal... whatever it is
- being present to what happened
- being present to what I thought and felt and made it all mean
- being present to how 'what happened' affected me then and affected me throughout my life to now;
- seeing the players and the game spiritually
- and holding it all, 'being with' myself then and now, and eventually validating and loving it all.

I don't mean spending a lifetime there, or even necessarily reliving it. I do mean not continuing the lifetime habit of running away from the pain/fear/whatever, hoping to bury it so deeply that it can't hurt me anymore. Because I can never run fast enough, and the price I pay for trying is very high!

So, in my tradition we notice the energy comes 'up and out to clear', if we let it. This process can be intense for a while, and happily that intensity ends and the fruit is amazing afterward:
- we need less distraction, obsessions, addictions...
- we can stop running from that old pain/fear/whatever...
- we can Just Be in our self and in our lives, more.
And as our internal expereince changes, our external expereince usually shifts as well.

This excerpt below inspired me to share, it is a wonderful description, IMO, of someone else's process of what I am referring to as allowing wholeness: letting go of eschewing pain. I hope you are blessed.
-wendy
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As Energy Comes Home

Compacted, frozen pain energy is like a baby. As a mother does not address her fussing baby with nondual language, neither do we in the meeting with ourselves. You may know and understand a lot and be conscious, but these energies are not conscious.

You come into direct relationship with them. Direct but gentle, not piercing, not intrusive, not willpowering anything. Asking contracted energy what it needs is a lovely way of acknowledging its presence and becoming intimate with it. Everything that is not at rest wants to be acknowledged, to be received and bathed in gentleness and benevolence.

It calls for a major slowing down, to receive the old, repressed cries of pain that show up now as contractions, as bodily sensations.

The mind is conditioned to want results - the result in this case being the disappearance of the disturbance. It is very, very sweet to bypass this, allowing the body to have what it has for as long as it does. You may walk around for hours with disturbance but you can be nurturing and aware of your precious cargo. Mercy and opening.

As you become more relaxed with meeting energy in yourself, you find a natural extension of this happening with others. Pain energy in another is no different in any way from energy in your own system. It is all the same separated, totally impersonal energy seeking resolution, looking for Home. So you find yourself, if the situation is fitting, in direct, welcoming relationship with these balls of energy in another, bypassing the personality and issue and mechanisms of mind. A catalyst for the dissolution of pain in others, a totally organic movement of Love.

The Kuan Yin of your heart is awakening. You come to see that You are Home and all is invited and welcomed Here.

- Mags Deane

Relationships: GO where the JUICE is!

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A friend of mine was talking about issues around dating on FB. I started writing and i just kept writing: I kept it up for awhile ; )

Below are a few of the ideas I have about 'dating' I feel something bubbling up in my ministry in this arena: don't know how it will come out, yet... I think starting the relationship FB group is a step in that direction as well ; )

**

When 'dating' I educate potential partners about who I am and where I come from, I share myself, I set Very Clear boundaries and expectations: I want this and not that, 'I want to snuggle but I don't want to be sexual tonight', for example.

I believe the most important time to be honest with myself and with another about who I really am, is in the beginning of a relationship. I put it all right out there, some would say I try to scare folks away: but what I really do is get both of us to be excited about what 'works' and realistic about what does and doesn't *fit* as Fast as possible.

It is like a job interview, many folks go on 'dates' saying: oh pick me! and then be on best behavior, and try to do and say it 'right'. I have learned as both an employee and an employer: the potential *employee's* job in an interview is to find out:
- Will I fit in here?
- Does this company and position fit my needs?
- What are they looking for and is it a good personality and skills match for me?
- What are the short and long-term goals for this job, and how does that suit my short and long-term goals? etc.

As an interviewer, if someone comes in knowing who they are and what they want and is PROACTIVE about finding out about the company and the position and what would be expected of them = pretty much always I want to hire their ass! Because they are taking responsibility for themselves and their life and their career path and it is very likely they will take responsibility for the job and the things that need done, if I hire them: this is Very Attractive, personally and professionally!!

Similar things are true for a 'dating' situation: when I GO FOR what I want, what I need, what is fun for me, what is juicy; and I am clear about MY priorities: 'yes I want sex, but I want to feel safe first', or whatever: this is extremely attractive!

So I practice being 'myself in extreme' when 'dating' - we might not end up together, but I have fun, we both get value, and they know what they are getting or not getting very clearly. I am not stuck in: are they a good fit or not? I don't go to fantasy land, thinking: Maybe I could make myself fit in their box, Maybe they could fit in my box if i saw off an arm: that is complete BS! In my way of being, If I am not jazzed about them, and them about me, what is the point of that? The end-game makes no sense, IMO. If it is not an exciting fit, I bless them and I am on to the next juicy, authentic encounter.

If I am not comfortable with anything in the dating situation, I say so, and I say what would work better for me. If I don't think it will work out, I say so ASAP, and deal with the issues. One of the best jobs I have had, I kept telling the owner: I don't think this job is a good fit because x, y, z - and he kept coming back with a new offer because he saw in me the potential to assist his business. One of the sweetest lovers I've ever had, I turned down over and over; and he kept coming back and saying no: we can work out p, d & q. I am not saying to play games, or play hard to get, or any of that BS - I am saying the opposite: PLAY YOUR OWN GAME!

The 'dating' game is not about putting on my best face, and my sexiest outfit and being as NICE and ACCOMMODATING as I can be. This leads to Very Bad results: because someone ends up buying a 'package' and eventually has to find out somewhere along the way that they got a bait-and-switch! Eventually I need to be Myself (I pray this is true!) and then what??

Meanwhile, if I am trying to be something I am not, it is a lot of work, and not a lot of fun for anyone! And i have to be hyper-vigilant. And I can't receive love, affection or validation because I am too busy being someone I am not! Their true attraction for me cannot come IN because I know their affection is for my facade, not for ME! Aye, 'what a tangled web we weave...'

Meanwhile, while I am busy trying to match this one person's pictures of a perfect mate, or whatever - I am missing the chance to be treasured by some one who is GAGA Crazy over *ME* - my real, true self! Because if I do not let MYSELF out to Play, then *I* am not available to fall in love with! On the other hand, If I let my freak-flag fly and BE ME: THAT IS *VERY* ATTRACTIVE - I am warm and loving and fun, interesting and interested in them - etc - who wouldn't want to play with me??

I have been Very fortunate to be blessed with amazing partners throughout my adulthood. I always say when I am open to a new partner: although I cannot imagine it (because my past partners were amazing) but, my next partner will be even More Amazing - and it is true!!

I have always been larger than the average woman, and I am average looking, and average in many ways - not especially brilliant, or especially interesting to most people. Meanwhile, some of my acquaintances are surprised: 'you are fat, how are you with that great guy?' I swear this is what they say!

Well, I continue to let go of the lovely pictures my family and this society gave me that say: 'you Have to be (model) beautiful to be loved'. My mother actually said this to me growing up, and she meant well: she wanted the best for me and she believed I needed to get with the 'program' if I wanted to be loved. Her pictures are that I need to be thin, and fit, and appropriate, and dress well and be sexy, and cook and clean... and accommodate a LOT.

Well, I did get with the program - but a very different program than hers! I am a great cook, but I only do it when I feel like it. I rarely wear makeup, I don't iron, I dress... uniquely ; ) I am a terrible cleaner and only do it when i feel like it: which is not a lot. I am really awful at most of the things my mom, and many other people, think I need to DO and Be, IN ORDER to be loved...

And I think my mom is still amazed that I can be my unpolished, somewhat slovenly self and have such an amazing, delightful relationship with an awesome partner. I still think after Michael and I being together for over 16 years now, that she cocks her head in wonder at me - still kinda wondering: 'how did she pull this off' ; )

I am not saying any of this to get down on my Mom, she loves me, she just has very different pictures about how to live life than i do!!

Here are some of my pictures about how life works for me:
I hold on to the love of Gd, which shines out from me.
And I allow myself to love myself, the best I can.
And I let Gd continue to teach me to let others love me: even when I don't live up to my own or society's pictures about beauty or whatever.

And, if I let go of I'M FAT and trip on it as little as possible, most people can let go of it too!! I think Guys especially get a really bad rap: 'oh, Men are bad, they only want young, thin, perfect little creatures'. Of course there are women who only want a certain body-type as well... Great they can play together and hope no one gets sick or hurt or old ; )

So, for some this is true. But for many this is absolutely Not true. Folks want a lot more in a relationship then some perfect facade.

The truth is, after a while, whomever I love is beautiful to me: regardless of the big nose or the pot belly - their bodies are absolutely precious to me. PRECIOUS.

And another fact is: humans can get used to almost anything, very quickly: SO I start dating, IDK, George Clooney or Andie McDowell tomorrow - in a couple months or years, they will be just another person to me: someone who snuggles in bed and leaves toothpaste in the sink, and who I sometimes love and sometimes hate - just normal everyday life... Not, OMG, I am sleeping with a dreamboat! Because this we can count on: we can learn to take almost anything for granted ; )

There are sweet spots, and delightful, as well as annoying, idiosyncrasies about each person - count on it - no one is a completely perfect fit - it just matters if they are annoyances that I can live with!

But, to get back to the point, if I walk around saying THEY won't love me until I am Blah, blah, blah (until I am thin with long hair - or whatever ; ) Well, then, um, they won't love me until I am thin with long hair! It is impossible for anyone to get Through that Barrier - MY BARRIER! And I am not likely to be thin with long hair any time in the next month - probably this lifetime... so until then; I might as well go play with the body I've got!!

My point is, when I get out of my own way, and start ALLOWING Love Now, then that is what I get: Love. Now.

There is spiritual work that really assists me with this. I am constantly babbling about this, so I won't add this now ; )

Anyway, here is the bottom line:
I have been a relationship coach for about 20 years, off and on, and I always tell folks: just GO where the JUICE is!
- Who are you attracted to (in whatever way, man or woman) go THERE and play!
- What situation or activities are JUICY for you - go there and play!
- and BE JUICED about it all!

While you are at it:
- BE wildly authentic.
- Allow the Universe to provide.
- Love yourself, and allow love IN.

It comes down to: FOLLOW YOUR BLISS, wherever she leads...
LIFE will open to you, Doors will open to you, Friends and Delights will open to you. Love will open to you... Bet on It!!


Happy weekend - w
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